http://holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fandomhigh2014-04-25 12:35 am

The Modern Workplace and You: Friday, Period 1

"Oh my god, why did you come?" Cheryl greeted the class like usual, looking hungover (also like usual.) "Like...seriously. Last week should've been the last week. You should all be blowing this off right now."

Was it obvious enough that she didn't want to be here? She could try harder. As it was, she was leaning against a table in the Danger Shop and looking dangerously close to just going to sleep.

“Uh … we didn’t write a final,” Pam said, helpfully. “We kinda didn’t figure you little shits’d show up for one. Or, like, survive the rest of the semester.”

Seriously, what were they DOING here? Even the Gun Safety class had figured out that Pam was grossly incompetent after, like, two classes. Did they have nothing better to do? If so, maybe they didn’t know about enough illegal drugs just yet. Because cocaine was way more interesting than this shit.

Cheryl could have written an entire syllabus of her own on that. Acid, Blow and Ecstasy: Improving Your Day-to-Day Life Through Chemical Imbalance.

Don't think she hadn't thought about it.

"Anyway…." Cheryl sighed, waving behind her to where the students may have possibly noticed the obstacle course that had clearly just been set up...oh, like three minutes before they'd gotten there.

And none of it looked like anything they'd covered in class. Oops.

“Take the Middle Management Challenge!” Pam announced, like she was the happiest, fattest Vanna White ever. “See if you can run the gauntlet of the modern workplace environment and escape with your sanity!”

None of this had anything to do with a modern workplace environment, either. And most of it didn’t look all that safe. It was the Danger Shop, so you probably couldn’t be permanently disfigured, right?

"And don't try any of that 'myyyyy workplace won't have these obstacles!' bullshit," Cheryl cautioned, frowning. "Arson is an incredibly widespread problem. All of these are. But especially arson."

She probably shouldn't have smiled for that, but oh well.
tigerundercover: (blonde - unimpressed)

Re: Sign In [4-25]

[personal profile] tigerundercover 2014-04-25 11:55 am (UTC)(link)
Overrank Ham Led
tigerundercover: (shapeshift - rabbi)

Re: OOC [4-25]

[personal profile] tigerundercover 2014-04-25 12:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Mine turned into Cubical Hush.

Re: OOC [4-25]

[identity profile] notmysupervisor.livejournal.com 2014-04-25 01:40 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm Cry Meng Linn! That is way less interesting. Tempted to use my middle name just to add more letters.

ALSO SERIOUSLY THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN. Thank you everyone (particularly my partner in crime) for letting me just have Cheryl do whatever the hell I felt like having her do
Edited 2014-04-25 13:40 (UTC)

Re: Sign In [4-25]

[identity profile] iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com 2014-04-25 01:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Seal A Deer Fell On

Re: During the ... Uh. Well. [4-25]

[identity profile] iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com 2014-04-25 01:45 pm (UTC)(link)
You know, even Elsa was wondering why she actually came to class today. But so help her, she'd seen this class through all semester, she was going to see it to its end.

Looking only mildly concerned, naturally.

Re: FE: OC: Station 1: Cake Decorating! [4-25]

[identity profile] iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com 2014-04-25 01:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Elsa had never done anything like this in her life. But if she just stenciled a lot of flowers all over her cake, that would do, right?

... Right?

Re: Sign In [4-25]

[identity profile] rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com 2014-04-25 02:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Blather Lily

Re: Sign In [4-25]

[identity profile] fly-so-serious.livejournal.com 2014-04-25 04:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Auk Jeer Room

Re: During the ... Uh. Well. [4-25]

[identity profile] fly-so-serious.livejournal.com 2014-04-25 04:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Joker smiled at Pam and Cheryl and let out a happy sigh. Oh, those crazy, crazy ladies! They actually made it through the entire semester without seriously injuring either themselves or the students! He was so proud of them!

Re: FE: OC: Station 1: Cake Decorating! [4-25]

[identity profile] fly-so-serious.livejournal.com 2014-04-25 04:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Joker cut a chunk off of the end of his cake and set it upright on top of the rest. Some frosting and some careful decorating later, and the vertical piece became a brick wall, with green grass on one side and brown dirt on the other. He rolled out a piece of fondant very thinly and coiled it to make barbed wire on top of the wall, and he fashioned a ladder out of thicker pieces of fondant to go on the dirt side of the wall. Completing the piece, he added a few of the cake toppers -- a bride and groom, a princess, a cartoon character -- that were climbing the ladder to their freedom.

"Voilà! Modern workplace blah blah blah!"

Re: FE: OC: Station 2: Arson [4-25]

[identity profile] fly-so-serious.livejournal.com 2014-04-25 04:38 pm (UTC)(link)
There weren't any marshmallows, no, but Joker took a piece of newspaper back to the cake-decorating station and painted a big red frosting heart on it. When that went into the can and got burned with the rest, it made pretty blue flames and smelled sickly sweet.

"Dang it, now I really want some marshmallows."

Re: FE: OC: Station 3: Change a Car's Washer Fluid [4-25]

[identity profile] fly-so-serious.livejournal.com 2014-04-25 04:51 pm (UTC)(link)
So, #1, there's no real way to change the washer fluid, just a place to refill it when it runs out, and #2, the washer fluid has absolutely zero to do with whether or not the car starts.

Joker doubted either teacher knew either of those things, or that they even cared.

It didn't matter, because #3, the instructions said to change the fluid, but they didn't say into what. A quick trip to the Cake Decorating station later, and abracadabra! He had changed the plain, ordinary washer fluid into very soapy, extremely watered-down icing! "Ta-da!"

But why stop there? He covered a good chunk of the engine block in various colors of icing, and wrote "Happy Birtday Mr. Orange Car" on it in very loopy cursive. Then he took a step back to admire his work.

...And then he frowned. "Dammit, forgot an H." Because that was the only thing wrong, here.
Edited 2014-04-25 16:52 (UTC)

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