fandomhigh | Library, Saturday

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Library, Saturday

When the portal had opened up on the way to Zhahar's work, the sisters hadn't even paused to discuss it. Zhahar was diving through as Zeela and Sholeh cheered inside her head, Zeela effortlessly taking the body as they rolled out onto the warm expanse of Fandom lawn. As soon as she ascertained that there was no danger (always a possibility with Fandom), she'd given the body to Sholeh who was practically vibrating with excitement. There was really only one place for Sholeh to go. The library had been her favorite place in Fandom, even more 'hers' than their dorm room had been. It just felt right to head back there.

And when the books clustered around her and greeted her like an old friend, she knew she'd made the right choice.

Oh, it felt so lovely to be back!

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Once around, and twice. Three times. Maybe four. Let's see if Evan could wrap his arms around her four times, because he was never letting go, now, ever. Ever.

"More than there are books in the multiverse," he agreed, and then he was leaning forward to pepper her face with kisses, too, because Sholeh. Sholeh, who he had missed so much it hurt, who he wasn't whole without. That very same Sholeh. Right here, in his arms. "I might not let go, you know. Now that we're like this again. I might just hold on forever."

And ever and ever and...

"Don't," Sholeh whispered, burying her face in his neck. "Don't let go and then I won't have to, either."

She stayed there a moment, clinging to him, breathing him in, before pulling away, just slightly. Enough to look him in his eyes, to take a deep breath, and say, "This is probably wrong and unfair of me to say. At least like this. Now. Here. But if I don't say it now, I might never get the chance."

She licked her lips and blurted out, "Evan, I love you. Still. I loved you since before I left. I was just too scared to say it when I should have. And it may not change anything--I don't know if it can change anything. But I couldn't not tell you again when I had the chance. Because I love you. And being apart for years hasn't changed that. So...so I wanted you to know."

By the time she finished, she was panting like she'd run a full marathon, terrified and elated both.

If... if Sholeh needed Evan, he would be right here, staring at her with wide-eyes, forgetting how to breathe. Forgetting how to breathe and trying to figure out how in the world to react to that and maybe kind of dancing on air. A bit. Figuratively.

He'd do so more literally later, though. Probably.

"I. I. I... Oh. Oh, Sholeh, I-" Words were super hard. "I love you too. I still do. I mean, I haven't stopped, I couldn't. You... you were my family and I've missed you so much it hurts and... and..."

Clinging again. For dear life. Clinging and leaning in and could he kiss her again? He needed to be kissing her. He needed to be kissing her a lot.

Kissing was probably the only thing that could make this better. So, yes, kissing. Kissing was allowed. Kissing a lot was encouraged. The more kissing the better, especially if it was the kind of kissing that could happen with more clinging and a few years as well.

"This wasn't what I was expecting when we fell through that portal," Sholeh said, when she finally had to pull away from kissing to breathe. Stupid breathing. "This is a million, billion times better."

Breathing was so, so dumb. But Evan kind of needed to do it too, so he'd allow it.

"I was kind of expecting... you know... Fandom. It's usually Fandom," he admitted. "But this is way better than the Fandom usual. Wow. I ... Wow. Can this weekend go on forever? Please?"

"Do you think we could find a way to make that happen?" Sholeh asked. "Because I'd love it if we could."

Evan and Yeul and her sisters all together again? Forever? In the place where she'd been the happiest in her life? Why wouldn't she.

She reached for his hand, somewhere in the miles and tangles of noodle arms there, looking for one more way to hold onto him.

"One thing I realized, acting as Tryadnea's anchor in Vision? You're my anchor. You keep me whole and tethered."

Hey, he could reach those noodles around a little bit more so that he could hold her hand. He was flexible that way!

... Ridiculously flexible.

"And you were mine," Evan breathed, holding on tight as Old Lace curled up around their feet. There was no going anywhere for either of them, now. "I... I wish I could have gone with you, or you could have stayed, or... or something. I wish there had been something"

"I wish those things, too," Sholeh said. "Losing you--I think that's what it must feel like to become a two-face. Where someone is so much a part of you that there's just emptiness where they used to be."

=This is all well and good--Hey! Evan! Can you hear me yet? I know you have the ability!--but instead of standing here talking about what you wish you'd done, let's start talking about what you can do, huh? You're both here. Make some damn plans.=

"Uhh..." Sholeh blinked up at Evan. "Zeela wants to know if you can hear her? She says you're supposed to be able to?"

"Able to hear her?" See Evan. See Evan look slightly perplexed. "I, um... Why? What does she want me to be hearing?"

He hadn't done that much growing yet, Zee. Sadly. Having some telepathy to go with all of those noodles would have been super helpful, though.

=Ugh, never mind.= Zeela didn't have eyes but she was rolling them. =It's not important. Tell him what I said. Unless you want me using the voice to say it instead.=

::That's okay!:: Sholeh said quickly. Because Zeela didn't need to do that. At all. Just, in general.

"She's suggesting we talk about what we should do, not what we wish we could. We can't stop time. Or make the weekend last forever. But maybe we could do something?" Right now, honestly, Sholeh was content to just be, wrapped up (repeatedly) in his arms, with kisses. Especially if the answer was 'There's nothing we can do.' "We could think about it, maybe? That could be a thing we did?"

While hugging and kissing and explaining just what they meant to one another.

The hugging and kissing were the best parts, really. Evan was so okay with doing that. And maybe if she wanted to tell him she loved him again...

"Well..." He bit his lip for a few seconds, thinking. "What... what are our options?"

Did they have those?

"I don't think staying here's an option," Sholeh said, sadly. "But if it were, I'd totally stay. Because I love it here. And I love you."

She was quiet for a moment, eyes focusing inwards. "Zhari and Zee say that if we come up with something suitable, they're in."

"But there's maybe...going home with you? Or going home with us?" She chewed on her bottom lip. "I don't know if either of those is a good idea."

Depressing options. But she'd said she loved him again!

That part was the great part!

"I don't know that 'home with me' is a great idea," Evan admitted, doing a little squirm. "My home is... um..."

The sort of place where people stole other people's brains to get their mutant powers, stuff like that.

"Wouldn't you... get in trouble, if I were to go with you...?"

And by 'get in trouble,' Evan meant, more, 'get your sisters killed.' Which didn't actually seem like a supergreat option.

"Only if we went back to Tryadnea," Sholeh said quietly. "We--we have a place to live in Vision. I go to school, Zhari has a job. It's not a big place and it's not in the best neighborhoods, but it's a place."

She swallowed. "The only problem is that people tend to notice people who are...different. Call them names. Accuse them of being demons. Hurt them, sometimes."

'Kill them' went unsaid, but not unheard.

"We're already different. But we can hide it. You're a different that can't be hidden--not without hiding you. You and Old Lace both. It would be risky."

"And my being different might... people might notice, if you and I..."

Oh, this hurt his heart. It hurt his heart in ways Evan hadn't anticipated, while he was nerving himself up to coming into the library today.

"If they were to go back to you... I mean..."

Crap.

"I don't want to put you in danger," he said, softly. "There it would be just me, but I stand out. In my world, it's... everyone like me. All in the same building, with a big X on it like a crosshair so everyone who wants us dead knows where to point."

The X was probably figurative.

Was it? Was it really?

"And even if we went off in your world, we have the same problem as mine. We're different. All of us are different," Sholeh said firmly, bringing him into the circle with her sisters. "There's a reason a lot of us get caught. It may take longer, but we can't hide who we are forever. We make mistakes, we slip up."

Her smile was bitter and sad around the edges. "We're both alike. If we stay by ourselves in either world, we become targets. But if we go to where there are more like us, then we're just as much in danger. You from the outside you community, us from within."

"There's... there's really no winning, is there?"

Evan's insides twisted a little. Old Lace gave a sad little 'murrrr' sound.

"But we have time to figure it out. A couple of days, at least. We can still make this work."

"We'll find a way," Sholeh agreed softly, pressing another kiss to his cheek. "We will. Because we have to."

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