fandomhigh | Doctoring 101 (07/17)

Once again, because Navaan's students were the absolute luckiest, they were meeting in town to catch a portal back to Navaan's world. "I hope you have your bags and your leeches," she announced as soon as they were gathered. "Because today we're going to actually start doctoring! I'm friends with these monks and I take care of them. I even killed a god to keep my little guys safe, so a few ground rules. Rule one: These guys are important to me, so take this very seriously. I want to see everyone's A-games, you got that? Rule two: These are my patients. I'm letting you help them because you're my students, but absolutely no poaching. You can get your own patients on your own time. Rule three: Okay, I forget rule three, but I'm sure it's important and I'll tell you as soon as I remember it. Don't break it anyway, you've been warned."

She glared at the class, making sure that they saw she was very, very serious. "Now, when we get to them, you're each gonna get a monk, you'll diagnose the issue, and then we'll discuss what we think the best treatment is." The portal opened behind her and she gestured her students through. "Oh! Right! I remember Rule Three!"

When the students stepped through the portal, they'd see a brilliant circus under the night sky. Lanterns and torches provided light, there were people teeming everywhere, with barkers crying out games, wares, and sideshows. "The third rule is..." Navaan began as she stepped out from the portal. Then she stopped, staring in fascination at the circus.

"Why didn't anyone tell me this was on?" she asked, before running pell-mell towards the big top. "Let's go, guys! We're going to the circus!"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"If my lady so wishes," Joker replied. "Which one would you rather? They're both very... strange, in their own unique way."

Eleanor took her time considering the issue. What? This was an important decision.

"'Cocksucker,'" she decided, at last. "I'd rather not take 'frell' if we don't know what it means. 'Cocksucker' is nicely straightforward. It's only an insult if one objects to the actions in question, after all."

Look, she'd never done that particular thing, but she imagined at some point she would.

"Well, then, if you don't object, that's definitely good to know. You shall have a nice, soft 'cocksucker' to hold and snuggle! Nothing says 'I care about you' like a good 'cocksucker'!" He held it out to her. "Or, if you'd rather, I can hang onto it for you, for right now, so you don't have to lug it around all day. That's also part of the tradition."

"The things I'm learning about language today," Eleanor said brightly. "Won't it be difficult for you, lugging around a 'cocksucker' and a 'frell'? You know, we don't know but what 'frell' means the same as 'cocksucker.' You should have asked when you won it."

"I was just picking words at random, to be honest," Joker told her. "I was kind of there a while. A spin or two earlier, you could have had a 'cuntpuncher', or a 'twatwaffle'. But the guy started looking at me funny, so I just took the word and went." He looked at the words and shrugged. "I've got no problem carrying them for you. They're not too heavy, and that leaves you free to... I dunno. Whatever you feel like doing. No sexing the strange people without me, okay?"

"You thought I was going to begin sexing strange people?" Eleanor asked, one eyebrow arched.

Clearly, she had no idea she was about to join the Blind Chicken Melee.

"It was a joke. I mean, 'cause that seems to be what this whole affair is all about, right? I'm all for following local customs, but there's a line."

Doctoring 101 (07/17)

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