fandomhigh | How To Steal A Princess

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how to steal a princess

How To Steal A Princess - 4th Period, Friday

If the classroom felt colder than usual today, well, you'd be correct. Congratulations, you win absolutely nothing at all. Other than the satisfaction of being right. Which, let's be honest, isn't much of a prize at all.

Sorry.

"I---" There was a pause that went on a little too long to really be dramatic. Even though drama was the plan. "--Am the Ice King!"

Be awed by his crown, you little nerds. He had a lot of dramatic swagger to do in order to make Doom and Skywalker seem like small-fries on the crazy scale.

"And this is How to Steal a Princess. At which I'm an expert. And none of you are," he added snidely. "Any of you stolen a princess? I didn't think so."

A little penguin waddled out with a sheet of paper resting on it's head for him, standing patiently until he noticed it. "Oh, thank you, Gunter. This is Gunter. He will be the TA because none of you can be trusted to not narc on me to the heroes on island. Yeah, I'm talking to you in the back."

Distinct possibility that there was no one in the back.

"We're going to see who you people are and why you want to steal a princess. Because not just any schlub can do it. You need to be able to romance that fine filly. Otherwise, the stealing is completely pointless."

Case in point: Ice King was princess-less.

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Coooooold. So coooooold.

Liara T'Soni

Emma Swan

Raven Darkholme

Marasiah Fel

Cade

Jackson Whittemore

Mira

Danny Vasquez

4/10 on drama. He's no Doom.

However you want!

"My name is Liara T'Soni," Liara said, her voice unsure. "I am not entirely sure what I am doing in this class."

Who did, Liara? Who did indeed?

"To learn how to steal princesses," the Ice King replied. "It's right there in the title, Liara funny-name."

"I... assumed it was a euphemism," Liara said carefully. "You cannot steal people."

"Oh, I assure you. You can." But should you? Such was the moral quandary.

"No, you cannot," Liara said, disagreeing none too respectfully. "That is called abduction."

"...what's your point?"

"It is against the law?"

He continued to stare, waiting for the point to be made. Because c'mon. He was the Ice King here. Rules were for nerds like Finn and Jake.

"If we do as you ask," Liara said, a little patiently, "We will be arrested. And that is without mentioning how severely morally questionable this is. You cannot own a person."

Yes, Ice King, get ready. She was going to be that asari.

"I'm not owning them. I'm stealing them." It was totally different!

"I'm Emma, I think there's been a mistake."

One day Emma would look in the mirror and realise she didn't need to learn how to steal a princess, she was one all along.

WHY DID HE WANT TO STEAL YOU, EMMA?

"What kind of mistake?" Because it clearly couldn't be his class.

It was the hair, her pretty, pretty princess hair.

"Because why would you want to steal a princess?"

It was full of secrets.

"You've lost me." Why wouldn't you?

That's why it was so ~~big~~ long and flowing.

"Well, what are you going to do once you've stolen one?" Emma asked. "You can't fence them."

"Well, you marry them." A beat. "Or whatever if you're not into being tied down."

"Here's the thing," Emma said. "I don't think a princess who you've stolen is going to want to marry you."

She wouldn't.

"They might!" They so didn't.

"I don't think that'd happen."

At least one out of two princesses in this class disagreed with you, Ice King.

You weren't even that pretty, Fairytale Princess!

"They will once I make my smooth moves."

She was the prettiest he was going to meet any time soon. ~~Sorry, Sia.~~

"Like kidnapping them?"

"Raven Darkholme," said Raven. "And I'm pretty sure I'm here because my brother thinks he's funny."

Charles made an easy scapegoat.

"I'm Marasiah Fel, and I did not sign up for this class," she said, helpfully.

Kark it, if you drove Cade to having to wear sleeves, you were gonna have to pay for the shirt, Ice King.

"I'm Cade and I'm thinking of being a bounty hunter when I get sprung from this place, and kidnapping princesses is good money."

Sorry Sia, but not really.

"I'm Mira and I'm really only here in case I ever have to bring in a princess for a bounty," Mira said. She officially had no idea how this class was going to turn out aside from 'strangely.'

"I'm Danny Vasquez," said Danny, hoisting up both his thumbs in a general acknowledgement of how cool he was, "and I don't think I really need help stealing a princess. True, I've never done it, but I've stolen plenty of hearts. Never hurts to hone your game, you read me, bro?"

And, while the Ice King asked the question, his expressive brows and an approving glance around the room let it be known that his answer was alllll for the ladies in the room.

And Gunter. Awww, Gunter.

This took forever. Damn LJ.

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How To Steal A Princess - 4th Period, Friday

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Listen to the Lecture

Introduce Yourselves

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Talk to the Teacher

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