fandomhigh | Powers, Identity, and The World; Embracing the Real You

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powers and identity

Powers, Identity, and The World; Embracing the Real You - Friday, Period One

//Right. So... We don't have much of a discussion prepared for today,// Jono admitted, looking a touch sheepish. //This semester apparently hasn't been much good for that. But we haven't cashed in our 'movie day' get out of jail free card yet, either, so I found an old episode of the Y-People cartoon to show, and then we can discuss it afterward. How you felt about the situation of the young girl, your opinion on the animation, whatever you wish. It's topical, at least.//

He shrugged his shoulders, and then slid a Y-People VHS into an old VCR, because that was just how the 90s rolled, okay?

[Open!]

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//Bah. Heroes are taken seriously based on the good that they do, not the powers they have or the costumes they wear,// Jono replied. //I've had teammates before with powers like prehensile skin, and lord, give me an afternoon and I can take you through the greatest hits of the most ridiculous uniforms the X-Men and New Warriors had me wearing. You'd laugh yourself sick.//

"Maybe if there's a whole team wearing stupid outfits?" Kathy said. "Looking stupid in a group is one thing. But when someone drops in front of you trailing ribbons and rainbows, believe me, no one's first thought is 'I wonder how much good she's done.' I mean, part of that is why I like wearing them? It only helps me when the people I'm up against underestimate me because I--" She soured. "--Look like I'm one unicorn short of a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper, but it does work against me when I need to make people listen up quick."

Jono just raised an eyebrow.

And then pulled out his phone.

And turned it on.

And flicked through the photos.

And then handed it over to her.

//I maintain that if it works for you, fine. Dress however the hell you like. It's the work you do as a hero that matters in the eyes of the heroes around you, let them judge you by your merits. And if they won't, then they're not worth the time it takes to worry about it.//

Kathy had so many questions. So, so many. Like...why was he blue? And huge? And wearing a kilt? And arm warmers.

"Uhhh...Why--?"

Hopefully that encompassed all of them.

//Lost a bet with a teammate.//

That answered at least two of those questions, anyway.

//They still looked to me as de facto leader when a handful of us were separated from the one who actually was in charge and left for dead, though.//

"But rainbows aside, I'm still the least impressive person on the team," Kathy pointed out. "The only kid, the only girl, the one with the least impressive powers. I don't know if they see me as being on their level. Heck, I don't know if I even see my on their level. So seeing them all listening to me in spite of that? I just ate it up."

//I'm going to stop you right there,// Jono said again, and again he was going through the pictures on his phone.

Ah, there.

//Jubilee.//

It had been the nineties. For the record.

//Smallest, youngest. Not the only girl, granted, but her powerset involved making cute little fireworks. And after we all lost our powers, she was the one who stepped up to lead a team of superheroes. Just think about that for a moment. She never had the most impressive ability to start with. And then, without her powers at all, she was leading superheroes. Kicking ass and chewing bubblegum, half the size of everyone on her team, and saving bloody lives in yellow and pink.//

So, go on and tell him some more about how you have no potential because you're a tiny girl with a cute costume and bouncing powers, Kathy. Because Jono was going to call bullshit.

"How much did anybody listen to her when they all did have superpowers?" Kathy asked. "Not when you were all on a level-ish playing field, but before that?"

Maybe one of the reasons Jubilee stepped up with no one else did was because she was already used to not relying on her powers, so she wasn't as lost without them.

"And...it's not so much that I'm denying my potential? It was the mirror showing me everyone else recognizing it, too."

Okay, now Jono found himself wanting to throttle her a little. Which, again, he imagined plenty of people wanted to do with him at that age, too.

Sigh.

At least he was good at tamping things like that down so far nobody could see them.

//Alright, let's say for argument's sake that you're right. That your fellow heroes look down on you for whatever reason. You're short, you're cute, you bounce, you're a girl, fine.// He shrugged. //How long have you been at this? Have you worked with them often? Are they heroes in Baltimore that you're concerned about?//

He tilted his head.

//Or do you work solo?//

"I'm not saying they do look down on me!" Kathy said, getting frustrated at herself for her inability to make her point more clearly. "I'm just saying that they have every reason not to take me seriously." She felt her voice struggling to rise and reined it in, rubbing her thumb in small circles against her palm to help keep her tone appropriate for speaking to an adult.

"I'm sorry," she said, a few slow breaths later. "I was getting upset and out of line. My question about how much anybody listened to your friend was tangential to my main point. I certainly don't think any of the heroes I know in LA--they're all in LA, the only heroes in Baltimore I know of are from the island--sit around and laugh at me or anything. I'm just saying, I know full well I don't strike anyone as a natural leader or anything. There are a bunch of reasons why I can expect them not to take me seriously. The mirror showed a me that rose above all of those reasons and commanded respect anyway. That was...heady. Exciting. Unexpected."

//Okay...// Jono took a moment to lean his head back and stare up at the ceiling. Hooboy. //And I'm saying, I know exactly what that feels like. I know a few people who do. Hell, I was the X-Men's favourite seat-warmer for months before I quit the team and took up teaching for a while, instead. And it's possible to rise above that. It's possible for you to rise above that. You don't need a mirror to show you that you can, you just need to stop being so bloody hard on yourself and work toward it.//

"I'm trying," Kathy said, her hands falling back into her lap now that she was no longer in danger of snapping at Mr. Starsmore. "I'm just not sure how."

//Be patient with yourself,// Jono replied, gently. //Be kind to yourself. Take a few moments every day to recognize what you have accomplished. Don't let yourself get swept up in what you haven't. You have the rest of your life ahead of you, Kathy. Sit back, decide what it is you want to make of it, and then take every opportunity you have to become exactly that.//

He shrugged.

//Don't give up. Trust me, giving up is the worst thing you can do, even when it looks dire. Even when the world is crumbling around you. And if you feel like you can't stand on your own anymore, that's fine. You're not alone. You don't have to shoulder all of that weight by yourself.//

"It sounds so easy when you say it like that," Kathy said ruefully, understanding that Mr. Starsmore knew how very much it was not. "I feel like it's not something I should have to struggle so hard with."

//It's not something anyone should have to struggle with,// Jono replied, shaking his head. //But just think how bloody triumphant you'll be once you learn to overcome it.//

...

//I'm still working on it myself, half the time,// he added, gently. //It does help to surround yourself with people who can see the best in you better than you can. The ones who care will be there to remind you when you need the reminder, and thump you a good one when you need one of those, too.//

"For the first time ever, I think I've got people like that," Kathy said. "Though...I owe one of them an apology like this one."

Funny how someone who apologized like she breathed could have such a hard time doing so when it really counted.

And then there was Jono on the other end of the spectrum. More prone to scathing snark than apologies, unless an apology was actually due. He knew the over-apologetic sort well, though. Decided to maybe not point out that all of those sorrys were worth nothing if the sincere, deserved apologies never came.

Not yet, anyway.

//If that person is one of those people, then yes, you absolutely should. For both your sakes,// he replied. //Hell, even if they aren't. You can tear yourself apart for your own minor, self-perceived shortcomings until the end of days, and all you'll do is hold yourself back. But if you've actually, truly hurt somebody else, you own that mistake. You make it right. Running from that responsibility in shame doesn't solve anything, it just leaves too many troubles unresolved and too many people hurt for no good reason.//

Sorry, Kathy, but if you hurt that other person the way you'd hurt him, and that other person was somebody who had only ever shown you kindness and support, then you had a lot of ass-kissing to do, at this point.

She was very well aware of that, yes. Of all of that, really. Of how many apologies she owed, of how much butt-kissing was needed, of how useless most of her apologies were. They were a habit, reinforcing her lower social position and general submission.

"I know," she said. "That's why I'm here apologizing to you. Owning my mistakes."

//Good, then,// Jono replied, nodding faintly. //I imagine I was the easy one, hm?//

Just because he gave out his apologies sparingly didn't mean he didn't understand how much easier it was to do so when one had nothing to lose.

Kathy nodded. "At the absolute worst, I'd fail this class and never be able to take a class with you or Dr. Lecter again," she said, nervously twisting her hands at the idea of failing a class.

Which just went to show how important Minako was to her, when the idea of losing her was worse than failure.

"But you're not my friend. And while losing your respect hurts, it's not the same as losing one of the few really good friends I ever had."

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Powers, Identity, and The World; Embracing the Real You - Friday, Period One

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