fandomhigh | Ethics [Tuesday, November 12, 2013]

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ethics

Ethics [Tuesday, November 12, 2013]

Do you hear the sound of robotic screaming, class?

Do you have a very bad feeling about this?

Good. It's terrifying robot toddler week!

"Good morning, class," Anakin said loudly, a slightly fiendish smile on his face. "You each get one of these delightful children to care for this week."

The delightful children were all shrieking their scary faces red. "Each of them has been programmed to be able to walk, climb, and knows a few words, but tend to communicate mostly by yelling and pointing." And throwing things if you guess wrong. "They're each approximately 18 months old, so they are not yet toilet trained."

Oh, you lucky, lucky students.

"They are also teething, and half of them have developed colds as well."

He picked up one of the shrieking children and they stopped yelling immediately because he was a giant cheater. "In addition to keeping them alive--they're programmed to let me know if you neglect them in any way or lock them in a closet for the week--you must also take them out for regular exercise and to face the questions and stares of rude people who have Views on teenaged parents."

Or at least teenaged parents hauling around terrifying robots. "This is a practical ethical exercise: you must decide if it's morally correct to give the child nothing but cookies just because it will shut her up for ten minutes, or marathon Curious George for ten hours because it means the baby isn't climbing your bookshelf or dropping your phone into the toilet."

Anakin enjoyed this class far, far, far too much.

"Come up and pick up your child and tell me his or her name. It's your first ethical choice: if you name it something horrifying, that will probably come back to bite you."

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SERIOUSLY, ANAKIN?

(First person to sign in gets a boy baby, second gets a girl...)

Flick

Emma Swan

Karina Lyle

Chaz Villette

Scott McCall

Cordelia Chase

Mira

Exchange terrifying glances with your classmates, decide on a name...

Emma looked shockingly unenthused by this assignment.

Okay, Scott had a total soft spot for cute things, which usually included babies and small children...

This? This was not cute. There was 0% cute here. Gah.

Tell Anakin what you have named the darling little cherub.

Flick had spent the entire class glaring. He was pretty sure his face was going to be stuck like that for a few hours. He didn't want a kid, robot or not.

"I've named it Mud," Flick decided because it was the first thing that came to mind. "It's a family name."

It wasn't.

Anakin looked extremely dubious about that. "Sure it is," he said, handing over a baby boy with ~~creepily staring~~ large green eyes. "Here you go. Don't kill him."

Flick snorted and took the kid with a shake of his head. He hated this assignment so much already.

Three guesses who wasn't actually making any move whatsoever to go collect a creepy robot.

"Come and get your assignment, please, Miss Swan," Anakin said, holding out one of the girls.

"Don't need it." Emma crossed her arms and tucked her hands up under her armpits, just in case Anakin hadn't gotten the message about her willingness to do this assignment. "I already know how people cope with kids they think are too much trouble."

Like leaving them beside a freeway, or handing them back easier than returning a too-small sweater. You didn't even need a receipt.

"How some people do," Anakin corrected. "Do it better."

"No." Sorry, Anakin, you were dealing with fifteen years worth of damage and trauma here. "I'm not going to pretend to care for a kid I don't want for money."

Marks, she'd meant to say marks.

"There's no money inv--" It finally dawned on Anakin what was going on, and he left the squalling robots to get closer to Emma.

"People can be really terrible at caring for children," he said quietly. "Believe me, I know. I have no idea about who my father might be and while my mother did her best...we were slaves. If I got hurt, Watto was more upset that his investment got roughed up. I don't think he remembered I was a living being most of the time. Sounds familiar?"

Edited 2013-11-13 07:13 (UTC)

Emma kept her dumb mouth clamped shut, because she'd already said too much, but she nodded once, roughly.

"Okay," he said softly. "This is an exercise also to prepare you all for when unexpected children show up around prom, so that some of your classmates won't act like complete--" little shits, "--jerks when confronted with an actual kid. How about you try this for a few days? If it gets to be too much, I have office hours on Thursday and you can bring the baby back."

Emma wasn't going to think about the 'kids showing up around prom' part, but she nodded again. "Okay."

Karina wasn't exactly jumping for joy but unlike some of her classmates she wasn't hating everything about this. These babies sounded pretty advanced but it was a pretty normal school assignment all things considered.

"It's a boy 'bot, right?" she double-checked. "If so, I'll name it Ethan."

Mostly because, well, why not? It was a name.

"He is," Anakin confirmed, handing out one of the squalling youngsters. "Have a fun week!"

He really did enjoy this far too much.

"Thanks," she said dryly, taking the baby awkwardly and patting him on the back. She suspected that the week would be fun only for him. "Oh! Do we get docked marks if we need to grab a babysitter?"

Karina studied her so-called child. Who was wailing miserably. Ugh.

"Does cold medicine do anything for them? If they're sick, I mean."

She wasn't sure, okay.

Anakin shook his head. "Children under two aren't supposed to have any. It makes for a delightful week for their caretakers. And babysitters are fine. If you hire them for the entire week, well...you're not really experiencing the point of the exercise."

"I hope you're not offended by this but you know you're a terrible person for this, right?" She grinned, a bit ruefully, at him. "I don't know much about kids," she admitted. "Only child, you know? And good to know about the babysitter, though I wasn't going to hire one for the week. Just an evening or two, if that was fine."

"I'm a father of four," Anakin said. "If I were really terrible, I'd make you keep them until Christmas."

Keep telling yourself that, Anakin. "And an evening or two off is fine."

"Nah, you'd probably miss them before that," Karina said, grinning a little more. "And thanks for clarifying."

"Can I get away with naming it Creepy?" Mira checked. "Because that's really what I'm getting from it."

Call it a 'him,' Mira. It's a boy.

"Him," Anakin said. "Is that a family name too?"

Flick.

No, he won't take the kid back no matter how much you bribe him with.

The babies are programmed to cry at least four hours a day. They will shut up if you watch Curious George with them, but will start screaming if you turn it off.

They also hate Elmo.

The babies now look like Renesmee because Nic is evil and it's all her fault.

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Ethics [Tuesday, November 12, 2013]

Sign in [11/12]

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Listen to the lecture [11/12]

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Pick up your kid!

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Talk to Anakin

OOC