fandomhigh | The Mid-Centry Cookbook; Tuesday, First Period [05/14].

"Hey, guys!" Summer greeted the class brightly, far too brightly for the evil she was about to unleash upon them, really, and that's why, in almost all of her alternate universe selves, she was the worst. "Hope the whole 'dropped into an amalgamation of various prehistoric possibilities' thing going on outside isn't throwing too many of you off; if it is, and you need to talk about it, though, I'm here, I get how it can be. But, for now, let's forget about all that because today, we're going to finally start cooking!

"Well," she amended, her smile far too viscious to be truly apologetic, "there's actually not a whole lot of cooking involved in this one. We'll start you out light. Today we're making Liver Sausage Pineapple."

Why, yes, those were the words that Summer meant to put togehter like that! And now she was displaying for you exactly what those words put together like that meant.

"Beautiful," she said, "isn't it? So, follow along with me through the recipe. Don't hesitate to ask any questions, unless your question is 'why are we making this?' Because that is a question that has no good answer, sorry not sorry.

"Let's get started!"

[[ ~~please wait for~~ the OCD is up! ]]

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"...I'm pretty sure most of that is just America," Okuyasu said, even though he was totally a yankii boy.

"It's kind of funny to come to the future to make food from the past, though."

He chuckled. That was funny.

"Well," Summer allowed to his first point, "you're not wrong. And it is kind of funny, especially when you add to it that you came to the future to make food from the past while also being transported to the super, super past."

What, with all the dinosaurs and all.

But Summer's head tilted a little, because she couldn't help being a little curious. "What time are you coming from, anyway, Okuyasu?"

"1999," Okuyasu said with a smile. "I used to think we were living at the edge of a bright fancy future. Which I guess is true, but now it seems almost as primitive as dinosaur times in comparison!"

Summer was 75% sure that was supposed to be a joke, but that other 25% of uncertainty just left her saying, "And I'm sure it'll seem like something else entirely in about a week or so."

Then she just had to go back to the year, shaking her head. "Dude,"...she should maybe work on not calling her students dude "...I wasn't even born yet in 1999."

Because that would be a fun thing to point out.

"Whoa," Okuyasu said in wonderment. "That means I'm old enough to be your dad!"

Yes, absolutely how that worked.

There was...a very long pause filled with a few blinks from Summer at that.

"Actually," she realized, "my dad was pretty much just about your age when I came around, so....yeah, this conversation just took a suuuuuuuuper weird turn, and coming from me, that is saying a lot."

She was actually a little impressed.

"Wow, I haven't even had a girlfriend yet, and your dad already had a kid at my age?"

He paused.

"Pretend I didn't say that first part."

"No way, man," said Summer, shaking her head unapologetically. Look at what she was making you all do, Okuyasu, you think you'll find sympathy in this cold, evil jello heart? "You can't take that back. But, hey, don't feel bad or anything. You wouldn't want to be like my dad, anyway. He's just some loser who won the Bad Life Choices lottery by knocking up the one person messed up enough to stick with him."

Yes, Summer had a great relationship with her parents, why do you ask?

"And who knows? Maybe you'll meet someone here who does appreciate food that looks like other food and they'll totally be wowed by your liver sausage pineapple skills."

...Summer was also divorced at eighteen. Do not take relationship advice from this woman.

Conversation like this just made Okuyasu miss his best bro Josuke... and to a lesser extent, his actual bro Keicho.

He was, however, certain of one thing.

"I don't think I'd want to date someone who wants to eat a liver sausage pineapple," Okuyasu said. "But maybe I'd date someone who was willing to pretend to just to protect my feelings."

"Awww," said Summer, because what was cuter than someone pretending to like disgusting food for you? "See, now that's sweet. And, obviously, if they're going to suffer through disgusting food just to protect your feelings, you might as well make sure it's the best disgusting food you can possibly make, right?"

The Mid-Centry Cookbook; Tuesday, First Period [05/14].

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