Creative Writing--So Simple Even You Can Do It! (Probably), Monday, Period 4

[doesdoctorstuff]

Fourth period had well and truly begun by the time Navaan sauntered into the classroom. Look, it was early! And daylight! Sometimes hungover doctors needed to take extra time with their precautions to make sure that they don't explode! Did you want an exploding teacher? Huh? Did you?

That's right! Didn't think so!

"Oh, good, you're here!" Navaan said cheerfully. "I was gonna be mad if they made me get up this early and no one was here." Then she proooobably should have arrived on time, but that wasn't really how her brain worked. "Welcome to Creative Writing--So Simple Even You Can Do It! (Probably). Creative writing is really easy, so long as you know what you're doing and you're not a complete idiot. In this class, I'm gonna teach you the stuff you need to know, but not being an idiot is up to you. So, yeah...Don't be an idiot."

Helpful, Navaan.

"Today's lesson is all about names. Someone once said that a rose by any other name would still smell good, but that guy was an idiot. Cause even if it did smell good, no one would give a rose a chance if it was called 'Stinky Skunk Turdweed'. They certainly wouldn't be advertised in all the wedding books and stuff, either. Writing is the same. Your name has to match the genre you're writing in. Back home, there's an amazing smut writer named Felicia who writes all sorts of really, really good smut. Even though her books are awesome, she wouldn't have an audience at all if her name was Hortense or Ethelfrida." Navaan stopped and looked at her class. "Sorry if any of you are named Hortense or Ethelfrida, but those are really ugly names. The same goes for Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire--he's not going to sell any action-adventure or fast-paced spy thrillers with a name like that."

Look, there had been a movie last night on the Black and White Period Piece Old Lady Boring Movie Channel and Navaan hadn't been able to find the remote. "So, today we're all supposed to get to know one another and stuff. Or something. I don't know, I don't pay attention. Instead, you're gonna tell me what genre of book you're gonna write if you don't prove to be a complete cretin and pick a nom de quill that really sells it. I guess you can tell me other stuff about you, like your age and if you're legal and why you signed up for this class, but I'm guessing it's because you want to learn how to write books and not suck at it. Also the name Felicia is off-limits cause it's mine."

That's right, students. Not only was your teacher an accomplished doctor, she was also an accomplished smut-peddler!

[OCD up! Have at!]

Comments

[doesdoctorstuff]

With your chosen genre

[hasaknightjob]

Steven Grant, undecided. Unless fiction counts.

[pun_king]

Graham Cracker, fantasy!

Before the Teacher Arrives

[doesdoctorstuff]

Talk amongst yourselves, take your last chance to run...

Re: Before the Teacher Arrives

[hasaknightjob]

Steven looked around nervously. His concern about accidentally missing class wasn't helped by the teacher being late. Did he come at the wrong time? To the wrong place?

He wondered if any of the other students would look at him strangely if he asked them if this was the right class. Or day, for that matter.

Re: Before the Teacher Arrives

[professionalweirdo]

Would an enthusiastic wave from one of his lodgers help?

Because he was getting an enthusiastic wave from one of his lodgers.

Re: Before the Teacher Arrives

[pun_king]

Graham never was very good at sitting still, so it didn't take long at all for him to start getting a little antsy in his seat. But it was more for the fact that he came into this class already with an idea that was itching to get out of him, and he was really anxious to start writing it. But would he get in trouble, if he started writing before the teacher even got here? He tried to hold it in, but it got to a certain point where he couldn't any more, and, oh-so-subtly, he flipped open the notebook on his desk to a fresh page. He whistled a little, innocently, nothing to see here, as he reached for a pen. Looking around to make sure he wasn't getting any suspicious looks, he started writing. At first, he did so with only sparing a few glances toward the page as he did, but, as he started to really feel his creative mojo, his attention went more to the fervent writing, though he did, on occasion, lift his eyes and look around to see if any of his classmates looked like they might rat him out for pre-writing once the teacher (if the teacher!) ever did arrive.

Listen to the Lecture

[doesdoctorstuff]

Is it a lecture if it contains no useful information at all?

Okay, listen to her talk. Ask questions. Look at your fellow classmates uneasily. Whatever!

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[professionalweirdo]

Gonzo would not see anything weird about an exploding teacher.

He also didn't see anything weird about "Hortense" or "Ethelfrida". Or even "Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire". Frankly that sounded like a fantastic name to him. He would absolutely subscribe to Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire's newsletter!

"Does Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire have a newsletter? Because I would totally subscribe to that."

See?

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[doesdoctorstuff]

"Nope, because he is an irascible coxswain!" Navaan declared. She only knew what one of those words meant, but the other was fun to say. "There's a reason he wasn't invited to the cotillion, even if he couldn't have been more of a lout than Count Lionel!"

She'd actually gotten really into the movie.

Introductions!

[doesdoctorstuff]

You can include your real name if you want, who knows if Navaan will be bothered to remember it, but otherwise share the genre of book you'd write and your pen name. That's what's most important!

Maybe your year and other things you think Navaan might be interested in.

Re: Introductions!

[hasaknightjob]

"Erm, Steven Grant," Steven said. "That's Steven with a V. I hadn't fully decided yet on genre? Trying my hand at fiction in general, mainly. See how it goes?"

Re: Introductions!

[doesdoctorstuff]

She narrowed her eyes at him. "It's not gonna be literary fiction, is it?" she demanded. "Because nobody needs another book about a middle-aged English teacher whose wife doesn't understand him so he ends up fucking some coed who thinks he's the smartest ever, but even the sex is boring because he's pretending like it's to make some kind of fancy point and not that he's getting off on it. Nobody. That's some free advice for you right there."

Re: Introductions!

[pun_king]

"Hi!" said Graham, eagerly, albeit a little nervously, as he stood to introduce himself and waved his hand. "I'm Graham, and I'm going to write an epic," so epic he had to include a sweeping arm gesture, "fantasy, with all the best bits thrown in and made even better! Brave warriors! Fair maidens! Evil magicians! Dragons, gryphons, pirates, vampires, killer sharks and brave capybara! You name it, it's gonna be in it, especially since it's going to be so epic, so grandiose, so...long!, that you know what? I probably won't even finish it before I die! But, look!"

He reached for the notebook and held it up proudly.

"I've already got the first three chapters! And as for my nom de quill, well! If it's a big sweeping epic fantasy, I know I've got options, but I'm pretty sure one of the rules is that you have to have extra initials, and it's smart to go with R. So....maybe...hm.....G. R.R. Aham! Mm, no, that'll just make me hungry. G. R. R. Abraham? Hides the ham a little, like a really fluffy bun, you know? I think that's it. That's what I'm going for! G. R. R. Abraham! No! D. D. R. R. Abraham! Or should the first one be a name? It can be a name. Daniel? David? Dave. Dave! Dave R. R. Abraham! And that's my final offer!"

Re: Introductions!

[doesdoctorstuff]

"I like the cut of your moxie, Dave," Navaan said, nodding through his entire monologue there. "Except, one question. You ever read any fantasy written by some guy named Dave? Does it sound like Dave has the kind of rich, deep, inner life that's gonna provide compelling epic fantasy? You think Dave gets laid enough to be able to keep up enough sexy fantasy build-up for books and books and books that just edge you forever until maybe finally possibly coming to a climax anytime ever?"

Okay, that was more like three questions but they were all valid, okay?

Re: Introductions!

[furrybluefreak]

"Im Kurt Wagner!" Kurt said with a grin when it was his turn. I am not sure what name I would use to write. I know the codename I would use if I ever managed to get on the team with the X-Men would be Nightcrawler. So, I'm not sure I should use that as a pen name?"

Re: Introductions!

[doesdoctorstuff]

"Well, a nightcrawler is a worm, so that's probably not a good pen name for something exciting," Navaan pointed out. She wasn't sure it was a great codename, either, but maybe the X-Men were all worm enthusiasts. There were some weirdos out there, for sure. "Do you wanna write about worms?"

Re: Introductions!

[mustbeawitch]

"I am Miss Lydia Bennet," Lydia introduced herself, "and ladies don't usually publish under their own names, so I suppose I'll have to put something dull like 'by a Lady' on the cover. Or a man's name. Charles Clay or something like that." Ugh. "I'd like to write a thrilling novel of some sort."

Re: Introductions!

[doesdoctorstuff]

"Both those options suck," Navaan declared. "But not suck in the fun way, but in the boring way. Thrilling novels need thrilling names." She arched an eyebrow. "What could be more thrilling than a lady using lady name!"

Re: Introductions!

[professionalweirdo]

Well, Gonzo was going to say he was going to write Literature, but then Navaan went on a whole rant about college professors and that sounded absolutely terrible. Was that was counted as literature these days? Where were the wars? Where was the drama? Where were the poor disguised homoerotic fantasies about whales??

"I'm Gonzo," he said. "And I'm going to write great fiction!" There, that had to be better than 'literary fiction', right? "About wars and drama and maybe whales! Or at least the Man-Eating Chicken of the Colorado Rockies. Someone has to tell her story! "

Re: Introductions!

[doesdoctorstuff]

Mmm, Navaan was intrigued by his offering so far, but he'd lost points skipping over the thinly-veiled homoeroticism.

"So what's your pen name gonna be?" she asked. "Is this a celebrity biopic of the murder chicken or something else?"

Re: Introductions!

[noonedecidesmyfate]

"My name is Belle, I've never thought of a name I might use other than my own," Belle said. "And I think I would like to write something of an adventure! With at least a little romance."

Re: Introductions!

[doesdoctorstuff]

"Of course you haven't, that's why I'm the teacher and you're the student," Navaan pointed out. Slowly. "The trick is to think of one now."

Talk to Navaan

[doesdoctorstuff]

She doesn't have a Nurse/TA/Ghostwriter yet! Inquire for the position!

OOC

[doesdoctorstuff]