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Practical Philosophy, Monday

"I've been given to understand that some of you had your emotions manipulated by the island last week," Ender said. He was sitting cross-legged on the grass of the dorm lawn, as per usual, a glass of water in his hand. "So I propose we talk about that on a primary note this week. Did you experience that? Did you know anyone who experienced it? Did it teach you anything about yourself, or was it a pain in the ass? There are a range of issues coming into play when these things occur - questions of consent as well as what this did to you. I'm opening the floor today to any and all of them."

He sat back.

"Otherwise, it's Memorial Day today," he said. "I've personally served in my home's armed forces. It was an unusual program, but not all of us came back alive. Many of us didn't come home whole. I've heard and seen of many brave people who died, serving humanity to their utmost best. They deserve some thought today. I don't care if you want to do it in discussion in this class or later, but please keep it in mind."

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Cade's lower lip caught between his teeth. "Sometimes I forget how young they were in your war," he murmured.

"Six was the age they deemed us ready to be taken apart," Ender murmured.

Cade bit out something vile in Huttese. "Though that explains why Dad came so late to Jedi training..."

"We would've wanted him to have a childhood first, before he pursued whatever future he wanted," Ender said.

"Yeah," Cade said softly. "I guess mine tracked a little closer to how Ben grew up."

"If there's one thing I'm sure older me would regret, it's not impressing on your father the importance of letting you have a childhood," Ender said quietly. "When I was recruited, the only reason they were taking children that young was because they were absolutely desperate. It was not meant to be a sustained way of life."

"Jedi kids don't exactly go to elementary school," Cade replied, "and it wasn't like there was an option of leaving me back with my mother."

"There are always options, Cade, when you want them to exist," Ender said. "Your father wanted you to be a Jedi."

"He must be terribly disappointed now, then," Cade said wryly.

"Well, he of all people should know child-rearing never goes the way you planned," Ender said dryly.

"I was a perfect--" Cade broke off with a grin. "Can't even pretend that."

Ender smiled at him. "You were a perfect pain in the ass," he said, "Probably."

"Totally," Cade admitted. "But I kept his life interesting."

Ender's mouth quirked a little.

"But yes," he said, taking things back to their original topic, "I mourn Bonzo. I mourn the thousands of pilots who died because we were careless. And I mourn the Formics."

Cade's lips curved up. "Of course you do," he said, sounding more earnest than normal. "Did I ever tell you Dad's big project?"

"Restoring life to barren worlds," Ender said. "Yes, you mentioned."

He'd even been a little proud, quietly, of Kol.

Cade smiled at him. "He didn't forget all of his lessons."

"Maybe it's not even that he forgot anything," Ender said softly. "Maybe he was just too much like me."

"Not a bad thing from where I'm sitting," Cade offered quietly.

Ender let out a sigh. "I am not always the best at keeping individuals in mind when bigger responsibilities turn up," he said. "At least not when it comes to the demands they try to make of me."

"You're doing pretty good with me," Cade pointed out.

"You're my grandson," Ender said with a tiny smile. "It's hard not to look at you and see some part of myself."

"Which part?" Cade asked.

"You're clever, and more observant than you'd like people to know," Ender said. "And better with masks than I wish you'd have to be."

"We have to deal with how the universe really is, right?" Cade replied. "And it's currently a universe that would like to kill me, and I like being alive."

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