fandomhigh | Summer Shenanigans, Wednesday, June 30, 2021

"Today, since it's between sessions, Beaker has decided to take point," Anakin announced from where his bullhorn was poking out from an absolutely enormous pile of donuts.

The new raccoons had apparently decided to show up today to get new customers through their amazing donuts...tower...things.

So. There were a lot of donuts.

Just. A lot.

"Today we're going to use these donuts--thank you, County Donuts--in a relay race...thing. You can only pass them under your chin. Fortunately, we have a lot of extras for when you drop them!"

He turned to Beaker. "Are there any other rules?"

Beaker meeped extensively. Anakin's eyes went wide. "Well, that's going to get messy."

"Meep meep."

Anakin coughed. "Apparently the donuts are also on a timer and they will disintegrate into sprinkles--or jelly, or cream--if you take too long."

Thank you, Muppet physics.

"Listen for your names! There will be four teams of seven."

Beaker meeped smugly.

Anakin sighed. "And I, apparently, have been included. Come get your t-shirts."

TEAM 'MERICA
Harry
Wanda
Ignis
Beaker
Sam
Astrid
Ulysses

TEAM BEN DRANKIN'
Cait
Five
Stark
Summer
Clare
Din
Anakin

TEAM BANG
Alexis
Alluka
Malia
Diego
Shunsui
Lana
Jaskier

TEAM PICK UP
Belle
Ben
Miguel
Amaya
Dwight
Prompto
Hannibal

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Overall, Ignis supposed that first exchange could have been...less awkward, but he certainly didn't think that this next passage would likely be any less so, unable to help but wonder how many chins a single donut could handle before it just...disintergrated into crumbles.

But he hopefully managed time it well enough that he was ready when Wanda had slipped away from Harry, bending his knees to compensate for their height different with his chin lifted, neck stretched, to give plenty of space to work with.

He hoped.

"Awkward," he found himself muttering, "barely seems to cover it..."

"Agreed," she said, getting up on her tip toes to help with the height thing. "The powdered sugar isn't helping."

"It does seem a...choice that they went with donuts that appear to come with everything," Ignis added, because he just couldn't help snarking on food when the opportunity presented itself, even while trying to move in to remove said food from underneath one person's chin with his own. Which involved at least one moment of lingering awkwardly with a hand hovering over Wanda's shoulder, unsure if he should set it down for the ease of the exchange or not out of respect for personal space...

...there was no respect for personal space in a situation like this, was there?

Really no personal space whatsoever right now. She could feel Ignis' hand hovering over her shoulder. "Do whatever you need to do to get this donut away from me."

It was a ticking time bomb!

That was fair. And it was all Ignis needed to put his hands on Wanda's shoulders to create a steady base for him to move in, make a little more space with his chin before closing in on the donut, adjusting to for the inevitable squish and the relief that they were provided shirts of this because there was definitely donut crumbs all over his chest now, and then pulled away, donut secured, to turn toward the next person in their line.

...who literally did not have a chin.

It was honestly a miracle that Ignis didn't just drop the donut immediately with this realization, because how was this supposed to work, Beaker??

Maybe he could just explode now and save them the trouble.

Yes, Beaker maybe should've thought this through before suggesting this event.

"Meep meep meep meep!" he flailed. Chinlessly.

"Yes." The murmur was especially dry, not because of the powdered sugar, but because it was just a natural inflection when one was trying to keep a donut tucked against one's neck. "Meep."

But Ignis was eager to get rid of the donut and be done with this whole thing, so, despite the lack of a chin to work with, there he was, kneeling down to get to a better height to work with Beaker and tilting in a way that would hopefully just...position the donut so that...maybe that flap of a mouth could be useful in a way that the lack of chin was not.

This was easily the most ridiculous, undignified thing he had ever done in his life, and he cleaned up after Noctis Lucis Caelum...

Did you have a donut explode then, too, Ignis? Because that was the kind of power Beaker had.

Beaker was bent backwards (because felt meant never really needing a spine if it served the joke not to have one!) and kind of...balancing the donut on his tie just before it exploded in a spray of lemon goo.

Somehow, Ignis, wiping a bit of lemon custard shrapnel from his face, was not in the least bit surprised.

"I do hope," he said, "this doesn't mean we have to start over again ad we can just pick up where weleft of. From Beaker to..." He looked; dear gods, there was another one, "...the next."

Because, technically speaking, he had successfully passed it before it exploded!

"Meep meep meep meep," Beaker said from under the lemon goo. Just grab another and he'd pass it along to Sam! Assuming that one didn't explode too, which was by no means guaranteed.

"Do not cover me in goo," Sam said, glaring.

"Meep meep meep," Beaker said with a philosophical shrug. These things happened, Sam. You know that.

He grabbed another donut, balanced it on his shirt because he still didn't have a chin, and aimed kind of at Sam's beak.

Sam had doomed himself to being covered in jelly, rather than goo, hadn't he?

"This is ridiculous!" But at least Sam had something resembling a chin and could try and maneuver the donut underneath his beak. That would help a little. "Completely absurd and I blame you for all of it!"

Or cream filled with sprinkles! They might be patriotic?

"Meep meep meep!" Beaker said, moving more insistently. That donut wasn't going to balance there forever, Sam.

Patriotic sprinkles would make things slightly more bearable. Slightly.

"The frog will be hearing about this," Sam grumbled, leaning in to try and grab the donut.

Beaker, if you chose now to catch fire...

Beaker would wait! No guarantees on the donut, though, which was now very much Sam's problem.

Sam sighed heavily. First he'd been mauled by a feral student and now he was covered in powdered sugar and had been far too close to Beaker.

"Very well," he huffed. "Young lady, I believe this now belongs to you!" Please take the donut from the grumpy bird, Astrid. Before it exploded into jelly.

Edited 2021-06-30 22:53 (UTC)

"Oh, good," said Astrid, who delayed only because she wasn't sure which emotion was strongest in her at that moment: amusement at the whole absurdy of all of it or trepidation at the fact that it not exploding while near Beaker did not bode well for her.

So she was going to try and be as quick as she could about it, trying not to get distracted by appreciating the texture of Sam's feathers (totally a normal thought, don't even) while finding the best way to position herself with a giant puppet bird in able to take a potentially explosive donut from out under his beak.

Like you do...

And here she thought being licked by flowers would be the highlight of her weirdness today.

But their progress so far had been pretty good, and, assuming it survived the transition, all she had to do was pass it onto Ulysses and they'd be in the clear!

So that boded well, right?

Summer Shenanigans, Wednesday, June 30, 2021

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