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fandomhigh2014-09-16 02:57 pm
glacial_queen) wrote in fandomhigh2014-09-16 02:57 pm
Entry tags:
Defying Expectations, Tuesday, Per 3
"So, I was going to save this lecture for a few weeks, but it seems that the fates have conspired on several fronts to make this topic fit very well today." And if her eyes happened to rest on one or two students in particular, she'd just say that it was solely coincidence. Really.
"Using only my own experience, which, sorry, it's pretty much all I have to go on, the number one most useful weapon you have in your fight to stay yourself is a friend. Or group of friends, because there's safety in numbers, but even one real, honest, and good friend is enough. I don't mean someone who is just fun to hang out with and enables all your terrible ideas because they sound hilarious--those friends are great, too, and make high school a lot of fun--but the kind of friend who will dig his or her heels in to tell you when you're being stupid, or hurtful, or wrong. The kind of friend who will dive into fire for you, no matter how many times you tell them not to. The kind of friend who brings out your very best self, because the idea of letting them down is worse than anything else you can come up with and hurting them hurts you."
Karla looked out the window and up to the sky for a moment, where a tiny white speck could be seen if one knew where to look. "As I mentioned in our last class, no matter what you do in your future, you will be surrounded by people who want to use you to further their own ends. I don't even necessarily mean for nefarious purposes, though odds are you'll meet a few people like that, too, but it is human nature to be selfish. There are things you will be able to do for people that they won't be able to do for themselves and they will want you to do it with no thought to how it might affect you or other people around you. That's when it's good to have your friend there. They can remind you of what's good and right for you to do, remind you of consequences, and be your moral compass when the way gets confusing." She spread out her hands, "This obviously shouldn't be a one-way street. Friendship doesn't work that way and they are certainly not meant to be your therapist. But sometimes even the thoughts of friends can help; there are plenty of actions I might have taken if I hadn't thought about whether I'd be able to look my friends in the eye afterwards. And there are actions I have taken against my friends' better judgment, but I felt more certain of my decision afterwards because I had people second-guessing what I did and why. It didn't make for a comfortable experience, no, but your friends are not infallible. They have different outlooks and belief systems that can lead them to make wrong choices the same way yours do. But being accountable to someone who has your best interest at heart can keep you sane and healthy. It gives you at least one person you know you can trust and rely on, and, believe me, that is a value beyond measure."
Take it from a Queen with an uneasy political situation at home. Having people you could trust made everything a hundred times easier. "There aren't any real activities I can make you do today. There's no magic exercise to turn people into best friends and whoever invented trust falls ought to be punched repeatedly in the face. Instead, I'm assigning homework. Take time this week to try to make a friend. I know that's not easy for a lot of you and I certainly don't expect you to go out and tell your life stories to the first person you meet for homework. But find someone you don't know very well, or would like to get to know better, and invite them out for coffee, or stop by their room. Initiate a conversation. Take the first step down a road that could lead to a deep friendship later. If you're someone with trust issues, push your boundaries a little. Talk to someone and tell them something small, but personal. Give them a chance to earn that trust you're so hesitant to offer. Let them help you with something you wouldn't ordinarily accept help with. Let the walls you've built up between you and the outside world lower just the tiniest bit. I can't force any of you to start letting people into your heart and your lives--a lot of you have seen and done things that make the very idea seem absurd. But I can tell you that it's worth the risk. So much more than you've ever dreamed."
"Using only my own experience, which, sorry, it's pretty much all I have to go on, the number one most useful weapon you have in your fight to stay yourself is a friend. Or group of friends, because there's safety in numbers, but even one real, honest, and good friend is enough. I don't mean someone who is just fun to hang out with and enables all your terrible ideas because they sound hilarious--those friends are great, too, and make high school a lot of fun--but the kind of friend who will dig his or her heels in to tell you when you're being stupid, or hurtful, or wrong. The kind of friend who will dive into fire for you, no matter how many times you tell them not to. The kind of friend who brings out your very best self, because the idea of letting them down is worse than anything else you can come up with and hurting them hurts you."
Karla looked out the window and up to the sky for a moment, where a tiny white speck could be seen if one knew where to look. "As I mentioned in our last class, no matter what you do in your future, you will be surrounded by people who want to use you to further their own ends. I don't even necessarily mean for nefarious purposes, though odds are you'll meet a few people like that, too, but it is human nature to be selfish. There are things you will be able to do for people that they won't be able to do for themselves and they will want you to do it with no thought to how it might affect you or other people around you. That's when it's good to have your friend there. They can remind you of what's good and right for you to do, remind you of consequences, and be your moral compass when the way gets confusing." She spread out her hands, "This obviously shouldn't be a one-way street. Friendship doesn't work that way and they are certainly not meant to be your therapist. But sometimes even the thoughts of friends can help; there are plenty of actions I might have taken if I hadn't thought about whether I'd be able to look my friends in the eye afterwards. And there are actions I have taken against my friends' better judgment, but I felt more certain of my decision afterwards because I had people second-guessing what I did and why. It didn't make for a comfortable experience, no, but your friends are not infallible. They have different outlooks and belief systems that can lead them to make wrong choices the same way yours do. But being accountable to someone who has your best interest at heart can keep you sane and healthy. It gives you at least one person you know you can trust and rely on, and, believe me, that is a value beyond measure."
Take it from a Queen with an uneasy political situation at home. Having people you could trust made everything a hundred times easier. "There aren't any real activities I can make you do today. There's no magic exercise to turn people into best friends and whoever invented trust falls ought to be punched repeatedly in the face. Instead, I'm assigning homework. Take time this week to try to make a friend. I know that's not easy for a lot of you and I certainly don't expect you to go out and tell your life stories to the first person you meet for homework. But find someone you don't know very well, or would like to get to know better, and invite them out for coffee, or stop by their room. Initiate a conversation. Take the first step down a road that could lead to a deep friendship later. If you're someone with trust issues, push your boundaries a little. Talk to someone and tell them something small, but personal. Give them a chance to earn that trust you're so hesitant to offer. Let them help you with something you wouldn't ordinarily accept help with. Let the walls you've built up between you and the outside world lower just the tiniest bit. I can't force any of you to start letting people into your heart and your lives--a lot of you have seen and done things that make the very idea seem absurd. But I can tell you that it's worth the risk. So much more than you've ever dreamed."
Re: Sign In (09/16)
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