fandomhigh | How To Science Things All Sciencily, Monday

Philomena wandered into class five minutes late without paying attention to the class. In fact, she walked to the window and peered, lost in thought for at least another three minutes, before half-turning and startling.

"Oh," she said, "You're still here."

Had they been here all week? Had she hallucinated them leaving? Perhaps they were time-jumpers.

"I was just caught by the leaves," she explained. "Strange things, aren't they? I keep wondering, how are they up there? And why are they attached to the trees like some strange hand-shaped parasite? Do the trees even know that they are on there, and if so, don't they long for a shave or some kind of... tree doctor to come fix it for them?"

She peered back outside.

"I used to wonder why they changed color in fall, but I found out about that, and it's absolutely disgusting," she said. "There's this stuff inside of them called chlorophiles, and they gnaw on sunlight, like a deranged vagina dentata."

She shivered. "It just ain't right," she muttered. "It just ain't right."

She turned back to the class. "So this is a class about sciencing, so we should probably do like proper science men and get samples," she said. "I want you to go out and get some samples and glue them to a piece of paper, so you can wave 'em around to ward off the others, like a sort of warning. Just be careful, 'cos the leaves have got skeletons, and nothing good ever came from a skeleton you can eat."

After finishing that line of thought, she looked at the class expectantly.

"Well? Off you go."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Like a leaf on the wind.

Rufus Shinra

Peebee

Ahsoka Tano

Gratuity Tucci

Mara Jade

Re: Sign In!

era_two_triangle - 2017-05-16 00:00 (UTC) - Expand

All of her lectures are likely to be like this.

Yes, yes good.

This was great.

This was utter nonsense and Rufus was all for it because it was hilarious.

Well, Ahsoka's bad feeling about this class wasn't going away any time soon.

Mara caught her eye and gave her a "What the kriff was that?" kind of bug-eyed look.

At least the class was kind of bringing them together? Sort of?

Ahsoka raised one hand and did a subtle yet unmistakable version of the 'crazy spacebrain' gesture.

Bonding over unbalanced teachers, yay?

Tip's new theory was that this teacher was a very poorly disguised space alien. She was live-tweeting the class at J.Lo to see if he knew what kind.

He didn't. But now he wanted to know about the leafy tree parasites.

Peebee wasn't even going to pretend she didn't think this was hilarious.

"Wow," she muttered behind her hand, smirking.

... by which we mean 'make a leaf collage to soothe Philomena's more paranoid, murderous impulses'.

Rufus was... making a half-hearted effort to do the assignment.

Mostly he was just wandering around, trying not to look too amused.

Tip took lots of extra time on her leaf collage. It was hard to get the leaves into arrangements that looked like satanic symbology without looking like they were arranged that way.

It was still easier to do that than have them subtly spell "Philomena we're coming for you", though.

Which was what Peebee was trying to do. This was not an ideal medium for that, though.

"What do you think?" she asked, squinting at her own collage, where she'd done her best to use as many chewed up, tattered leaves as she could find. LEAF SKELETONS. "Ominous enough, or does it need work?"

"Oooo, she's gonna hate that," Tip said approvingly. "I wonder if we can find any burned ones."

Re: Go Out And Science!

onefootoutthedoor - 2017-05-15 19:21 (UTC) - Expand

intotheout - 2017-05-15 19:22 (UTC) - Expand

onefootoutthedoor - 2017-05-15 19:35 (UTC) - Expand

intotheout - 2017-05-15 19:45 (UTC) - Expand

onefootoutthedoor - 2017-05-15 20:37 (UTC) - Expand

intotheout - 2017-05-15 20:42 (UTC) - Expand

onefootoutthedoor - 2017-05-15 21:09 (UTC) - Expand

intotheout - 2017-05-15 21:11 (UTC) - Expand

onefootoutthedoor - 2017-05-15 21:16 (UTC) - Expand

intotheout - 2017-05-15 21:20 (UTC) - Expand

onefootoutthedoor - 2017-05-15 21:31 (UTC) - Expand

intotheout - 2017-05-15 21:33 (UTC) - Expand

onefootoutthedoor - 2017-05-15 22:31 (UTC) - Expand

intotheout - 2017-05-15 22:39 (UTC) - Expand

onefootoutthedoor - 2017-05-15 22:57 (UTC) - Expand

intotheout - 2017-05-15 22:58 (UTC) - Expand

onefootoutthedoor - 2017-05-15 23:50 (UTC) - Expand

intotheout - 2017-05-15 23:53 (UTC) - Expand

onefootoutthedoor - 2017-05-16 02:17 (UTC) - Expand

intotheout - 2017-05-16 02:18 (UTC) - Expand

onefootoutthedoor - 2017-05-16 02:21 (UTC) - Expand

intotheout - 2017-05-16 02:25 (UTC) - Expand

onefootoutthedoor - 2017-05-16 02:35 (UTC) - Expand

intotheout - 2017-05-16 02:39 (UTC) - Expand

onefootoutthedoor - 2017-05-16 03:58 (UTC) - Expand

intotheout - 2017-05-16 04:10 (UTC) - Expand

onefootoutthedoor - 2017-05-16 04:35 (UTC) - Expand

intotheout - 2017-05-16 04:38 (UTC) - Expand

onefootoutthedoor - 2017-05-16 04:52 (UTC) - Expand

Peridot was... not entirely certain why she was gathering leaves. If it was anybody but the person who had accused her of having a flaw, she might have taken the lecture more seriously, but with this particular human she felt inclined to discount everything she said out of spite.

... So much spite.

Still and all, here she was, picking up leaves. Yay.