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Fuck Yeah! Science! - Monday - Period 1

Coming into the classroom today, the students would find Barry holding a flamethrower and a mass of green jiggly weirdness amassing at the back of the room and moving quickly to the front.

"No time to talk!" Barry shouted as he let loose a blast of flames. "Jello experiment gone awry! Either make a fucking break for it or help me destroy it."

Yep. It's one of those classes today.

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Ready for Jello Weirdness!

Wayne

Shuri

Astrid Magnussen

Wei Wuxian

There was no lecture. Just Barry blasting an ever increasing mass of Jello with a flamethrower.

It's not alive. Just a big mass of Jello that seems to keep growing exponentially.

For the record: it's lime jello. It also has mandarin oranges in it.

Sorry, Barry has the only flamethrower. You'll need to find your own Jello fighting solution.

"We're sure it's not alive?" Shuri checked.

"It's not alive," Barry said with a sigh as he shot out another blast of fire pushing back a gout of lime jello. "It was an experiment to see if I could make something to help with world hunger."

Look. His intentions were good! They just tended to get out of hand.

"The replication process got a bit out of control."

"You think?" Shuri replied dryly, taking apart a chair to use its parts for...something. She'd figure that out in a second.

"What? I didn't think the regeneration properties of fucking Jello and Mandarin oranges would be this bad," Barry said defensively. "Haven't you ever made a mistake?"

Honestly this was one of Barry's milder snafus.

"Nothing that turned something semi-sentient!" Shuri protested.

"It's not sentient," Barry protested. "It's just that I didn't expect it to keep making more of itself. There are no neural pathways. Just mandarin oranges and lime flavor."

"So odd," Shuri muttered. "Some kind of citric acid overload, maybe?"

"Or the island just hates me," Barry said with a sigh and another blast from his flame thrower. "That's a good possibility too."

"Well, perhaps, but that's not very scientific," Shuri said.

Wayne was mostly going to grumble disconsolately at the jello fer now, because he had mostly been hoping he was well past any tom fuckery involving jello in his life these days, and he s'posed he could always punch the stuff, but the thought of punching jello was hardly pleasant or effective, and there was a good chance most of the others in the class would have better handle on this sort of thing than he would, anywhey.

But he was willing and ready to punch it if he had to. He'd just prefer if he didn't have to...

Well the Jello would really just jiggle if punched. But there was a lot of it and it was steadily growing.

"Any help would be appreciated," Barry called out. "And I'll give out extra credit."

"Well, what the fuck else can we do?" Wayne asked irritably. "Go get a mountain's worth of Tupperware and show it all in the back of a fridge somewhere, where this stuff would normally go to die?"

Actually...

Wayne kind of hated the fact that that mebbe sounded like feasible logic around here...

Barry paused to consider the logic at that. "Huh. Maybe cold would slow down the replication process. Not so sure about the Tupperware."

"Seems it'd do good to at least attempt to contain it somehow," said Wayne now that this idea seemed to be getting some traction. "Might even help slow it down a bit more, kinda like how fish won't grow bigger'n the pond they're stuck in."

"Well, I did try to contain it before," Barry admitted. "It shattered the glass container I put it in."

Astrid was just going to blame the fact that she actually had grown up with a lot of food insecurity that her first thought was to just grab a fork and start digging in.

But then she thought about the idea of eating it not solving the replicating problem, and so there'd just be jello inside of them, growing bigger, until they exploded...

Yeah, Astrid was definitely out of her league with this one, and looked around for the potential essay option, although she had a pretty strong feeling that wasn't exactly a concern at the moment.

She could at least take a cue from Shuri and grab a chair in the meantime, though...

Wei Wuxian had questions. But they could wait until the threat was contained. He drew a stack of talismans from his robe and dashed around the Jello, spinning on every few steps. On each spin, he flung a talisman at the blob. The talismans should stick to the Jello with spiritual energy and create a field that would hold the Jello in place. In theory.

Barry watched Wei and frowned.

"Of course. Magic," he sighed. "Though I'm not sure what will happen. That shit is continuing to grow. Is it completely surrounded or will the pressure continue to expand and break the floor?""

Wei Wuxian drew his flute from his belt. "I can hold it in place as long as I can keep feeding it spiritual energy, but you've got to stop it from growing." He lifted his flute to his lips and began to play.

About anything. Except Jello.

This post brought to you by the State of Utah.

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