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fandomhigh2017-11-15 12:58 am
livingartifact) wrote in fandomhigh2017-11-15 12:58 am
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Introduction to Earth Zoology, Wednesday, period 1
"El chupacabra," Jenkins said at the top of the class, in lieu of his usual greeting. "Any of you signed up for the 'cryptids' course may already feel familiar with this creature, and may, in fact, have a lead on most of humanity in that respect. Little is known of this mysterious creature, which was only first recorded in the mid-1990s on most Earths. First discovered on the island of Puerto Rico, the chupacabra's natural range is limited to the southeastern United States, northern Mexico, and the Caribbean islands, though there have been reported sightings as far off as Russia." He pointed these regions out on the map, then turned a smirk to the class. "Having met the creature, I can assure you: if it was ever that far north, it was deeply unhappy, and probably wearing at least a couple thick wool coats.
"Chupacabra of course is Spanish for 'goat sucker', an appellation earned by its vampiric appetite for blood, specifically that of goats. A hungry chupacabra can and will exsanguinate an entire goat in seconds, occasionally managing to draw out the animal's organs as well as its blood — a thoroughly gruesome sight, I assure you. This has earned it a particularly nasty reputation, but as I have lately learned from personal experience, el chupacabra can be trained to assume a more symbiotic relationship with a goat herd, protecting it from other predators in exchange for measured, non-lethal feedings." He crossed the room to a closet door, pausing before opening it. "The particular chupacabra you're about to meet is one such trained animal. Though his herd is not present, I would advise against making any overtly threatening gestures or approaching too rapidly. Or — smelling like a goat. So should you be armed with goat pheromones today, I will ask you to please place them out in the hall until our animal encounter is over."
He opened the door, revealing a hairless, lightly scaled dog-like creature with a defined ridge of quills down its back and long fangs, which it bared at the students, before turning in place, grabbing a burlap sack with its teeth, and dragging it out into the room.
"Well now," Jenkins said, marveling. "This is a treat. It's brought along some of its homemade jerky." He leaned down, allowing the creature to sniff at the back of his hand before scooping the bag up. It whined in the back of its throat and wagged its tail. "This animal is, as far as I know, the only jerky-making chupacabra in the known multiverse, so all of you, please take a piece. Even if you don't eat it, it's sure to be scientifically fascinating!"
"Chupacabra of course is Spanish for 'goat sucker', an appellation earned by its vampiric appetite for blood, specifically that of goats. A hungry chupacabra can and will exsanguinate an entire goat in seconds, occasionally managing to draw out the animal's organs as well as its blood — a thoroughly gruesome sight, I assure you. This has earned it a particularly nasty reputation, but as I have lately learned from personal experience, el chupacabra can be trained to assume a more symbiotic relationship with a goat herd, protecting it from other predators in exchange for measured, non-lethal feedings." He crossed the room to a closet door, pausing before opening it. "The particular chupacabra you're about to meet is one such trained animal. Though his herd is not present, I would advise against making any overtly threatening gestures or approaching too rapidly. Or — smelling like a goat. So should you be armed with goat pheromones today, I will ask you to please place them out in the hall until our animal encounter is over."
He opened the door, revealing a hairless, lightly scaled dog-like creature with a defined ridge of quills down its back and long fangs, which it bared at the students, before turning in place, grabbing a burlap sack with its teeth, and dragging it out into the room.
"Well now," Jenkins said, marveling. "This is a treat. It's brought along some of its homemade jerky." He leaned down, allowing the creature to sniff at the back of his hand before scooping the bag up. It whined in the back of its throat and wagged its tail. "This animal is, as far as I know, the only jerky-making chupacabra in the known multiverse, so all of you, please take a piece. Even if you don't eat it, it's sure to be scientifically fascinating!"
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Listen to the lecture
Oogle the animal
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Somehow, she managed to get the biggest piece out of the bag without looking, and was now squinting at it thoughtfully. Maybe she could trade with somebody.
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"I must say," Sidon, who happily helped himself to some jerky, beamed down at the creature as he nibbled, "this is quite possibly the finest jerky I have every tasted! Absolutely fantastic! Well done, my goat-sucking friend! Thank you for sharing it with us!"
True, it was the only jerky he'd ever had, but the chupacabra didn't need to know that fact.
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Talk to Jenkins
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Chupacabra jerky = totally canon. Yep.
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I'm gonna watch it, probably.
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I ENJOY THAT KIND OF FLEXIBILITY IN MY ENTERTAINMENTS.
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And the episode where they dress up as clowns.
And the episode where they...you know what, the entire canon is *insane* and well worth watching. (Fair warning, though, it does tend to hit my embarassment squick, especially when Flynn is on.)
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That’s because Flynn is the WOOOOORST!
My absolute fave ep is probably the haunted house ep from season one (Cassie gets all the best eps), but the show won me over forever with the minotaur who was unapologetically just a dude in a fuzzy suit.
Magic.
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I also loved the ice giants.
And seriously, I would be happier with no Flynn at all.
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The trouble with Flynn is that the showrunners think he's hte main character.
He's not even in most of the episodes.
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It kind of ekes out over first season, really. We get hints in the dragon episode, when we see him interact directly with Dulaque. Morgan Le Fey calls him by name in the science fair ep, but it's in Latin, so for a lot of people it could blow right by (myself included, I had to look it up). Then in the season finale we actually get the actual impact of it, with Dulaque's endgame.
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Trying to find a non-spoilery way to ask this...Um. Did they keep Jenkins and Dulaque's relationship as it was in the legends?
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I love going back to rewatch the scene with Jenkins and Dulaque in the dragon ep with the knowledge of who they are to each other. I mean, if nothing else, just the look on his face in the icon on this comment . . .
Ugh. John Larroquette, how are you so good?
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