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defying expectations

Defying Expectations, Tuesday, Per 3

"So, I was going to save this lecture for a few weeks, but it seems that the fates have conspired on several fronts to make this topic fit very well today." And if her eyes happened to rest on one or two students in particular, she'd just say that it was solely coincidence. Really.

"Using only my own experience, which, sorry, it's pretty much all I have to go on, the number one most useful weapon you have in your fight to stay yourself is a friend. Or group of friends, because there's safety in numbers, but even one real, honest, and good friend is enough. I don't mean someone who is just fun to hang out with and enables all your terrible ideas because they sound hilarious--those friends are great, too, and make high school a lot of fun--but the kind of friend who will dig his or her heels in to tell you when you're being stupid, or hurtful, or wrong. The kind of friend who will dive into fire for you, no matter how many times you tell them not to. The kind of friend who brings out your very best self, because the idea of letting them down is worse than anything else you can come up with and hurting them hurts you."

Karla looked out the window and up to the sky for a moment, where a tiny white speck could be seen if one knew where to look. "As I mentioned in our last class, no matter what you do in your future, you will be surrounded by people who want to use you to further their own ends. I don't even necessarily mean for nefarious purposes, though odds are you'll meet a few people like that, too, but it is human nature to be selfish. There are things you will be able to do for people that they won't be able to do for themselves and they will want you to do it with no thought to how it might affect you or other people around you. That's when it's good to have your friend there. They can remind you of what's good and right for you to do, remind you of consequences, and be your moral compass when the way gets confusing." She spread out her hands, "This obviously shouldn't be a one-way street. Friendship doesn't work that way and they are certainly not meant to be your therapist. But sometimes even the thoughts of friends can help; there are plenty of actions I might have taken if I hadn't thought about whether I'd be able to look my friends in the eye afterwards. And there are actions I have taken against my friends' better judgment, but I felt more certain of my decision afterwards because I had people second-guessing what I did and why. It didn't make for a comfortable experience, no, but your friends are not infallible. They have different outlooks and belief systems that can lead them to make wrong choices the same way yours do. But being accountable to someone who has your best interest at heart can keep you sane and healthy. It gives you at least one person you know you can trust and rely on, and, believe me, that is a value beyond measure."

Take it from a Queen with an uneasy political situation at home. Having people you could trust made everything a hundred times easier. "There aren't any real activities I can make you do today. There's no magic exercise to turn people into best friends and whoever invented trust falls ought to be punched repeatedly in the face. Instead, I'm assigning homework. Take time this week to try to make a friend. I know that's not easy for a lot of you and I certainly don't expect you to go out and tell your life stories to the first person you meet for homework. But find someone you don't know very well, or would like to get to know better, and invite them out for coffee, or stop by their room. Initiate a conversation. Take the first step down a road that could lead to a deep friendship later. If you're someone with trust issues, push your boundaries a little. Talk to someone and tell them something small, but personal. Give them a chance to earn that trust you're so hesitant to offer. Let them help you with something you wouldn't ordinarily accept help with. Let the walls you've built up between you and the outside world lower just the tiniest bit. I can't force any of you to start letting people into your heart and your lives--a lot of you have seen and done things that make the very idea seem absurd. But I can tell you that it's worth the risk. So much more than you've ever dreamed."

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With someone!

Eleanor Lamb

Mara Jade

Paddra Nsu-Yeul

Kaylin Neya

Elsa of Arendelle

Emma Swan

Yeah, it's pretty touchy-feely today. That's what happens when your teacher is about to go on vacation and see two of her oldest and dearest friends.

And, hey! At least it isn't more horrible hypothetical situations this week!

Eleanor was pulled in on herself, squeezing her eyes shut. Friendship? Friendship has resulted in her traumatizing and permanently scarring several of the people dearest to her. And possibly losing them entirely.

Come on! Some of you have friends! Feel free to talk about how great they are!

"I disagree," Eleanor said, keeping her composure with some effort. "Those -- friends. The ones who would dive into Hell for you. It's the bloody worst. Sure it sounds all noble and wonderful except then your friends are in Hell, because you selfishly allowed them to come to Hell along with you. They think they'll be heroes and then they discover that life is bloody awful and it's your fault."

"It's a trade-off," Karla agreed. "Believe me, I know where you're coming from--and where you've been. I've dragged my friends into horrible scenarios..." Karla had to pause to count: Briarwood, Agio, Sceval, Yllestad. Those were the worst for her, yes. "...Four times. Four times, at least, that could give you a run for your money where you brought yours. And I feel guilty every time and that's a guilt that will never go away."

"But," and Karla held up a finger. "Your friends are their own people. They make their own choices. Yes, you've shown them what was probably the worst experience of their lives. If they're incredibly lucky, it will remain the worst thing any of them ever see. But you don't get to decide for them whether or not it was worth it. You've got to shoulder the guilt you feel, but you are not allowed to take their own choices away from them."

"I'm not trying to take their choice," Eleanor said, her voice still shaking. "I'm wishing I hadn't been so bloody stupid in the first place. I've scarred them, and I don't know that I can look them in the eyes again."

She shook her head. "If it's all well and good for them to do that, if it makes them bloody brilliant friends, then what sort of friend does it make me to acquiesce? A selfish one."

"It depends on what you were doing and why you accepted their help," Karla said, pulling a seat over to sit next to Eleanor. "Did you want them there so they could hold your hand? Did you think that whatever they experienced would be justified because you'd have an easier time? Why did you agree, Eleanor? Talk it out."

Eleanor tried to reason back the tangled mess that it had all become.

"I kept insisting no," she said. "I was going to leave without anyone knowing. I kept asking people for advice on how to leave without anyone knowing, and they just insisted on coming along. And -- Professor Jono, he said that if it were the other way around, if my friends were going somewhere awful, I'd want to go, too."

She drew another unsteady breath. "I didn't have a good plan for stopping them, as it was."

"Jono knows exactly what he's talking about," Karla said softly. "He should. He's been there, time and time again. The friend who comes when called. He led armies for me and watched almost everyone in his unit die a horrible death." She gave Eleanor a wan smile.

"And he's right. What would you do if Joker had to go home and face some personal mission that was incredibly important to him and also dangerous and ugly as Hell? You can tell me that it wouldn't be the same, that you've already seen the worst and so are better prepared, but that's bullshit. For one thing, you can never say you've seen the worst, because someone will always surprise you. For another, if you love someone, you don't want them to see anything horrible, no matter how much or how little they've seen already."

Eleanor hugged her arms. "It's not just -- just the ugliness that I didn't want them to see," she admitted. "I didn't want them to see me. To -- to understand it, really. Where I'm from, who I am, what it all means. I don't know --"

She swallowed past a lump.

"I don't know if they'll ever look at me the same," she said. "I don't know if I want to know."

"Or," Elsa offered, gently piping up from where she was sitting, "it makes them too stubborn to take no for an answer. Especially where somebody they care about is concerned."

She hadn't gone to Rapture, but she had seen some of what had gone on. She couldn't just sit back and let Eleanor tear herself down.

"There's no sense in believing that you didn't fight them hard enough, Eleanor. They would have found a way to go, I think. And I can't speak for them... but I, for one, know that some people are worth a few scars."

Eleanor's eyes found Elsa's, and she teared up. And flinched.

"I'm sorry," she said. "That -- that you and Barry -- even if you think I'm worth scars, you shouldn't have them. I didn't mean to -- to subject all of you to that ... that ugliness."

Elsa gave Eleanor a tiny, wry smile.

"I got my first kiss out of it," she shared. "I can't complain terribly much about how the weekend went for me. But what we saw..." She bit her lip for a moment, and then shook her head. "So much of it was heartbreaking and horrible and ugly, but there were good things, too. Louise, Grace. You have your family back. I'm honored that I got to witness that."

She would have nightmares of splicers and cultists and kissing angels for a good long while, but she would remember the way Eleanor and Grace embraced one another for far longer.

There were so many different thoughts arguing through her head right now.

The one that insisted on going first was, "You kissed Barry?"

Priorities.

Elsa ducked her head and blushed a little (a lot).

"Barry kissed me," she replied. "I kissed him back. It was... it was nice."

It was very nice, if the slightly goofy smile that she was now wearing was any indication at all.

"I would hope so," Eleanor said lightly, "or I'd say he was doing it wrong."

More importantly, Elsa had allowed herself to be close to Barry, and no one was frozen. Maybe her friend would worry less, as a result.

Of course the assignment can be handwavily done, but if people in class want to agree to meet up sometime, this is the thread to do it.

Grumbling, complaining, or enthusing over the idea is also welcome!

Kaylin was... sort of willing - in a 'my teacher made me do it' sort of way - to plan to meet with someone sometime.

If she is here! And not planning on murdering Karla with her bare hands!

Yup. You gotta make a friend, Kaylin!

Kaylin had friends! She totally had friends!

In Elantra.

Who... mostly considered her a mascot/little sister.

And here, well... well... did Hannibal count? A teacher you ran into sometimes could totally be a friend!

Sort of.

Ish.

Oh hellfire.

Who will be happy to share any of the millions of times she needed her friends or did something horrible to them and regretted it.

I KNEW IT WAS TUESDAY THE WHOLE TIME, REALLY!

So the actions against your friends' better judgement... that's all about Karla's cooking right?

*RUNS AWAY*

Just for that KARLA IS GONNA MAKE COOKIES FOR EVERYONE AND IT'LL BE ALL YOUR FAULT

NOT TAKING YOUR CLASS SO I DON'T CARE!

YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS!

HOW CAN YOU BE SO CRUEL?!?!?

NOPE. THIS IS ALL ON YOU.

AND THE SADDEST THING? NO ONE HERE IS OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW TO AVOID THEM.

MINE IS AN EVIL LAUGH

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Defying Expectations, Tuesday, Per 3

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