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fandomhigh2014-07-10 06:25 am
doesdoctorstuff.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2014-07-10 06:25 am
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Doctoring 101, Thursday, Per. 01
Their teacher had met them at beach today, waiting for them to disembark the ferry. "Let's go!" she said, slightly muffled under her heavy cloak and plague doctor gear. "No classroom today, kids! We're going on an adventure! Rule number one of being a doctor: always be ready for adventure!"
You might have thought that the first rule of a doctor was something else, perhaps along the lines of 'do no harm,' but you would be wrong. And that was why Navaan was teaching this course and you weren't.
"So, apparently there're these portal thingies that can take us to lots of places," Navaan chatted as they walked. "Some kind of magic or other. Which is great, because we need to go somewhere else than this island. I totally tried to stock the pond in the park, but all the stupid birds ate my precious babies, so we're off to somewhere we can get them instead!" She paused and looked at her assembled class. "Hmm. Maybe I should have told you to wear ratty clothes. And waders. Maybe some waterproof boots." And then she shrugged, merrily putting it out of her mind. "Oh well. Too late now. Hope no one's wearing anything nice, because here's our portal!"
Their portal delivered them right in the middle of a swamp. The lucky students exited onto the strip of dry land. Any unlucky ones (and Navaan herself) landed directly in the bog, sinking to roughly knee-height in the dark water. It was night there, the sky dark and cloudy, with a lot of dead trees reaching up towards it. The air was hot and thick and mosquitos buzzed loudly. In the distance was a stone building, where the words 'I AM A DOCTOR' were painted on the front. You smart ones might be able to guess whose house that was, though whether she was the owner in the strictest sense of the word was up for question.
"Okay!" Navaan said, peeling off her cloak and facemask. Underneath, she was wearing thick, water-proof pants and rubber boots, and seemed to be completely unfazed by where she was standing. The est of you could start making your way towards land now--though be careful not to knock over any of the fishing poles that were set up. "So, the smarter kids in the class already remember this, but not all of you struck me as that when we talked last week, so I'm gonna say it again. The most important tool in your doctor bag--and you'd all better have your doctor bags, you're studying to be doctors, you need to be responsible--is leeches. Are leeches. Is is 'is' cause 'tool' is singular? Heh, tool. Or is it plural, cause leeches are? Never mind. I'll visit a wordsmith later to find out. Anyway, leeches are super-useful and important, and no doctor should ever be without them!"
Navaan pulled her jar of leeches out of her bag and showed them off to her students, smiling proudly. There were five or six leeches in there and the jar was half-full of pinkish-gray water. On the bottom there were chunks of--something--that the students would probably prefer not to think about too closely. Too bad. This was your lesson today, kids. "Lotsa cool things you can do with leeches," she explained, opening the jar and taking one out. It was about six inches long and glistened wetly on her gloves as it started to slowly move about. "These suckers are great for medicine. They secrete anti-coagulants, which means that wherever you stick 'em'll keep bleeding. The blood keeps pumping which'll help keep fingers and stuff from falling off after you reattach 'em. Their drool is filled with all kinds of useful stuff, including an anesthetic and anti-inflammatory enzymes. They're awesome that way. Also, cause they fill up with blood in about twenty minutes, they make great snacks."
Ha ha. That was a...joke? Maybe?
"So today, you're gonna get to know your new best friend, the leech. We're gonna start with how to catch them, then how to take care of them, and then how to use them. You ready?"
Probably not. That wasn't going to stop her.
You might have thought that the first rule of a doctor was something else, perhaps along the lines of 'do no harm,' but you would be wrong. And that was why Navaan was teaching this course and you weren't.
"So, apparently there're these portal thingies that can take us to lots of places," Navaan chatted as they walked. "Some kind of magic or other. Which is great, because we need to go somewhere else than this island. I totally tried to stock the pond in the park, but all the stupid birds ate my precious babies, so we're off to somewhere we can get them instead!" She paused and looked at her assembled class. "Hmm. Maybe I should have told you to wear ratty clothes. And waders. Maybe some waterproof boots." And then she shrugged, merrily putting it out of her mind. "Oh well. Too late now. Hope no one's wearing anything nice, because here's our portal!"
Their portal delivered them right in the middle of a swamp. The lucky students exited onto the strip of dry land. Any unlucky ones (and Navaan herself) landed directly in the bog, sinking to roughly knee-height in the dark water. It was night there, the sky dark and cloudy, with a lot of dead trees reaching up towards it. The air was hot and thick and mosquitos buzzed loudly. In the distance was a stone building, where the words 'I AM A DOCTOR' were painted on the front. You smart ones might be able to guess whose house that was, though whether she was the owner in the strictest sense of the word was up for question.
"Okay!" Navaan said, peeling off her cloak and facemask. Underneath, she was wearing thick, water-proof pants and rubber boots, and seemed to be completely unfazed by where she was standing. The est of you could start making your way towards land now--though be careful not to knock over any of the fishing poles that were set up. "So, the smarter kids in the class already remember this, but not all of you struck me as that when we talked last week, so I'm gonna say it again. The most important tool in your doctor bag--and you'd all better have your doctor bags, you're studying to be doctors, you need to be responsible--is leeches. Are leeches. Is is 'is' cause 'tool' is singular? Heh, tool. Or is it plural, cause leeches are? Never mind. I'll visit a wordsmith later to find out. Anyway, leeches are super-useful and important, and no doctor should ever be without them!"
Navaan pulled her jar of leeches out of her bag and showed them off to her students, smiling proudly. There were five or six leeches in there and the jar was half-full of pinkish-gray water. On the bottom there were chunks of--something--that the students would probably prefer not to think about too closely. Too bad. This was your lesson today, kids. "Lotsa cool things you can do with leeches," she explained, opening the jar and taking one out. It was about six inches long and glistened wetly on her gloves as it started to slowly move about. "These suckers are great for medicine. They secrete anti-coagulants, which means that wherever you stick 'em'll keep bleeding. The blood keeps pumping which'll help keep fingers and stuff from falling off after you reattach 'em. Their drool is filled with all kinds of useful stuff, including an anesthetic and anti-inflammatory enzymes. They're awesome that way. Also, cause they fill up with blood in about twenty minutes, they make great snacks."
Ha ha. That was a...joke? Maybe?
"So today, you're gonna get to know your new best friend, the leech. We're gonna start with how to catch them, then how to take care of them, and then how to use them. You ready?"
Probably not. That wasn't going to stop her.
Re: Activity 1--Jar Preparation
She spoke slowly and clearly, making sure to enunciate every word. Just in case Celia needed some, err, extra help.
How was that 'not breaking something' going for you?
Re: Activity 1--Jar Preparation
"It's pretend," Celia replied. She widened her eyes innocently, blinking. If she was going to be treated like an imbecile (in an ugly dress, to boot), then she might as well get the most out of it. "They can pretend to sunbathe. Maybe they've longed all their lives for an opportunity, only to be crippled by their adaptation to their climates."
Re: Activity 1--Jar Preparation
Navaan gave Celia a big grin. It was very toothy.