Didi (Death of the Endless) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
living_endless) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2015-10-09 12:47 pm
living_endless) wrote in fandomhigh2015-10-09 12:47 pm
Entry tags:
Philosophy of Loss, Friday, Period 2
"Hi, people," Didi said easily, once the students were gathered. "This week I wanted to talk about the Kübler-Ross model of grief. If that doesn't ring a bell, I bet it will once I get a little more into it.
"Now, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was a Swiss psychiatrist, and in 1969 she wrote a book called 'On Death and Dying' that was inspired by her work with terminally ill patients. And Kübler-Ross's most famous theory is that people who lose a loved one go through five stages -- denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance."
"Denial is when you refuse to believe that whatever's happened is real. You might, for example, insist that the dead person is a case of mistaken identity. Anger is 'why me? It's not fair. Whose fault is this?'. It's a time of a lot of frustration, and a lot of lashing out at anybody and everybody convenient. Bargaining is trying to negotiate -- 'I'll go to church every week if you just bring my child back to life,' for example. Depression is, well, depression. You're sad, everything seems like too much effort, you may not even want to get out of bed. And all of those things are totally normal and natural, and they all lead up to the last stage -- acceptance. Which is where the grieving person stops, takes a breath, and says, 'I'm sad, but it'll be okay.'" She paused there, spreading her hands in a gesture of acceptance, before smiling and letting them fall.
"Now, a lot of you might be thinking that sounds too easy, and it does. Research has shown the model's not particularly reliable, for one thing. Even Dr. Kübler-Ross herself admitted that the stages might come in any order, that some people felt other emotions, and that not everyone is going to feel all five."
"But it's still interesting because of how it's seeped into the culture. You see jokes about the five stages on sitcoms. People need to be told not to see themselves as broken if their grief doesn't follow the pattern."
"So my question for you today is, are the five stages something we should talk about? Or should we forget about it and find a new model? I'm curious what you think."
"Now, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was a Swiss psychiatrist, and in 1969 she wrote a book called 'On Death and Dying' that was inspired by her work with terminally ill patients. And Kübler-Ross's most famous theory is that people who lose a loved one go through five stages -- denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance."
"Denial is when you refuse to believe that whatever's happened is real. You might, for example, insist that the dead person is a case of mistaken identity. Anger is 'why me? It's not fair. Whose fault is this?'. It's a time of a lot of frustration, and a lot of lashing out at anybody and everybody convenient. Bargaining is trying to negotiate -- 'I'll go to church every week if you just bring my child back to life,' for example. Depression is, well, depression. You're sad, everything seems like too much effort, you may not even want to get out of bed. And all of those things are totally normal and natural, and they all lead up to the last stage -- acceptance. Which is where the grieving person stops, takes a breath, and says, 'I'm sad, but it'll be okay.'" She paused there, spreading her hands in a gesture of acceptance, before smiling and letting them fall.
"Now, a lot of you might be thinking that sounds too easy, and it does. Research has shown the model's not particularly reliable, for one thing. Even Dr. Kübler-Ross herself admitted that the stages might come in any order, that some people felt other emotions, and that not everyone is going to feel all five."
"But it's still interesting because of how it's seeped into the culture. You see jokes about the five stages on sitcoms. People need to be told not to see themselves as broken if their grief doesn't follow the pattern."
"So my question for you today is, are the five stages something we should talk about? Or should we forget about it and find a new model? I'm curious what you think."
Re: Discussion [10/09]
She murmured that a few more times under her breath, cementing that into her mind before smiling faintly.
"That's... it's good to know."