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Doctoring 101

So, last week Navaan had told the class that she'd be explaining to them the finer details of seducing secrets out of people. In the time between that class and this one, there had been evil carnivals, battles, hugging, sleep, alcohol, sex, and illicit substances. Therefore, Navaan couldnt be bothered remembering what she’d said they would talk about this class and had come in with an entirely new class prepared.

Though, lets all be honest. Navaan probably wouldn't have remembered even if none of those things had been involved.

"So, it’s our last day to study doctoring!" she said when the class met up in front of Portalocity. "Which means it's time for us to sit down as a group, discuss the merits and flaws of taking this course and then my methodology as an instructor." She waited just long enough for that to sink in before cackling and waving that away. "Ha! Just kidding! No, don't worry, this last class'll be way more useful!"

Sorry, Ichabod.

"Like most of you saw last weekend, sometimes shit happens and we, as doctors, have a duty to stop it, especially when our patients' health and safety are on the line. At any time, we may be called upon to fend off the attacks of mad gods, evil carnivals, and the most heinous enemies of all, rival doctors. If you find yourself in that position, the easiest thing to do is straight up murder your opponent, preferably when they have no idea that you're there or even that you exist. You can't defend against an enemy you don't know is there!"

She sounded far too cheerful for this. On the other hand, a ridiculous number of your other teachers—and possibly even some of your schoolmates—would agree with her.

"If murdering them is out of the picture for some reason, like they already know what you're planning or they're spending all their time in the sun just so you'll explode if you try, you can also challenge them for superiority. I prefer to challenge my opponents to a trial by fuck, which is a fight without the bit before it gets sexy. If you're really good, you can combine this with the first idea and kill them when they least expect it, but that's only really effective if you've already come first."

It seemed Navaan had decided not to hold back today. At all. You're welcome? Either for this pure look inside her mind or for the past six weeks when she apparently had been holding back. Whichever works best for you.

"If you don’t think you can win a trial--or if you're pretty sure your opponent plans to use it to try to kill you, too--there are lots of other types of challenges you can issue. A drinking challenge is always good. You get to see who holds their alcohol better, which is always important to know, and, if it's you, kill them when they pass out! Games of chance or skill are good choices, too: beer pong, darts, billiards, arm wrestling, who can seduce the most people…"

Yeah, there was probably a theme here. And if you figured out how the final class was going to go, congratulations! That Bat guy might be proud of your deductive reasoning! Or just disappointed you hadn't found a way to escape the class yet. If you hadn't figured out what was up, then having the portal open up in front of a seedy, rundown looking pub in Navaan's world probably came as something of a shock.

For several reasons. But don't worry class! You probably won't get tetanus. Err, you all had had your shots, right?

"So, for our final class, you’re going to have a chance to rise to a challenge and see how you'd do against an enemy." Navaan explained, cheerfully herding them all inside. "Doesn't this sound fun?"

[Comic link is NSFW]

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"It is played even in my time, you know," he said, "although the board looks a little different. And I prefer stupid to insane, I have to admit." That last part was added with a glance at Navaan.

Celia followed his glance, then looked back at him with a raised brow. "I'm not sure the two are mutually exclusive, in that case," she said in an undertone, offering him one of the darts she'd plucked up.

"We ought to wager something," she decided, "if I'm keeping it fair and not using my magic." Though depending on the wager, she might very well regret that decision.

"You are probably right in that," Ichabod said, not even caring if Navaan heard. "And a wager? In a fair game? Have you any in mind?" He gave her a teasing look.

"Hmm, I don't know. What do you have that I'd want to win?" Celia wondered, mock-thoughtfully tapping her chin. "I mean, money's the obvious choice, but no fun at all. There's always deeds. Or drinks. Or kisses."

She smiled up at him, utterly innocent.

"As you say, money is no fun, and the drinks here are most likely appalling," Ichabod said. "Now, whoever wins might get a kiss." As if neither of them had thought about that until this moment.

"Just one?" Celia asked, raising a brow. "That seems awfully light for a hard-fought victory in darts."

Though it did curb her inclination towards cheating, considering there wasn't really any sort of loss at stake, here.

"Two?" Ichabod was prepared to raise the stakes. "You don't find that extravagant?"

"On the contrary, I find that victory is all the sweeter when the reward is substantial," Celia countered. "I like to win, Ichabod, but the sheer joy of doing so doesn't mean I don't welcome additional incentive."

She curved a smile at him, playful. "Do you disagree? We can certainly lower the stakes, if you're worried about losing or something."

She was just goading him now, yes.

"I don't want you to get the idea that I fear losing," Ichabod replied. "Three kisses?" He gave her an amused look.

"Five," Celia said, just to be contrary.

"You're stubborn," Ichabod observed, holding back a laugh. "Agreed."

"I refuse to believe that's a surprise to you after this long," Celia replied with a cheeky grin. "D'you want to go first?"

She figured she could offer, given the fact that she was being deliberately obnoxious.

No, it wasn't a surprise and he wouldn't want that to change. Shooting her a grin in reply, he picked up the darts.

"Why not."

He was by no means a very good dart player. The first dart barely hit the board, scoring no points, while the second hit scored 14. Third time lucky he hit a triple 16, which caused him to make a pleased exclamation.

[and sorry for extreme SP!]

"Good job!" Celia exclaimed, looking over at him. "Are you sure you're not cheating with magic?"

She wasn't entirely sure that she could match it without doing so, but she didn't much mind.

[no worries!!]

"Not unless your magic is contagious," he said, handing Celia the darts. He knew that had just been luck, but he wasn't going to announce that just yet.

"If it was," she mused, closing one eye to aim, "it's taken an awfully long time to manifest in you."

Most contagious things she knew of didn't have a two-month incubation period, after all.

The first dart completely missed the board, which was probably understandable, given that Celia hadn't thrown anything simply by hand since she was a very small child. The second managed to land in a double 4, while the third cleared a single 13.

"And...that is why I cheat with magic. That is exactly why." She didn't look too upset about it, though.

And Ichabod saw no reason to be judgmental about it. "But what about the challenge of the game? Doesn't it make it predictable?"

He picked the darts from the board.

"Not when you practice against other magicians," Celia pointed out, smiling slightly. "But yes, it rather does. Human error makes things a bit more...fun. It's a luxury I haven't been able to afford, before."

Because she hadn't been allowed. It was nice to be able to pretend she was halfway normal here, sometimes.

[and now it's my turn to apologize for extra-slow SP!]

Smiling, Ichabod aimed at the dart board again. "Yes, the unpredictability of human life." He hit 7.

"So, should I suggest more activities where magic is out of bounds?" He glanced at her, then threw the dart, scoring a 3. The next one hit a double 4.

Celia raised a brow at him dubiously, still holding her own darts for the moment. "Such as?"

There was a lot of room for her to fail contained in that suggestion, and while she was warming to the idea that it wasn't the end of the world if wasn't the best at everything, she still didn't relish the prospect of looking like a fool.

Ichabod sensed her reluctance, and as his intention wasn't to make her uncomfortable, he replied, giving her a more serious look: "That choice would be yours."

She smiled, a little more at ease -- though she mentally scolded herself for even worrying about looking stupid in some hypothetical effort, anyway, as he probably wouldn't care. "If I'm without magic," she said, thoughtful, "we ought to make you use your left hand, or something." Though depending on the activity, dominant hands might not even be important.

A thought occurred to her, and her eyes widened. "...do you play chess?" She was fairly sure she already knew the answer. "Because I do, and a lack of magic wouldn't hinder me in the slightest." And it was something where she wouldn't feel immediately clumsy at not being able to use it, like so many other things.

"I do as well," Ichabod replied, looking pleased. "And it would be on equal terms." Perhaps he should mention that eidetic memory offered quite good opportunities for memorizing strategies from books?

"Perfect. I've been playing since I was little -- it was one of my father's favorite training exercises," she explained, smiling. "But it's not as though I'm incapable of moving the pieces by hand, after all."

She hadn't even taken his memory into consideration, which was probably for the best.

"I look forward to it," Ichabod said. "But we still have this game to finish, and rewards to be had." Because he really felt it would be a pity to miss those rewards.

Doctoring 101

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