fandomhigh | Sam Eagle Presents: A Salute To... [Tuesday, 6/15, 4th Period]

The flag behind Sam today was fast approaching truly comical proportions. Another inch or two and it would be there. But not yet.

“Greetings, class!” Once again, Sam began speaking at precisely the moment the clock ticked over to the right time. Punctuality was important!

“Today, since last week’s discussion of barbecue was such an enlightening one,” Sam, who was perhaps a bit delusional, said, “we shall discuss another fine American food!” ‘Fine’ may have been pushing it a bit.

“Who here enjoys cheese?” Sam looked around the room after asking the question but did not wait for a response. Why would he wait for a response?

“Cheese is, of course, found all over. But the best cheeses come from America.” You all had seen that coming, right? “The best of everything comes from America! So today, I, Sam Eagle, present A Salute to All Cheeses But Mostly American!"

“You may believe that French cheeses are superior,” Sam said. “You would be wrong! French cheeses are often weird and smelly! Brie? No thank you! Port Salut? Merely Muenster with delusions of grandeur! Bleu cheeses? Not even spelled correctly!”

“What about Swiss cheeses you may ask? Ha! Full of holes! How absurd! You are being cheated of the proper amount of cheese per piece!” Sam had strong feelings about European cheeses, ok?

“I do not know if Sweden has cheeses but if they do I would not trust them. I know a chef from Sweden. I wish I did not.”

“So!” Sam looked around the room once more. “Of course we must return to American cheese!” You know, the not-quite-real cheese slices? “Being American it is of course superior! The process for American cheese was perfected by one James Kraft, an American ~~who was also Canadian shhh nobody tell Sam~~! It melts wonderfully! Perfect for grilled cheese sandwiches and cheeseburgers! And it comes in both white and also a very festive orange color! Are there any questions?”

Sam had brought samples of food today. 1 single plastic wrapped slice per student. No seconds allowed!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Weeeeeirdly.

^Sakaki.

Beaker

META A TAIL

AlAra KiTAn

EllNay Ingramay

And eat your one (1) provided slice.

Beaker, who naturally looked alarmed, looked even more alarmed as the topic continued. Naturally he called the Swedish Chef.

"Meep meep meep meep!"
"Bork bork bork?"
"Meep!"

Now Chef was judging you too, Sam.

"No one asked for your opinions!"

Sam had asked for questions. That was very different!

"Meep meep meep?" Beaker asked as Chef glared through the phone, too. "Bork bork."

Why do you hate joy, Sam?

"I do not recall inviting any Swedes to any teleconferences!"

Well, that was some emphatic Swedish aimed at you right now, Sam, right before Chef hung up.

"Meep," Beaker agreed.

"I will not dignify that with a response!"

Too late, Sam.

Malia sniffed her slice suspiciously. "This smells . . . wrong. Like. Not food." She nibbled the corner. "Why does it taste like childhood?"

"It smells like cheese!" Or at least cheese product. "Of course it is food! What do you think it smells like?"

Malia sniffed it again. ". . . Plastic?"

Sam gasped, clearly affronted.

"It is not plastic!"

Malia looked up at him through her hair, even as she nibbled more of the corner. "It's not all cheese, either."

Sam just huffed and flapped his wings indignantly at that slanderous statement.

Malia kept nibbling and looking up at him.

Possibly wondering how an eagle would taste with melted cheese.

Cheese didn't factor into a lot of Japanese culture, really, so Sakaki felt a little out of her element, but interested in learning more about cheese, especially since she figured Mr. Eagle would think it was pretty weird that she didn't really think about cheese a whole lot.

But not as weird as if she thought about cheese all the time, or something.

She held her piece of cheese carefully between her very bandaged hands as she nibbled on it thoughtfully and tried to think of something to contribute to class this week.

"Would you care to offer an opinion?" Sam asked. "How does this fine American cheese compare to what you are used to?"

Why did Sakaki get the feeling that fine wasn't what most people would use to describe it?

Her classmates were only helping to solidify this theory.

"It's...not bad," she said. "And not too different, I suppose. We don't eat a lot of cheese in Japan, although it's popular with more Western style foods."

And you could probably find some cheese vending machines!

Sam nodded firmly. That seemed to be an acceptable answer.

Nell tried the cheese, but it just made her a little homesick. "We ussed to make our own cheese back home sometimes. I miss that."

This post brought to you by my not wanting to cook last night and instead eating cheese (not American) and crackers for dinner.

Sam Eagle Presents: A Salute To... [Tuesday, 6/15, 4th Period]

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Listen to Sam and discuss cheese!

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Re: Listen to Sam and discuss cheese!

Re: Listen to Sam and discuss cheese!

Re: Listen to Sam and discuss cheese!

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OOC