fandomhigh | The Modern Workplace and You: Friday, Period 1

"Oh my god, why did you come?" Cheryl greeted the class like usual, looking hungover (also like usual.) "Like...seriously. Last week should've been the last week. You should all be blowing this off right now."

Was it obvious enough that she didn't want to be here? She could try harder. As it was, she was leaning against a table in the Danger Shop and looking dangerously close to just going to sleep.

“Uh … we didn’t write a final,” Pam said, helpfully. “We kinda didn’t figure you little shits’d show up for one. Or, like, survive the rest of the semester.”

Seriously, what were they DOING here? Even the Gun Safety class had figured out that Pam was grossly incompetent after, like, two classes. Did they have nothing better to do? If so, maybe they didn’t know about enough illegal drugs just yet. Because cocaine was way more interesting than this shit.

Cheryl could have written an entire syllabus of her own on that. Acid, Blow and Ecstasy: Improving Your Day-to-Day Life Through Chemical Imbalance.

Don't think she hadn't thought about it.

"Anyway…." Cheryl sighed, waving behind her to where the students may have possibly noticed the obstacle course that had clearly just been set up...oh, like three minutes before they'd gotten there.

And none of it looked like anything they'd covered in class. Oops.

“Take the Middle Management Challenge!” Pam announced, like she was the happiest, fattest Vanna White ever. “See if you can run the gauntlet of the modern workplace environment and escape with your sanity!”

None of this had anything to do with a modern workplace environment, either. And most of it didn’t look all that safe. It was the Danger Shop, so you probably couldn’t be permanently disfigured, right?

"And don't try any of that 'myyyyy workplace won't have these obstacles!' bullshit," Cheryl cautioned, frowning. "Arson is an incredibly widespread problem. All of these are. But especially arson."

She probably shouldn't have smiled for that, but oh well.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Station 5 is actually located inside a very hip clothing store. The clerk inside the store is far, far too cool for you. Your job is to return the blouse that you purchased last week which you have never worn and no longer want.

This will be difficult, because the clerk at this store is the worst human being on the planet and is actively working against you and being super-condescending and annoying and refusing to even pretend she's not laughing at your struggle. It doesn't help that you don't have a receipt.

Return the blouse, or face the consequences. And since the clerk is absolutely not taking the blouse back, now might be a good time to tell you that getting reeeeeeeeeeeal sick of her shit and burning the store to the ground will also count as a 'win' here. Just saying.

Edited 2014-04-25 05:01 (UTC)

Joker approached the counter and set down his blouse. "Hi! I would like to return this blouse."

Sometimes, the straightforward approach was best.

"Why? Did it not fit?" asked the severe-looking saleslady. (Look, Cheryl and Pam knew who she looked like but no one else did. No harm, no foul as long as Ms. Archer didn't find out.) "Maybe you should have considered that when you bought it."

Oh, she was going to be no help. The whole "return the blouse" thing went right out the window, in favor with "mess with the saleswoman in an amusing way". Joker didn't think the teachers would care.

He looked down at the blouse. It was purple. It had lace on the collar. He looked back up at the woman and gave her a vacant smile. "I don't know. I just... I don't think it looks good on me. Really, I blame the lights in here. When I bought the blouse, it looked orchid, but I got home and realized it was actually mauve. I hate mauve."

"That's hardly mauve's fault," she replied, arching her brows. "It's a lovely color. I don't think you tried very hard to make the blouse work for you. Fashion isn't for the lazy, you know."

"Me and mauve don't get along," Joker insisted. "It once bit my sister. Look, fashion isn't for the lazy, no -- and those good-for-nothings should be grateful they even have clothes -- but it's not for the timid, either! I know what I want, and what I want is not mauve. Now, you either take this blouse in the back and re-dye it yourself, or give me a refund! With interest for pain and suffering!"

"Interest for pain and suffering?" she replied, clearly outraged. "Why is it our fault that you don't know your basic colors? You should invest in a Crayola 64-set." She eyed the offending garment again and added, with a sigh, "I can give you half its value in store credit. That's the best I'd be able to do unless you have a receipt."

Ha.

"A hhwhat?!?!" Joker stared at the woman indignantly. Hey, if you couldn't beat 'em, join em. "I'm sorry, did you just call me a liar?!? Indirectly, of course, but the only reason I can think of that you need a receipt if if you thought I was lying about having bought this blouse here! I mean... I'm just stunned. What kind of person do you think I am? More importantly, what kind of person do you think you are, going around yelling at your customers all the time and unjustly accusing them of fraud? Does your manager know about this?"

The Modern Workplace and You: Friday, Period 1

FE: OC: Station 5: Returning a Blouse [4-25]

Re: FE: OC: Station 5: Returning a Blouse [4-25]

Re: FE: OC: Station 5: Returning a Blouse [4-25]

Re: FE: OC: Station 5: Returning a Blouse [4-25]

Re: FE: OC: Station 5: Returning a Blouse [4-25]

Re: FE: OC: Station 5: Returning a Blouse [4-25]

Re: FE: OC: Station 5: Returning a Blouse [4-25]

Re: FE: OC: Station 5: Returning a Blouse [4-25]