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fandomhigh2014-04-25 12:35 am
holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2014-04-25 12:35 am
Entry tags:
The Modern Workplace and You: Friday, Period 1
"Oh my god, why did you come?" Cheryl greeted the class like usual, looking hungover (also like usual.) "Like...seriously. Last week should've been the last week. You should all be blowing this off right now."
Was it obvious enough that she didn't want to be here? She could try harder. As it was, she was leaning against a table in the Danger Shop and looking dangerously close to just going to sleep.
“Uh … we didn’t write a final,” Pam said, helpfully. “We kinda didn’t figure you little shits’d show up for one. Or, like, survive the rest of the semester.”
Seriously, what were they DOING here? Even the Gun Safety class had figured out that Pam was grossly incompetent after, like, two classes. Did they have nothing better to do? If so, maybe they didn’t know about enough illegal drugs just yet. Because cocaine was way more interesting than this shit.
Cheryl could have written an entire syllabus of her own on that. Acid, Blow and Ecstasy: Improving Your Day-to-Day Life Through Chemical Imbalance.
Don't think she hadn't thought about it.
"Anyway…." Cheryl sighed, waving behind her to where the students may have possibly noticed the obstacle course that had clearly just been set up...oh, like three minutes before they'd gotten there.
And none of it looked like anything they'd covered in class. Oops.
“Take the Middle Management Challenge!” Pam announced, like she was the happiest, fattest Vanna White ever. “See if you can run the gauntlet of the modern workplace environment and escape with your sanity!”
None of this had anything to do with a modern workplace environment, either. And most of it didn’t look all that safe. It was the Danger Shop, so you probably couldn’t be permanently disfigured, right?
"And don't try any of that 'myyyyy workplace won't have these obstacles!' bullshit," Cheryl cautioned, frowning. "Arson is an incredibly widespread problem. All of these are. But especially arson."
She probably shouldn't have smiled for that, but oh well.
Was it obvious enough that she didn't want to be here? She could try harder. As it was, she was leaning against a table in the Danger Shop and looking dangerously close to just going to sleep.
“Uh … we didn’t write a final,” Pam said, helpfully. “We kinda didn’t figure you little shits’d show up for one. Or, like, survive the rest of the semester.”
Seriously, what were they DOING here? Even the Gun Safety class had figured out that Pam was grossly incompetent after, like, two classes. Did they have nothing better to do? If so, maybe they didn’t know about enough illegal drugs just yet. Because cocaine was way more interesting than this shit.
Cheryl could have written an entire syllabus of her own on that. Acid, Blow and Ecstasy: Improving Your Day-to-Day Life Through Chemical Imbalance.
Don't think she hadn't thought about it.
"Anyway…." Cheryl sighed, waving behind her to where the students may have possibly noticed the obstacle course that had clearly just been set up...oh, like three minutes before they'd gotten there.
And none of it looked like anything they'd covered in class. Oops.
“Take the Middle Management Challenge!” Pam announced, like she was the happiest, fattest Vanna White ever. “See if you can run the gauntlet of the modern workplace environment and escape with your sanity!”
None of this had anything to do with a modern workplace environment, either. And most of it didn’t look all that safe. It was the Danger Shop, so you probably couldn’t be permanently disfigured, right?
"And don't try any of that 'myyyyy workplace won't have these obstacles!' bullshit," Cheryl cautioned, frowning. "Arson is an incredibly widespread problem. All of these are. But especially arson."
She probably shouldn't have smiled for that, but oh well.
FE: OC: Station 4: Two Words: Puppet Show [4-25]
Your work must contain suitable pathos to the occasion. Bring tears to the eyes of your fellow students. Also, use of a Greek chorus is mandatory.
When you feel you have expressed the utter depths of your soul in puppeteer form, you may move on to the final station.
Re: FE: OC: Station 4: Two Words: Puppet Show [4-25]
[Enter Chorus]
Chorus:
This is a story of tragedy and woe.
Now sit ye and listen -- no, stop, wait! Don't go!
A student will come, and speak here today,
And once he is finished, ye must give him an "A".
[Enter Student]
Student:
I am a student, and I take this class.
Chorus:
He is a student, and he may not pass.
Student:
I try and I try, and I'm really good.
Will I get a good grade? I know that I should.
I work my hardest, and always do well,
But am I appreciated? I cannot tell.
O tell me, Delphi! O Sybil! Cassandra!
What will be my grade? O what is your answer?
I stand here before you, naked, afraid:
An 'tis less than A-plus, I shall taste my blade!
[Student collapses in agony and grief]
Chorus:
Dun dun DUNNNNNNNN!
Here is thy student, and judgment time comes.
An thou be true, thou know'st what must be done.
[Exeunt]
Re: FE: OC: Station 4: Two Words: Puppet Show [4-25]
No, Pam. It wasn't.
(holy shit asldfkasdkf;lasd ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥)
Re: FE: OC: Station 4: Two Words: Puppet Show [4-25]
Re: FE: OC: Station 4: Two Words: Puppet Show [4-25]
Re: FE: OC: Station 4: Two Words: Puppet Show [4-25]
"Really? Are you sure? That's really a shame. I mean, you chop 'em up with some spinach and cheese and some other stuff, and... I know people think of it as being all frou-frou, but seriously, stick it right next to the guac and the nacho cheese, 'cause I am so there."