fandomhigh | Try Not to Die, Tuesday, June 6, 2017

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Try Not to Die, Tuesday, June 6, 2017

"Today we're going to China, which is definitely in Asia," Anakin said.

Estonia was still confusing him. Shh.

"China is the most populous nation on this planet, holding more inhabitants than many moons I've visited. It's also home to pandas, a bear-like animal my daughter is obsessed with. They will not eat you."

He paused. "I think."

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Marvel at Anakin's grasp of Earth geography!

...or not.

Ahsoka Tano

June Iparis

Jyn Erso

Jason Lee Scott

Rey

Kaylin Neya

Hyacinthe

Merrill

Anakin decided not to give you any choices in China. Anakin was being very meta today.

In your first Roadblock, you play table tennis against a Chinese national junior champion. You are playing with a regular paddle--he or she is playing with either a clipboard, frying pan or tambourine.

This kid is still kicking your ass. You need to score one point against him or her to move on.

[OOC: RNG sayeth:
1. Jyn Erso
2. Kaylin Neya
3. Khadgar
4. Jason Lee Scott
5. Ahsoka Tano
6. Merrill
7. FN-2187
8. Hyacinthe
9. June Iparis
10. Rey]

Edited 2017-06-06 16:54 (UTC)

It took Ahsoka a while to figure out how this game worked.

Then she felt no qualms whatsoever about tripping her opponent with the Force.

June didn't suck at many sports, but she was awful at this one. She was glaring and breathing heavy by the time she finally got a point.

The kid was annoying, but Jyn got lucky. She could move fast and managed to hit the ball at an angle that was just out of his reach. Ha!

You know, eventually they were going to have to do a sport Jason was reasonably good at. He hoped.

By the time he actually managed to return a parry, his frustration level was such that he used a bit too much force than strictly necessary, breaking his opponent's clipboard in half as they tried to hit the ball.

The judges decided to count that as a point, and Jason moved on.

Rey had proven to be sort of weirdly good at certain things she probably didn't have any business being good at.

Except kriffing ping pong.

Kaylin was... ridiculously lucky. That was pretty much it.

Hyacinthe had no idea how to play this game and it showed. Eventually he managed to move on by flirting with his opponent hard enough she got flustered and missed a swing.

Honestly, how Merrill didn't do worse was a mystery for the ages. Probably the only thing she had going for her was her sad, wide-eyed puppydog look (especially when she hit herself in the face accidentally with the paddle), and even that wasn't terribly effective for long against a champion table tennis player.

In your next roadblock, you get to eat a Traditional Food!

Are you afraid? You should be.

You must eat a dessert known as hasma, which is the fatty connective tissue found near the fallopian tubes of a frog, served to you in two hollowed-out papaya halves. You have to finish both servings of hasma, using only a provided pair of chopsticks and without lifting the papaya off of the table, to figure out where Anakin is.

Not the strangest thing Ahsoka had ever eaten. And still better than rations.

...

She'd had worse. Jyn ate the hasma with no problem.

Yeah, okay, the food wasn't exactly one of Jason's top picks, dessert-wise, and frankly he thought it was kind of gross. But he was also doing his best to learn and grow as a person, and not automatically dismiss things outside of his own experiences.

Using chopsticks successfully? That was another story. He was gonna be here a while.

Yeah whatever. Food was food. Kaylin just wasn't particularly good at the whole chopstick thing.

Yeah, as food went, Merrill had definitely had things that sounded more off-putting and weird, and she wasn't one to turn down a dessert.

It would be nice to say that she ate it with no problem, except that the chopsticks were . . . a fairly sizable problem.

Who is not eating hasma.

"This week was suspiciously easy, Master."

It was almost like she didn't trust him where this class was concerned.

Anakin grinned. "So it should be more difficult, Padawan?"

Oops.

"I didn't say that." Hence the 'suspiciously'. "I'm just waiting for the other shoe to fall."

Because there was always another shoe, even if it wasn't on Anakin's foot. ~~And that was a runaway metaphor worthy of Isabela.~~

Anakin grinned. "Maybe it will next week."

Anakin: terrible person.

First! About time!

"That was easy," she said, almost smiling for a change.

"Too easy?" Anakin asked. "I can make it more difficult."

"Bring it on," Jyn said with a shrug. "I've dealt with a lot worse."

"Like what?" Anakin asked, preparing to take mental notes for future terrible lesson plans.

"Ever had to hide under a Hutt's tail end?" Jyn asked. Because ew.

On the bright side, Jason felt reasonably sure he'd finally mastered chopsticks. Even if it had taken what felt like for-god-damn-ever

"Not a fan of frog fallopian tubes?" Anakin said.

"I mean, I'm sure they're fine if that's your thing, but... I'll take a Krispy Kreme over that any day." Which was saying a lot, considering his own less than positive associations with the doughnut chain.

"Well, doughnuts are much better," Anakin said. "I'm guessing. I didn't try the food."

Because he was the teacher and also a massive hypocrite.

Her best finish yet. Not bad!

"Well done," Anakin said, smiling.

As if she hadn't had enough challenge with the roadblocks. By the time Merrill arrived she was completely disoriented, but at least she looked like she'd had a bit of an adventure on the way?

Anakin laughed. "Did you have fun, at least?"

And the final results are:

1. Jyn Erso
2. Ahsoka Tano
3. Kaylin Neya
4. Hyacinthe
5. June Iparis
6. FN-2187
7. Khadgar
8. Rey
9. Merrill
10. Jason Lee Scott

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Try Not to Die, Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Sign in 6/6

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Roadblock #1

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Roadblock #2

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Find Anakin!

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OOC