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fandomhigh2021-01-05 11:10 am
rebelseekspizza) wrote in fandomhigh2021-01-05 11:10 am
Entry tags:
Sex Ed, Tuesday Morning
This was a regular old class, so they were meeting - or at least doing their first meeting - in a regular old classroom. At the front of the class, or rather, lounging on top of the desk like it was a perfectly normal place to sit, was a tall guy in a red coat with white hair that hung over his face and down to just below his jaw. Said jaw was currently facilitating a massive grin.
"Hey kids," he announced. "Welcome to Fuc--"
The rest of what he was saying was cut off by a slim hand pressing over his mouth and their other teacher - slender, with long, dark hair and a long-suffering expression undercut by the amusement in her eyes - leaned around him to address the class. She'd been sitting behind the desk, but had given up trying to convince Dante to sit anywhere else. There were more important battles to be fought.
Like the name of their damn class. "Sexual Health and Understanding," she filled into the space over his muffled noises behind her hand. "This isn't a class just about sex and sexuality. We're approaching this as a holistic subject that will hopefully teach you about your body, the bodies of others, different aspects of sexuality, and the importance of consent. Please understand now, this is not an abstinence-only course and we will be using appropriate terminology for body parts--" at least one of them anyway "--so we hope you'll work through any embarrassment over the subject matter in order to learn."
Dante finally pried the hand off of his mouth. He was smiling sunnily. "But you can tap out if something grosses you out," he said. "I mean, unless it's about other people's sexual identities and shit, then you can just fuck right off."
Did he blow through that one real quick to avoid another Kathy-ruption? Yeah.
"Still, everybody's different," he said, "so if we're gonna teach you probably badass kids something, we gotta know where to start."
She frowned at him, but didn't disagree with his statement. Either of them, and honestly, that 'fuck' had been warranted. "It's the first week and like any of you veterans already know, it's introductions week. I'm Kathy Li, class of 2016--" technically, even if she hadn't properly graduated, what with being dead and all. "I own Dite's Decadent Delights in town, a store that focuses on sexual health, safety, and pleasure."
She looked at Dante to speak, eyes widening as she belatedly realized she'd opened the door on him explaining his 'qualifications.'
"And I'm Dante Sparda, class of 2017," he said brightly, "I kick demon ass back home in Limbo City and get laid a lot." That explained it all, right? Right! "So you got any practical questions, I'm here for you."
Oh god. Nobody ask him practical questions.
Kathy's face was just...in her hands. She was groaning, but quietly. Because she was a professional. "So let's turn it back back to you," she said, only this time it was her voice that was muffled. "Name, class, uhh..."
She'd had a syllabus but someone had ruined it.
"And we wanna know what you're here to learn," Dante stepped in smoothly. "You know, where are you guys at, and what're you comfortable with learning about? I mean, it's cool if you're like 'I wanna get laid four times a day', though man, is that gonna be tough on you, and it's also cool if you're like 'no sex for me but I wanna make sure everything stays healthy down there', but we do gotta know what's what."
The smile Kathy flashed at him was warm and proud and happy. She knew he could be serious when it mattered and she liked that this mattered. "It's also okay if you're not ready to just announce at that to the class at large. You can write it down or come talk to us individually...or, you know, stand up on your desk and announce it through a bullhorn. We wanna meet you in your comfort zone." Beat. "Dante, get off the damn desk, I didn't mean you."
"What? It's only fair if we start, right? Or is that gonna be weird?"
Dante didn't know how to do this 'being an adult' thing.
... he got off the desk.
"Hey kids," he announced. "Welcome to Fuc--"
The rest of what he was saying was cut off by a slim hand pressing over his mouth and their other teacher - slender, with long, dark hair and a long-suffering expression undercut by the amusement in her eyes - leaned around him to address the class. She'd been sitting behind the desk, but had given up trying to convince Dante to sit anywhere else. There were more important battles to be fought.
Like the name of their damn class. "Sexual Health and Understanding," she filled into the space over his muffled noises behind her hand. "This isn't a class just about sex and sexuality. We're approaching this as a holistic subject that will hopefully teach you about your body, the bodies of others, different aspects of sexuality, and the importance of consent. Please understand now, this is not an abstinence-only course and we will be using appropriate terminology for body parts--" at least one of them anyway "--so we hope you'll work through any embarrassment over the subject matter in order to learn."
Dante finally pried the hand off of his mouth. He was smiling sunnily. "But you can tap out if something grosses you out," he said. "I mean, unless it's about other people's sexual identities and shit, then you can just fuck right off."
Did he blow through that one real quick to avoid another Kathy-ruption? Yeah.
"Still, everybody's different," he said, "so if we're gonna teach you probably badass kids something, we gotta know where to start."
She frowned at him, but didn't disagree with his statement. Either of them, and honestly, that 'fuck' had been warranted. "It's the first week and like any of you veterans already know, it's introductions week. I'm Kathy Li, class of 2016--" technically, even if she hadn't properly graduated, what with being dead and all. "I own Dite's Decadent Delights in town, a store that focuses on sexual health, safety, and pleasure."
She looked at Dante to speak, eyes widening as she belatedly realized she'd opened the door on him explaining his 'qualifications.'
"And I'm Dante Sparda, class of 2017," he said brightly, "I kick demon ass back home in Limbo City and get laid a lot." That explained it all, right? Right! "So you got any practical questions, I'm here for you."
Oh god. Nobody ask him practical questions.
Kathy's face was just...in her hands. She was groaning, but quietly. Because she was a professional. "So let's turn it back back to you," she said, only this time it was her voice that was muffled. "Name, class, uhh..."
She'd had a syllabus but someone had ruined it.
"And we wanna know what you're here to learn," Dante stepped in smoothly. "You know, where are you guys at, and what're you comfortable with learning about? I mean, it's cool if you're like 'I wanna get laid four times a day', though man, is that gonna be tough on you, and it's also cool if you're like 'no sex for me but I wanna make sure everything stays healthy down there', but we do gotta know what's what."
The smile Kathy flashed at him was warm and proud and happy. She knew he could be serious when it mattered and she liked that this mattered. "It's also okay if you're not ready to just announce at that to the class at large. You can write it down or come talk to us individually...or, you know, stand up on your desk and announce it through a bullhorn. We wanna meet you in your comfort zone." Beat. "Dante, get off the damn desk, I didn't mean you."
"What? It's only fair if we start, right? Or is that gonna be weird?"
Dante didn't know how to do this 'being an adult' thing.
... he got off the desk.
Re: Introduce Yourselves!
Shockingly, demons did not teach sex ed in hell planes.
Re: Introduce Yourselves!
And then facepalmed. Language, Katherine.