Navaan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
doesdoctorstuff) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2024-01-08 02:55 am
doesdoctorstuff) wrote in fandomhigh2024-01-08 02:55 am
Entry tags:
Creative Writing--So Simple Even You Can Do It! (Probably), Monday, Period 4
Fourth period had well and truly begun by the time Navaan sauntered into the classroom. Look, it was early! And daylight! Sometimes hungover doctors needed to take extra time with their precautions to make sure that they don't explode! Did you want an exploding teacher? Huh? Did you?
That's right! Didn't think so!
"Oh, good, you're here!" Navaan said cheerfully. "I was gonna be mad if they made me get up this early and no one was here." Then she proooobably should have arrived on time, but that wasn't really how her brain worked. "Welcome to Creative Writing--So Simple Even You Can Do It! (Probably). Creative writing is really easy, so long as you know what you're doing and you're not a complete idiot. In this class, I'm gonna teach you the stuff you need to know, but not being an idiot is up to you. So, yeah...Don't be an idiot."
Helpful, Navaan.
"Today's lesson is all about names. Someone once said that a rose by any other name would still smell good, but that guy was an idiot. Cause even if it did smell good, no one would give a rose a chance if it was called 'Stinky Skunk Turdweed'. They certainly wouldn't be advertised in all the wedding books and stuff, either. Writing is the same. Your name has to match the genre you're writing in. Back home, there's an amazing smut writer named Felicia who writes all sorts of really, really good smut. Even though her books are awesome, she wouldn't have an audience at all if her name was Hortense or Ethelfrida." Navaan stopped and looked at her class. "Sorry if any of you are named Hortense or Ethelfrida, but those are really ugly names. The same goes for Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire--he's not going to sell any action-adventure or fast-paced spy thrillers with a name like that."
Look, there had been a movie last night on the Black and White Period Piece Old Lady Boring Movie Channel and Navaan hadn't been able to find the remote. "So, today we're all supposed to get to know one another and stuff. Or something. I don't know, I don't pay attention. Instead, you're gonna tell me what genre of book you're gonna write if you don't prove to be a complete cretin and pick a nom de quill that really sells it. I guess you can tell me other stuff about you, like your age and if you're legal and why you signed up for this class, but I'm guessing it's because you want to learn how to write books and not suck at it. Also the name Felicia is off-limits cause it's mine."
That's right, students. Not only was your teacher an accomplished doctor, she was also an accomplished smut-peddler!
[OCD up! Have at!]
That's right! Didn't think so!
"Oh, good, you're here!" Navaan said cheerfully. "I was gonna be mad if they made me get up this early and no one was here." Then she proooobably should have arrived on time, but that wasn't really how her brain worked. "Welcome to Creative Writing--So Simple Even You Can Do It! (Probably). Creative writing is really easy, so long as you know what you're doing and you're not a complete idiot. In this class, I'm gonna teach you the stuff you need to know, but not being an idiot is up to you. So, yeah...Don't be an idiot."
Helpful, Navaan.
"Today's lesson is all about names. Someone once said that a rose by any other name would still smell good, but that guy was an idiot. Cause even if it did smell good, no one would give a rose a chance if it was called 'Stinky Skunk Turdweed'. They certainly wouldn't be advertised in all the wedding books and stuff, either. Writing is the same. Your name has to match the genre you're writing in. Back home, there's an amazing smut writer named Felicia who writes all sorts of really, really good smut. Even though her books are awesome, she wouldn't have an audience at all if her name was Hortense or Ethelfrida." Navaan stopped and looked at her class. "Sorry if any of you are named Hortense or Ethelfrida, but those are really ugly names. The same goes for Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire--he's not going to sell any action-adventure or fast-paced spy thrillers with a name like that."
Look, there had been a movie last night on the Black and White Period Piece Old Lady Boring Movie Channel and Navaan hadn't been able to find the remote. "So, today we're all supposed to get to know one another and stuff. Or something. I don't know, I don't pay attention. Instead, you're gonna tell me what genre of book you're gonna write if you don't prove to be a complete cretin and pick a nom de quill that really sells it. I guess you can tell me other stuff about you, like your age and if you're legal and why you signed up for this class, but I'm guessing it's because you want to learn how to write books and not suck at it. Also the name Felicia is off-limits cause it's mine."
That's right, students. Not only was your teacher an accomplished doctor, she was also an accomplished smut-peddler!
[OCD up! Have at!]
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