fandomhigh | Faculty Meeting (Friday after classes)

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Faculty Meeting (Friday after classes)

After the student council cleared out, Zoe got the council room set up for yet another meeting, hoping all the teachers had gotten her ~~handwavey~~ email. Sure, classes had only been in session for a week, but she figured it was a good idea to check the new teachers for shell shock early. There were warm food and drinks set out (not the leftovers from the student council... at least, not totally) but nothing alcoholic. If people wanted to go that route, they would have to bring their own this time.

"Hello there, come on in and have a seat if you'd like," she said. "I thought it might be good for everyone to have a chance to get together without students around, and be inside where it's warm. I hope everyone's had a good first week. If you haven't, well, now you have a room full of people to vent to." It was the little things that helped make this job better.

[Open to all staff and OCD free!]

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He had a driver's license! Didn't that count?

"Boring picture," Parker pronounced, studying the original across the room, and shaking her head.

Not for much, apparently!

Well, at least it wasn't outright hideous. When faced with the Maryland DMV, there was only so much even Hannibal could do.

"Nice leather, though."

The wallet itself was pretty luxe all on its own!

Parker looked over to the guy who belonged to the wallet, and tossed off an unconcerned wave.

Hannibal caught her eye, nodded back at the wave, and sighed when he saw what she was holding.

Still, he stepped across the room to meet her; she was, after all, a fellow teacher. "Miss Parker. I would introduce myself, but I believe you know who I am." He nodded at his wallet. "Did you have any questions? If you're finished, I should like it back."

"Why do you not have any family pictures? Do you not have a family?"

Normal people carried those. At least, about 95% of the time.

"Are you a spy?"

That would be the other reason.

"And it's not 'miss.' Just Parker. Dr. Lecter."

"Parker, then." Hannibal nodded. "And I'm not a spy, but no - I haven't much family these days, and haven't spoken in some time with the family I do have." He shrugged. "And I don't keep many photographs anyway. How are you enjoying the school so far?"

"The students are cool." Especially the ones who jumped and happy to do it. And that girl with the hair! "Not sure about the rest. They won't let me pay the students." She was not going to forget that any time soon. "What kind of doctor are you?"

The family question was allowed to die right there. Unless you asked about hers, Doctor. Then all bets were off.

He would save that for later; it could definitely die for now.

"A psychiatrist and a trauma surgeon," Hannibal answered. "I also have a PhD." He nodded at his wallet, which she still had. "I should have some business cards in there, if you'd like one. I haven't paid my students - except for one who waters my plants - but I find they generally are happy to be bribed with food and trips off the island."

Edited 2015-01-11 01:05 (UTC)

"FOOD." See, that was two for her, Eliot! Mauahahah. The shrink comment got him a look of qualified distrust though. She offered him the wallet back, sure that Eliot had already mentioned her. He did that. "What kind of psychiatrist?"

You weren't going to get her to look at ink blots, Lecter. THEY LOOKED LIKE INK BLOTS. It was a stupid game.

Hannibal took it with a nod and tucked it back in his pocket. "I've had a general counseling practice for a number of years. My doctoral research focused on social exclusion. I've also done some profiling for the FBI. I don't particularly subscribe to any one school of psychotherapy; I prefer to keep an open mind."

He smiled. "And when you teach cooking, the food is rather a given, but I enjoy spoiling them. It gives them a reason to keep coming."

Sorry not sorry, Eliot!

"You're not evil?"

Look, some questions had to be asked. So as not to confuse the doctor, Parker added, "I've met some evil shrinks. I didn't like them."

She grinned at the food comment, though. "I knew I was right!" There would be Jolly Ranchers and Cheetos for all on Tuesday!

Hannibal made a moue of distaste. "There are some unscrupulous people in every profession. Unfortunately, when a psychiatrist uses their position for ill, the consequences can be dire. I'm sorry you've had to deal with them."

He raised an eyebrow politely. "Right about what?"

"Thank you." That was a very nice apology on behalf of your profession, Dr. Lecter.

"That giving the kids treats is a good way to motivate them! Pinkie agrees with us too."

It was the least he could do ~~to keep from answering her question~~!

"It is." Hannibal nodded. "Ideally, of course, they would motivate themselves, but many of them aren't there yet, and you can hardly teach them if they don't attend." He smiled. "I've even had students take the same exact class twice. I don't think it's for the subject matter."

"HA." Parker was gleeful. "Good. I'm using you in the argument."

She did notice you didn't answer that question, but many people didn't... but if she ever finds out you're evil, Dr. Lecter, she's going to push you off a cliff without a cord. And not worry about it for a heartbeat.

"Eliot was going on about tests. Seriously?"

Well, Hannibal didn't consider himself evil! But he knew some people had different definitions, yes. And while he might not want to be pushed off a cliff, he would appreciate the lack of guilt or worry; it was important to own your decisions.

"Tests can also be a motivator," he acknowledged, "but they chiefly seem to work by terrifying the students into compliance. I prefer a more positive approach. Besides," he said, "I would expect Eliot to be happy to have a chance to cook for an appreciative audience."

Okay, so sometimes being evil was fun.

Parker was good at that! that squiggly good/evil line sometimes tripped her up, but she knew all about taking responsibility!

"I am so using that to get him to make some for another class. Maybe ooooooo I have an idea! The buffet table, YES."

No, no one expects you to follow that, Hannibal.

Yeah, he was doing fairly well, but there was a limit. "The buffet table?" he prompted.

And good and evil could just be so fluid!

Mostly it was the eating people. If they're dead, why not give them the funeral they'd like? They're dead.

"That's how we broke-- ahem. Defeated a puzzle once. Using stuff from a buffet table." Parker looked very pleased with herself. "And if I let him make all the food, or tell him he has to, then he can't complain that we did it because it's for the assignment!"

Hopefully you followed that. It doesn't get much clearer. Well, she did steal your wallet, you probably get the idea.

They could still have perfectly good funerals! Most of them could even be open casket, if they wanted - it wasn't as though he took very visible parts most of the time.

And yes, he definitely could get the idea. "I look forward to hearing all about your class on the radio." If only to hear about Eliot's reaction. "Someone has warned you about the squirrels, haven't they?"

Parker's expression immediately got-- squirrelly. "What about the squirrels?"

"They gather notes for the island's radio station," Hannibal told her. "Anything you do may be reported on to everyone here. If you want them to look the other way, the best thing to do is to bribe them with rum."

"Pirate squirrels?" Hardison had shown her that movie. "SPY SQUIRRELS. Like ~~meta for~~ Rocky and Bullwinkle!"

Was that awesome? She kinda thought it was awesome.

Also, now she wanted to capture a squirrel. Thanks, Hannibal!

You were very welcome, squirrels and Parker!

"More like reporters." Hannibal shrugged. "They also occasionally kidnap people for long enough to read the news on the radio. But they seem harmless otherwise."

Hannibal had all the best rum, just in case.

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