Sam Eagle (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
but_mostly_america) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2021-05-11 07:37 am
but_mostly_america) wrote in fandomhigh2021-05-11 07:37 am
Entry tags:
Sam Eagle Presents: A Salute To... [Tuesday, 5/11, 4th Period]
Punctuality was important so any students arriving early would find Sam standing at the front of a room, behind a podium but in front of an American flag, ready to begin. Any students arriving exactly on time would find the same. Any students arriving late would find Sam glaring at them from behind that same podium. Don’t ask how he managed to glare when most of his face was immobile. He could do it and that’s what’s important here.
At precisely the moment the workshop was set to begin Sam cleared his throat and began to speak.
“Greetings, children and welcome to ‘A Salute To…’ A workshop presented by me, Sam Eagle, wherein I shall educate you on a variety of topics!”
Sam surveyed the room, looking over all the students with his unblinking felt gaze. Including, much to Sam’s dismay, Beaker.
“This will be a wholesome and normal class,” Sam continued. Normal aside from being led by a large blue felt bird. “There will be no nonsense here. No immorality. No...weirdness.”
Yes, Beaker, he’s looking at you.
“There will only be education! On very important topics! And perhaps examinations! Those are necessary to track your progress!”
“Our introductory topic is, fittingly, introductions!! I will introduce myself, Sam Eagle, in a brief lecture entitled ‘A Salute to All Muppets but Mostly Sam Eagle.’ I am a Muppet! My colleagues at The Muppet Show are Muppets. Some Muppets are more worthy of a salute than others but I shall salute all Muppets today.” Maybe not all Muppets. Maybe not Beaker. Or the frog who had betrayed him by sending him to an island where Beaker currently resided.
“I am, of course, an American Eagle. The most noble of birds and the most noble and decent of all Muppets.” Somebody wasn’t terribly familiar with his Sesame Street colleagues, clearly.
“Unlike some other Muppets, I enjoy wholesome pursuits. Culture! Americana! The stars and stripes! Art! Literature! Morality! I constantly work to improve the quality of the entertainment we produce when no other Muppet will take a stand!"
"I do not enjoy nonsense. There will be no explosions here! Unlike some of my colleagues I do not believe in utilizing explosives for frivolity or amusement! And there will be no attempts at humor particularly from any bears. No cooking in this class and definitely no singing of the word ‘bork.’ No one will be shot out of cannons! And! There will absolutely be no laboratory experiments!” Did you hear that, Beaker? DID YOU?
“But enough about other Muppets! It is now time for all of you fine young citizens you to introduce yourselves!”
[Standard work availability disclaimer, though we have state testing today so I should be extra free for the early afternoon!]
At precisely the moment the workshop was set to begin Sam cleared his throat and began to speak.
“Greetings, children and welcome to ‘A Salute To…’ A workshop presented by me, Sam Eagle, wherein I shall educate you on a variety of topics!”
Sam surveyed the room, looking over all the students with his unblinking felt gaze. Including, much to Sam’s dismay, Beaker.
“This will be a wholesome and normal class,” Sam continued. Normal aside from being led by a large blue felt bird. “There will be no nonsense here. No immorality. No...weirdness.”
Yes, Beaker, he’s looking at you.
“There will only be education! On very important topics! And perhaps examinations! Those are necessary to track your progress!”
“Our introductory topic is, fittingly, introductions!! I will introduce myself, Sam Eagle, in a brief lecture entitled ‘A Salute to All Muppets but Mostly Sam Eagle.’ I am a Muppet! My colleagues at The Muppet Show are Muppets. Some Muppets are more worthy of a salute than others but I shall salute all Muppets today.” Maybe not all Muppets. Maybe not Beaker. Or the frog who had betrayed him by sending him to an island where Beaker currently resided.
“I am, of course, an American Eagle. The most noble of birds and the most noble and decent of all Muppets.” Somebody wasn’t terribly familiar with his Sesame Street colleagues, clearly.
“Unlike some other Muppets, I enjoy wholesome pursuits. Culture! Americana! The stars and stripes! Art! Literature! Morality! I constantly work to improve the quality of the entertainment we produce when no other Muppet will take a stand!"
"I do not enjoy nonsense. There will be no explosions here! Unlike some of my colleagues I do not believe in utilizing explosives for frivolity or amusement! And there will be no attempts at humor particularly from any bears. No cooking in this class and definitely no singing of the word ‘bork.’ No one will be shot out of cannons! And! There will absolutely be no laboratory experiments!” Did you hear that, Beaker? DID YOU?
“But enough about other Muppets! It is now time for all of you fine young citizens you to introduce yourselves!”
[Standard work availability disclaimer, though we have state testing today so I should be extra free for the early afternoon!]
Re: Introduce Yourselves!
Re: Introduce Yourselves!
Re: Introduce Yourselves!