How To Science Things All Sciencily, Monday

[whatisclocks]

Philomena wandered into class five minutes late without paying attention to the class. In fact, she walked to the window and peered, lost in thought for at least another three minutes, before half-turning and startling.

"Oh," she said, "You're still here."

Had they been here all week? Had she hallucinated them leaving? Perhaps they were time-jumpers.

"I was just caught by the leaves," she explained. "Strange things, aren't they? I keep wondering, how are they up there? And why are they attached to the trees like some strange hand-shaped parasite? Do the trees even know that they are on there, and if so, don't they long for a shave or some kind of... tree doctor to come fix it for them?"

She peered back outside.

"I used to wonder why they changed color in fall, but I found out about that, and it's absolutely disgusting," she said. "There's this stuff inside of them called chlorophiles, and they gnaw on sunlight, like a deranged vagina dentata."

She shivered. "It just ain't right," she muttered. "It just ain't right."

She turned back to the class. "So this is a class about sciencing, so we should probably do like proper science men and get samples," she said. "I want you to go out and get some samples and glue them to a piece of paper, so you can wave 'em around to ward off the others, like a sort of warning. Just be careful, 'cos the leaves have got skeletons, and nothing good ever came from a skeleton you can eat."

After finishing that line of thought, she looked at the class expectantly.

"Well? Off you go."

Comments

Re: Go Out And Science!

[intotheout]

Tip took lots of extra time on her leaf collage. It was hard to get the leaves into arrangements that looked like satanic symbology without looking like they were arranged that way.

It was still easier to do that than have them subtly spell "Philomena we're coming for you", though.

Re: Go Out And Science!

[onefootoutthedoor]

Which was what Peebee was trying to do. This was not an ideal medium for that, though.

"What do you think?" she asked, squinting at her own collage, where she'd done her best to use as many chewed up, tattered leaves as she could find. LEAF SKELETONS. "Ominous enough, or does it need work?"

Re: Go Out And Science!

[intotheout]

"Oooo, she's gonna hate that," Tip said approvingly. "I wonder if we can find any burned ones."

Re: Go Out And Science!

[onefootoutthedoor]

"Probably," Peebee said, and tapped her finger against her lips. "No one said we couldn't burn them ourselves if we had to, either./"

Re: Go Out And Science!

[intotheout]

"I like the way you think," Tip said. "I'm Gratuity, by the way. Since we never got around to introductions last week."

Re: Go Out And Science!

[onefootoutthedoor]

"I'm actually fine with the lack of introductions. Name, class, incredibly bland backstory blurb, snoooooooooooze. But, eh." She shrugged. "Peebee. That's my name, or good enough, anyway."

Re: Go Out And Science!

[intotheout]

"Sounds like you need more classmates with interesting lives," Tip said. "Or a better appreciation for early semester naps."

Re: Go Out And Science!

[onefootoutthedoor]

"Naps? Pfft, no, that's even more boring. I just -- introductions are so routine, you know? I mean, do you really learn anything about people that way?"

That the point of introductions might literally just be the exchanging of basic information didn't seem to matter to Peebee, who was trying to artistically shred a couple more leaves.

Re: Go Out And Science!

[intotheout]

"Their names," Tip said. "What class they're in, maybe if you have a shared interest. . . ." She shrugged. "I'm pretty sure no one actually expects to learn anything deep and meaningful about each other on the first day of a class."

Re: Go Out And Science!

[onefootoutthedoor]

"Oh. That's . . . true, I guess." Peebee blinked. "Oh well, that bit's done with anyway."

She held her collage up and turned it one way, then the other. "I think what this piece might be missing is actually a deranged vagina dentata. Rendered artistically."

Peebee. No.

Re: Go Out And Science!

[intotheout]

". . . Yes." What? Tip wanted to see what that would look like. "You need some spiky edged leaves. Or pine needles!"

Re: Go Out And Science!

[onefootoutthedoor]

"And a yellow flower in the middle to be the sun?"

This might spiral out past the scale of a collage soon.

Re: Go Out And Science!

[intotheout]

"A dandelion," Tip decided. "That even looks like it has rays."

Re: Go Out And Science!

[onefootoutthedoor]

"Oh, good idea." She'd have to figure out what they looked like, but nobody had to know that yet! "And the rays can just sort of segue into the spikes, so it's subtly ominous. Yes."

Re: Go Out And Science!

[intotheout]

"If she asks about it, you should tell her you have no idea how it got there. The leaf skeletons must have done it themselves."

Re: Go Out And Science!

[onefootoutthedoor]

Peebee let out a long, low chuckle that was at the far end of mischievous but stopped short of being evil.

"Exactly what I was thinking. You, I like."

Re: Go Out And Science!

[intotheout]

"Gosh, thanks." It didn't come out quite as sarcastic as Tip had intended. She kinda liked Peebee back. "So, are you disappointed by your science education here at Fandom, or is this about what you'd expected?"

Re: Go Out And Science!

[onefootoutthedoor]

"Eh." Peebee shrugged. "I didn't know what to expect in the first place. Harder to be disappointed that way, you know? It's an hour of entertainment, and I have plenty of time for independent study the rest of the week. That's more of a challenge, anyway."

Re: Go Out And Science!

[intotheout]

"You're only taking one class?" And Tip thought her workload was light.

Re: Go Out And Science!

[onefootoutthedoor]

"What? Oh, no! I've got other classes," Peebee said quickly. "More of an actual academic exercise than this, though. Or exercise, anyway, for the defense class. That still leaves me with a lot of time the rest of the week, though."

Re: Go Out And Science!

[intotheout]

Tip nodded. "Yeah, the academics at this school are pretty . . . low key. My mom keeps saying 'you get out of school what you put into it', but I think that's just her trying to tell me to sign up for correspondence courses."

Re: Go Out And Science!

[onefootoutthedoor]

"I'm never going to get everything I want out of school," Peebee said, because she honestly just wanted to learn all the things ever, "and I'm okay with that. I'm here for the experience, mostly. Didn't even really look at the course catalog all that closely before I signed up."

She arranged a couple more leaves on her collage.

"Did you sign up for correspondence courses?"

Re: Go Out And Science!

[intotheout]

"Not yet," Tip admitted. "I've always learned more outside of a classroom than in it."

It didn't help that her world's education system was deeply fucked.

Re: Go Out And Science!

[onefootoutthedoor]

Yeah, that would definitely put a crimp in things.

"More of a hands-on person, huh?" asked Peebee. "I get it. Sometimes that's really the only way to go, jumping right into the deep end."

Re: Go Out And Science!

[intotheout]

"Cuts way down on the stupid people trying to tell you they know better than you do."