Library, Monday

[intotheout]

Tip was spending her shift today on an extended tour through random wikipedia pages. She wasn't even sure what she'd started out looking up, but she'd already read about the native peoples of Siberia, the 1849 California gold rush, and some strange ocean sound that sounded a whole lot to Tip like the planet had burped.

"Hey Bill, the Boov started out aquatic," she said. "Does a 'bloop' sound from the ocean sound strange to you?"

This started her pet robot on a long tirade about ocean conservancy and how the Boov had to flee their home planet because of degasification.

"Right," she said. "Sorry I asked."

[open!]

Comments

[in_sidon_we_trust]

Sidon had been meaning to make it to the library, a fistful of slightly damp notes clutched into his hands, and, at first, he was just a little too stunned by the place itself to notice anything else as he walked in through the doors.

Books were a rarity in Zora's Domain; stone tablets held up much better in the damp, wet, rainy climate. There were a few, mostly for visiting Hylians, the guestbook and recipe book at the inn, there was paper to send letters downstream. But he had truly never seen anything remotely like this. He was blown away. And a little overwhelmed.

"How absolutely, incredibly enticing/! All this knowledge! In one single place!"

[intotheout]

"Hey Sidon," Tip greeted, waving a hand to disperse the bubbles that made up Bill's latest rant (on the destruction of coral reefs, if she was reading the Boovian letters right, though that was no guarantee). "I guess it is pretty cool. We kind of take it for granted, where I'm from."

Even after the Boov attacks took out large chunks of Earth's infrastructure, even. No one ever really appreciated a library properly.

[in_sidon_we_trust]

"Tip!" Sidon called out a greeting. He hadn't noticed her there until just then, and he did feel a little bad about it, but, then again, how could he not be distracted by the majesty of wisdom around him. "Hello! Oh, how good to see a familiar face among all this unfamiliar literature! I have come searching for something," he held up his fistful of papers, "and I admit, I would not even know where to begin! Perhaps you may be able to assist me?"

[intotheout]

"That's my job," Tip agreed. Bill settled back into her hair, looking for all the world like a little bug-shaped barrette. In this case, a little bug-shaped barrette who still occasionally put out an indignant bubble.

Tip was just glad he didn't use soap to make his bubbles.

"What are you looking for?"

[in_sidon_we_trust]

And Sidon had to admit, he was a little intrigued by the little bug-like creature in Tip's wonderful hair, especially the bubbles, as something that reminded him of his aquatic home among all this dry land was something of note. He felt it might be rude or uncouth to pay it too much undue attention, though.

Besides, he was on a quest...for knowledge! He cleared his throat, trying to smooth out the papers with his Hylian script to read off the name, just to make sure he'd gotten it right. "Henry VIII of England," he read, then flashed his toothy grin at Tip appreciatively. "Mr. Jenkins recommended that I look into him, a notorious monarch who reached a massive size for humans, just as Zora kings reach massive size! I have been quite intrigued to find out more about this Henry VIII of England ever since, but have only now managed to investigate."

[intotheout]

"Oh yeah, we'll have plenty on him," Tip said, biting back a small laugh. "He got to be very big indeed, though I think mostly sideways. I think he was mostly known for going through six wives? And the whole Church of England thing, that was pretty big. . . ." Tip typed the request into the computer, then nodded. "We've got a whole section of books about him. I can show it to you."

She noted down the call numbers and led the way into the stacks.

[in_sidon_we_trust]

"Oh, wonderful!" said Sidon, who clearly had no idea what a library voice was. He was beaming, almost traipsing after Tip, which was quite the visual for his own size. "So you've heard of him! Notorious indeed! And six wives! All at once? I couldn't imagine! And was he a very good king, would you say?"

[intotheout]

"Not even a little," Tip said. Honestly, few enough people came into the library on her shifts that she wasn't the least bit worried about his volume disturbing anyone. "See, he wanted a wife who could give him an heir, and at the time women weren't supposed to be able to ascend to the crown. Of course, women also aren't the ones who determine the sex of the baby, but no one knew anything much about medicine back then. So when his first wife didn't give birth to any boys, Henry decided he needed a new one. But according to the religious leaders at the time you couldn't marry more than one person at a time, and the only way a marriage could end was in death. So he had her beheaded so he could marry someone else." Tip didn't remember any of the names of Henry's wives, but she had this part down cold. She scanned the shelves, then picked out a nice big hardcover that looked promising and pulled it down. "When that one wouldn't give birth to sons, he decided he felt bad enough about executing the first one that he broke his whole country away from the established religion and founded his own, like, religion-lite that said divorce was a-okay. But then that new wife died -- I think of natural causes? -- so he had to find another one . . . and anyway, he kept going until wife number six outlived him. And his daughter took the throne and ended up being one of the best rulers England ever had."

She flipped through the book until she found a portrait. "So there's probably some artistic license going on here, but see? He's about a head taller than his wife, here, but he's also about three of her across."

[in_sidon_we_trust]

And Sidon listened to all that with his mouth agape, jaw hanging in utter shock and awe of the whole thing. It was not at all what he had expected from his conversation with Mr. Jenkins, and he did feel a little bit bamboozled by it, but he was too fascinated and appalled to think on it much. "He did all that," he marveled, "and a male heir didn't even end up taking the throne at all in the end! Oh, what incredible irony! What poetic justice! Was she very large, the daughter, the new Queen?"

And when he leaned down to get a closer look at the portrait, his excitement for the story dropped away quickly into disappointment. "Oh," he said, a bit sadly, frowning as he straightened. "That doesn't look very large at all..."

He did consider the others in the picture, though, and he considered Tip's size, too (she was human, right?), which inspired an addendum, "Compared to Zora kings, anyway."

[intotheout]

"He's pretty big for a human," Tip said. "And compared to the Boov, he'd be huge. Scale is all about relativity."

[in_sidon_we_trust]

"That's true," Sidon allowed a small smile, now feeling a bit sheepish. "I suppose I was just expecting...more. In several ways." He chuckled a little, tilting his head at the book. "But still, it is a fascinating story, isn't it? I think Mr. Jenkins was right to guide me to look into this Henry VIII of England. If anything, I now understand that perhaps his tone was a bit in jest when he said that size and greatness are often in correlation. It will be a good reminder of things not to do when I am king! Thank you, Tip. This is going to be quite a project!"

[intotheout]

"I would definitely avoid having your own wives killed because you don't think girls are fit to be rulers," Tip agreed. "But -- I mean, I would probably try to avoid becoming a ruler myself."

[in_sidon_we_trust]

"I would rather wish to not have any of my wives killed at all!" Sidon remarked, and felt perhaps he should leave it at that, since, lately, it seemed the female part of the Zora royal lineage didn't seem to have much luck in the staying alive department as it was. He cleared his throat slightly, glad that he could move pretty easily away from that with the other part of Tip's statement. He tilted his head.

"But I'm afraid I can't avoid the ruler part," he said with a faint smile. "Nor would I want to; I've been raised to one day be king. But I find it interesting that you wouldn't want to be one. Didn't you say you're friends with a president? Has that turned you off to the idea?"

[intotheout]

"He's only president because his people voted him in. He didn't run for it or anything. His one and only act as president so far was to say that if the president didn't want to be a president he could appoint someone else to do the work for him, and then he appointed one of the Boov who did run to the position." She shrugged. "I mean, the Boov also nearly elected a literal parrot, too. It was their first election; they were still figuring out how it should work."

[in_sidon_we_trust]

That sounded...a little confusing. Sidon couldn't help wondering what would happen if his first act as King of the Zora was to appoint the title to someone else. There has nearly been an insurrection over him coming here! Zora's Domain would hardly be able to handle an upset like that!

"But what about leadership doesn't appeal to you, personally?" he wondered.

[intotheout]

Tip shrugged. "I barely like being responsible for me and my family," she said. "I don't want to have to be responsible for several million."

[in_sidon_we_trust]

"Million?" Sidon's eyes widened quite a bit. "That is quite the reign! I don't think there are even a million people in all of Hyrule! I suppose that would make it easier, there's only a few dozen Zora in the kingdom. We are a small nation, indeed."

[intotheout]

"Oh yeah, that'd definitely be easier," Tip said. ". . . I probably still wouldn't want to be in charge of everyone, though."