Library, Monday

[intotheout]

J.Lo had sent Tip a list of suggested New Year's resolutions. Every fifth item on the list was "call your friend J.Lo more often".

So she was reading a low-key space opera full of lesbians instead.

[Open!]

Comments

[intotheout]

Tip nodded. At least that was post-slavery. Not that really helped much by way of people not being racist. "Right, sooooo. . . ." She wracked her brain for things that had happened in the late 19th century other than, you know, westerns and things. Her education growing up was a bit spotty between wars. "I mean, that's a lot of years to cover. Is there any subject in particular you want to read up on?"

Artfully dodged, Tip. Well done.

[wefindintheashes]

He could think of a lot of things he wanted to learn about, but nothing he could rightly put into words.

"If I knew, I'd have more of an idea of what I'd missed," he replied kindly. "What do you think I should know about? A student mentioned an 'orange fascist?'"

He said the last word like it was a foreign language.

[intotheout]

The face Tip made was extremely expressive. "One good thing about being from a world that gotten invaded by aliens," she said. "We got our fill of idiots in charge before this year's election." She blinked. "Last year's." Hurray for 2017. "You could start with early 20th century Europe if you want to know more about fascism in general. I think that's the last time it was a big thing. So, like, Mussolini, the Weimar Republic, the Spanish Civil War, and World War II, of course."

Tip, honey. He had probably not heard of any of those. Slow down.

"Have you tried Wikipedia?"

[wefindintheashes]

He just smiled and nodded along like he was completely able to process that.

"Is that a book?"

[intotheout]

Tip blinked. Right. Old guy.

"Not really. Has anyone shown you the internet yet?"

[wefindintheashes]

Super old.

"I'd venture that it is not a book and that, unfortunately, would be where my expertise on the matter comes to an end."

[intotheout]

This would be going better if the US had a better public education system.

". . . What's the fastest way to get information to someone where you're from? Someone far away?"

[wefindintheashes]

"A telegraph, I suppose. If your intended recipient did not live too far from the lines," Goody replied. Because telephones had only just shown up and in no way were there any out by him.

[intotheout]

"Right. Um." Tip suddenly felt a bit more sympathy for J.Lo trying to explain Boov tech to her. "So the internet's kind of like a really big global telegraph line. Only not in code. And with pictures. And even faster. And on all the time."

So basically nothing at all like a telegraph line.

[wefindintheashes]

Nothing at all, yes.

"...why yes, quite like a telegraph line," Goody replied like he was trying very hard not to laugh.

[intotheout]

Hey, you try explaining the internet to someone who'd never watched TV.

"Here, I'll show you on my phone." Tip pulled out her smartphone and held it up so he could see it, glowing magic future screen and all. ". . . Have telephones been invented when you're from?"

[wefindintheashes]

"Not one that I have seen in person," he replied, tilting his head at the little rectangle in her hands. "Well, hot damn--pardon my language, miss--but that looks like a magic show."

[intotheout]

Tip couldn't help but smile broadly at that "pardon my language" bit. She'd only just broken the habit of apologizing for cursing herself. "I guess it must," she said. "Technology's really advanced a lot in the last hundred and fifty years. Phones where you're from only transmit voices. Now we can use them to transmit voice, pictures, text. . . . I guess you wouldn't know what video is, but -- we'll get back to that." While she tried to think of a YouTube video to show him that wouldn't just make his old-timey head explode. "What's your favorite book?"

[wefindintheashes]

"Were I a good Christian man, I would say the bible," Good replied, watching with awe. "But I always had a fondness for the classics. Aeneid? Or perhaps Don Juan?"

You pretentious bastard, Goody.

[intotheout]

"I know how to spell 'Don Juan', so we'll go with that," Tip said. She called up Google and typed 'don juan book' into the search bar. "Let's see, there's a link to where you can buy the book and have it shipped to you, a couple wiki entries on it -- that's basically the internet's encyclopedia -- some pages full of quotes from it, some reviews, aaaaaaand. . . ." Project Gutenberg had to be on here somewhere, right? No way was this book not in the public domain. "Here we go." She turned the phone to face him again. "The whole text of the book. Oh hey, with pictures!"

[wefindintheashes]

"Well, I'll be. Anyone can do this?" he asked, reaching for the screen before remembering his manners again.

[intotheout]

"Sure. I mean, you need a device that connects to the internet, and I guess there's a little bit of a learning curve for how to search for things properly. But once you have those, you can look up and find almost anything. Like -- like you have your own library in your pocket. You just, you know, might need to learn to be your own librarian a little, too."

She hesitated, then set her phone down on the counter where he could reach it. If she kept a close eye on him, he probably wouldn't be able to break it. "You scroll -- move up and down through the text with your finger, like this." She demonstrated, then slid it a little closer to him, so he could try.

[wefindintheashes]

"You have my thanks, cher," he replied, looking a little gleeful when it worked for him as well. "Where are my manners. My name is Goodnight and it is a genuine pleasure to make your acquaintance."

[intotheout]

Tip never felt less silly in her life introducing herself by her given name than she did in Fandom. "I'm Gratuity. Nice to meet you, sir."

[wefindintheashes]

"I see we come from similar naming conventions," he teased with a good-natured smile. "Goody, please. Sir is far too serious."

[intotheout]

"I'll try," Tip said. "But I promise nothing. How'd you end up coming to Fandom? If you don't mind my asking."

[wefindintheashes]

"Well," he said, taking a breath as he handing her the phone back lest he break it on accident. "By accident if I am to be honest. I found myself and my horse here when last I recall, I was in California."

Getting shot at.

"An associate of mine apparently found himself in very similar circumstances mere days prior."

Which was strange because Goody died first.

[intotheout]

"Faraday," Tip guessed, barely restraining a roll of her eyes. "Yeah, I met him, too."

[wefindintheashes]

Goody just grinned at that. "Were you the young lady who tore into him?"

[intotheout]

Tip narrowed her eyes and nodded. "I know you all are from a million years ago," she said. "But I don't have time for that old timey racist nonsense. Bad enough we're going to get it from that fascist your student mentioned."

[wefindintheashes]

"Now, now," he said, holding his hands up in surrender. "I'm not saying you shouldn't have. Mr. Faraday's manners are a touch... lacking."

Putting it mildly.

"He informed me that the term was no longer considered fit for polite company."

[intotheout]

"It's not the worst one he could have used," Tip allowed. "And there is still a pretty big national organization that uses it in the title. But yeah -- it mostly just reminds people that you all used to think people like me only count as three-fifths of a person."

[wefindintheashes]

Well, Goody did look suitably shamed by that reminder. Because three-fifths was being rather generous, historically speaking.

"Then, perhaps, it would do us some good to have that topic added to the list of things I ought to read up on."

[intotheout]

"The Civil Rights Movement," Tip told him. "Most books on that should give you a background of racial politics in the states leading up to it, too. Jim Crow, and all that. I hear the Smithsonian in most worlds recently opened a museum about it in DC that's supposed to be really good, if you'd rather learn that way."

[wefindintheashes]

The closest Goody got to DC before now had been in battle, so maybe that wasn't the best idea.

"Civil Rights movement," he repeated with a nod. "Would you be able to get me anything on Korea as well?"

Totally normal request.

[intotheout]

"North Korea or Republic of?" Tip. "Right, that happened in like the '50s, didn't it. We probably have some general historical overviews around here somewhere."

[wefindintheashes]

"My thanks once again," he said with a smile. "But I will need to look into finding one of those phones of yours for myself."

So he could confuse Siri with his accent.

[intotheout]

Eh, Siri deserved it.

"I bet you can pick one up on the island somewhere. They're a little pricey, though. Even in 2017 dollars."

[wefindintheashes]

"Oh, it's all a lot pricey if you ask me." Maybe he could convince Faraday to use the money from his shop on one...

"Until then, I suppose I will be spending time here. What a hardship it is to be surrounded by books."

[intotheout]

"It's pretty cool," Tip agreed. "They haven't even done anything super weird at me yet, like the Post Office does sometimes."

[wefindintheashes]

"Beg pardon?" Goody just wanted things to be normal for once, okay? But nooooo. He had to end up on the craziest island possible.

[intotheout]

"Yeah. In case you hadn't noticed, you ended up in Crazy Town."

[wefindintheashes]

"You know, I had almost hoped it was just something about the future."

So much drinking in his immediate future.