So You Want to Be a Pirate!, Wednesday, period two

[betterthanaplan]

"Okay, so here's the thing." Duke kind of couldn't believe he had to say this. "And, you know, it's probably my fault for not making my expectations more clear. I'm still new to this teaching gig, but that's no excuse. . . . Anyway. How did all of you end up doing the worksheet last week?" He looked around at the class, hands spread in despair. "I mean, okay, we got some creativity with the names, so that's good, but still. I literally gave you the option out loud of tearing it up and throwing it in the sea. I even told you that'd be the more pirate-y way to go. And yet." He pressed his hands to his forehead and sighed.

"Right. So. Just to be absolutely clear: pirates don't follow rules. Like, okay, you should probably mostly do what your captain tells you, mostly under the threat of some sort of creatively awful retribution, but the whole point of being a pirate is to say 'screw you' to other people's authority and do your own thing. So let's just get this out of the way: I'm the captain, just sort of . . . by default, I guess. And I am actively telling you to disobey me. Please do stupid shit in here. If you're a grades kind of kid, I assure you: you will get a better grade if you just tell me to fuck off and do your own thing than if you do everything I tell you to perfectly. We clear?" He looked around for any questions, then nodded and clapped his hands.

"Okay! Now we've got that out of the way, it's time for today's 'assignment'!" He went really heavy on the air quotes there, yes. And then leaned into the pirate accent. "We be doin' a piratical obstacle course! Each of you will be collectin' six flags along the way. The first will be on the poop deck, where ye'll be closin' yer eyes and spinning around a mop not three, not five, but thirteen times! Once yer nice an' dizzy, grab yer flag off the mop and run down to the mizzenmast. There ye'll be climbin' the cargo net to the yardarm, where ye'll find flag number two! Grab the rigging, and swing across to the foremast for flag number three. From there ye'll drop down to the forecastle — I prefer usin' a dull knife on the sail meself — where ye'll find flag number four. Slide down the banister back to the main deck, and pop below to the gun deck to load yerself a cannon and find flag five under the cannon balls. Fire that cannon out to sea, make yer way back up to the main deck again, brandish yer weapon of choice from this barrel, and give us all yer very best piratical battle cry for the sixth and final flag. The first of ya to present six flags to me, yer captain, wins." The accent disappeared again. "And for the love of god if you actually do all the steps properly and in order I may have to fail you for the day. Seriously. Please break the rules. As long as you're not actively harming each other, you'll be golden."

Comments

Sign in

[betterthanaplan]

Very disappointed in everyone's performance thus far

Re: Sign in

[raisedbybooklice]

Elisabeth Scrivener

Re: Sign in

[in_sidon_we_trust]

Prince Sidon

Listen to the lecture

[betterthanaplan]

Or don't! Because who really gave Duke any authority over you all anyway, a moose? Pffft!

Re: Listen to the lecture

[raisedbybooklice]

Elisabeth's hand shot up into the air as soon as his lecture was done.

Re: Listen to the lecture

[betterthanaplan]

Oh my god, she’d raised her hand.

“Yeah, Elisabeth?”

Re: Listen to the lecture

[in_sidon_we_trust]

And Sidon, who very much had a very pressing question immediately after the lecture, noticed Elisabeth's hand shoot up, and he wondered if their course in thinking was the same. And so he waited perhaps for her to ask her question, because, if it wasn't the same, his arm was shooting up straight away when she was finished.

Re: Listen to the lecture

[rotten2thecore]

Evie was intrigued by his way of thinking and his instructions to not follow his instructions.

"Are you a villain or is this normal for this place?" Evie wondered out loud as she looked at the teacher. "Granted this is only the second place I have been since leaving the Isle of the Lost, but back in Auradon it was always stressed that you were supposed to do what the teacher told you was the right thing to do."

Yes, Evie had used air quotes when she said right.

"And what exactly does fuck off mean? It's a phrase I'm not familiar with."

But one that may now become her favorite.

Re: Listen to the lecture

[betterthanaplan]

Evie got a broad smile and a finger snap. "Depends on who you ask! I'm not sure anyone's actually used the word 'villain' for me before, but they've definitely thought I was one." He shook his head fondly. Ah, Nathan. "As far as I'm concerned, the only time you really have to listen to a person in authority is when your safety is on the line. And they should totally make that clear from the start. So if I tell you 'watch out for the boom, it can kill you', you should probably listen to that. But 'fill out the worksheet'? Not so important."

As for her other question, Duke's grin got even larger and more shit-eating. "It is a very impolite way of telling someone to go away. Go forth and use it with joy."

Re: Listen to the lecture

[chirpchirpchirp]

Look, Vette had been a bluebird for the past couple of weeks, so she felt she was perfectly within her rights to just smirk her way right through that lecture.

Hey, if he wanted difficult, she could be so difficult.

Re: Listen to the lecture

[following_my_fishie]

Del was confused. That was her general state of being so she didn't bother asking a question about it. She listened to the lecture and nibbled on her lower lip a little.

Her outfit today was blue. All shades of blue, every shade of blue that had ever been imagined and at least two that were beyond the ability of the human eye to see. It made for an odd effect, parts of her outfit having tiny blank spots. They weren't holes, there was nothing beyond the blank spots, they were just blank spots.

Dragonhide - yes, real dragon - boots were buttoned up to her knees, displaying a small amount of skull-patterned socks that disappeared into cuffed and slash-and-puffed short pants. The patchwork shirt seemed to have even more fluffy lace ruffles than usual and the mermaids embroidered on the blue coat were actively moving, swimming through the weave. Her hat was a velvet apple cap tilted rakishly over one eye.

Re: Listen to the lecture

[amitragic]

Ulysses had totally been present for the first two sessions despite the player's brain just crying for like a month straight was going to do super well today at not paying attention or properly following orders. Why? Because he'd met a guy on the mainland over the weekend and was now either texting him non-stop, or trying to formulate a good text, or texting one of his friends back home about whether he was going overboard with texting this guy.

He was even doing it right now, only barely paying attention to the lecture.

Obstacle course!

[betterthanaplan]

Collect those flags! BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY (that doesn't involve grievous bodily harm to your fellow pirates).

Re: Obstacle course! - Flag one!

[betterthanaplan]

Moppin' the poop deck!

Re: Obstacle course! - Flag one!

[chirpchirpchirp]

Really, though, if anyone thought Vette was going to even think of starting by spinning, they were sorely mistaken. She was grabbing her mop and making off with it, wielding it like a weapon, perfectly intent on swinging it at anybody who got too close to her on her way to the mizzenmast.

Cackling the entire way.

Re: Obstacle course! - Flag one!

[following_my_fishie]

Del cheated. Look, he said they could! She held up a hand and her flags flew into her hand. She spent some time artfully arranging them around her clothing.

If you thought that was going to stop her, though..

She grabbed a mop and began running in a circle. Way more than thirteen times. She ran and ran and ran until her feet left the ground and she was running horizontally in the air. Lifting her feet, she let the centrifugal force take her and exclaimed a loud 'WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!' as she spun.

Re: Obstacle course! - Flag two!

[betterthanaplan]

The yardarm of the mizzenmast!

Re: Obstacle course! - Flag three!

[betterthanaplan]

Stuck to the foremast's sail!

Re: Obstacle course! - Flag four!

[betterthanaplan]

On the forecastle!

Re: Obstacle course! - Flag five!

[betterthanaplan]

Under the cannonballs!

Re: Obstacle course! - Flag six!

[betterthanaplan]

In a barrel of weaponry!

Re: Obstacle course! - Turn them all in!

[betterthanaplan]

Hand Duke six flags! See if you win!

[The RNG gods declare our order thusly:
Evie
Del
Jack
Nell
Vette (presuming she's no longer a bluebird. Or possibly even if she's still a bluebird)
Ulysses
Elisabeth
Theron
Sidon]

Re: Obstacle course!

[mylandmyrules]

Nell sat put and folded her arms. "I ain't doin' it," she said firmly.

Talk to the teacher

[betterthanaplan]

He's really hoping someone will be enough of a smartass to point out that by telling them explicitly not to do it the way he tells them to, he's made "doing it how he tells them to" a viable option for breaking the rules

OOC

[betterthanaplan]