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fandomhigh2021-06-15 07:09 am
but_mostly_america) wrote in fandomhigh2021-06-15 07:09 am
Entry tags:
Sam Eagle Presents: A Salute To... [Tuesday, 6/15, 4th Period]
The flag behind Sam today was fast approaching truly comical proportions. Another inch or two and it would be there. But not yet.
“Greetings, class!” Once again, Sam began speaking at precisely the moment the clock ticked over to the right time. Punctuality was important!
“Today, since last week’s discussion of barbecue was such an enlightening one,” Sam, who was perhaps a bit delusional, said, “we shall discuss another fine American food!” ‘Fine’ may have been pushing it a bit.
“Who here enjoys cheese?” Sam looked around the room after asking the question but did not wait for a response. Why would he wait for a response?
“Cheese is, of course, found all over. But the best cheeses come from America.” You all had seen that coming, right? “The best of everything comes from America! So today, I, Sam Eagle, present A Salute to All Cheeses But Mostly American!"
“You may believe that French cheeses are superior,” Sam said. “You would be wrong! French cheeses are often weird and smelly! Brie? No thank you! Port Salut? Merely Muenster with delusions of grandeur! Bleu cheeses? Not even spelled correctly!”
“What about Swiss cheeses you may ask? Ha! Full of holes! How absurd! You are being cheated of the proper amount of cheese per piece!” Sam had strong feelings about European cheeses, ok?
“I do not know if Sweden has cheeses but if they do I would not trust them. I know a chef from Sweden. I wish I did not.”
“So!” Sam looked around the room once more. “Of course we must return to American cheese!” You know, the not-quite-real cheese slices? “Being American it is of course superior! The process for American cheese was perfected by one James Kraft, an Americanwho was also Canadian shhh nobody tell Sam! It melts wonderfully! Perfect for grilled cheese sandwiches and cheeseburgers! And it comes in both white and also a very festive orange color! Are there any questions?”
Sam had brought samples of food today. 1 single plastic wrapped slice per student. No seconds allowed!
“Greetings, class!” Once again, Sam began speaking at precisely the moment the clock ticked over to the right time. Punctuality was important!
“Today, since last week’s discussion of barbecue was such an enlightening one,” Sam, who was perhaps a bit delusional, said, “we shall discuss another fine American food!” ‘Fine’ may have been pushing it a bit.
“Who here enjoys cheese?” Sam looked around the room after asking the question but did not wait for a response. Why would he wait for a response?
“Cheese is, of course, found all over. But the best cheeses come from America.” You all had seen that coming, right? “The best of everything comes from America! So today, I, Sam Eagle, present A Salute to All Cheeses But Mostly American!"
“You may believe that French cheeses are superior,” Sam said. “You would be wrong! French cheeses are often weird and smelly! Brie? No thank you! Port Salut? Merely Muenster with delusions of grandeur! Bleu cheeses? Not even spelled correctly!”
“What about Swiss cheeses you may ask? Ha! Full of holes! How absurd! You are being cheated of the proper amount of cheese per piece!” Sam had strong feelings about European cheeses, ok?
“I do not know if Sweden has cheeses but if they do I would not trust them. I know a chef from Sweden. I wish I did not.”
“So!” Sam looked around the room once more. “Of course we must return to American cheese!” You know, the not-quite-real cheese slices? “Being American it is of course superior! The process for American cheese was perfected by one James Kraft, an American
Sam had brought samples of food today. 1 single plastic wrapped slice per student. No seconds allowed!
Re: Listen to Sam and discuss cheese!
"Meep meep meep meep!"
"Bork bork bork?"
"Meep!"
Now Chef was judging you too, Sam.
Re: Listen to Sam and discuss cheese!
Sam had asked for questions. That was very different!
Re: Listen to Sam and discuss cheese!
Why do you hate joy, Sam?
Re: Listen to Sam and discuss cheese!
Re: Listen to Sam and discuss cheese!
"Meep," Beaker agreed.
Re: Listen to Sam and discuss cheese!
Too late, Sam.