fandomhigh | Ethics [Tuesday, November 12, 2013]

Do you hear the sound of robotic screaming, class?

Do you have a very bad feeling about this?

Good. It's terrifying robot toddler week!

"Good morning, class," Anakin said loudly, a slightly fiendish smile on his face. "You each get one of these delightful children to care for this week."

The delightful children were all shrieking their scary faces red. "Each of them has been programmed to be able to walk, climb, and knows a few words, but tend to communicate mostly by yelling and pointing." And throwing things if you guess wrong. "They're each approximately 18 months old, so they are not yet toilet trained."

Oh, you lucky, lucky students.

"They are also teething, and half of them have developed colds as well."

He picked up one of the shrieking children and they stopped yelling immediately because he was a giant cheater. "In addition to keeping them alive--they're programmed to let me know if you neglect them in any way or lock them in a closet for the week--you must also take them out for regular exercise and to face the questions and stares of rude people who have Views on teenaged parents."

Or at least teenaged parents hauling around terrifying robots. "This is a practical ethical exercise: you must decide if it's morally correct to give the child nothing but cookies just because it will shut her up for ten minutes, or marathon Curious George for ten hours because it means the baby isn't climbing your bookshelf or dropping your phone into the toilet."

Anakin enjoyed this class far, far, far too much.

"Come up and pick up your child and tell me his or her name. It's your first ethical choice: if you name it something horrifying, that will probably come back to bite you."

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Karina wasn't exactly jumping for joy but unlike some of her classmates she wasn't hating everything about this. These babies sounded pretty advanced but it was a pretty normal school assignment all things considered.

"It's a boy 'bot, right?" she double-checked. "If so, I'll name it Ethan."

Mostly because, well, why not? It was a name.

"He is," Anakin confirmed, handing out one of the squalling youngsters. "Have a fun week!"

He really did enjoy this far too much.

"Thanks," she said dryly, taking the baby awkwardly and patting him on the back. She suspected that the week would be fun only for him. "Oh! Do we get docked marks if we need to grab a babysitter?"

Karina studied her so-called child. Who was wailing miserably. Ugh.

"Does cold medicine do anything for them? If they're sick, I mean."

She wasn't sure, okay.

Anakin shook his head. "Children under two aren't supposed to have any. It makes for a delightful week for their caretakers. And babysitters are fine. If you hire them for the entire week, well...you're not really experiencing the point of the exercise."

"I hope you're not offended by this but you know you're a terrible person for this, right?" She grinned, a bit ruefully, at him. "I don't know much about kids," she admitted. "Only child, you know? And good to know about the babysitter, though I wasn't going to hire one for the week. Just an evening or two, if that was fine."

"I'm a father of four," Anakin said. "If I were really terrible, I'd make you keep them until Christmas."

Keep telling yourself that, Anakin. "And an evening or two off is fine."

"Nah, you'd probably miss them before that," Karina said, grinning a little more. "And thanks for clarifying."

Ethics [Tuesday, November 12, 2013]

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