fandomhigh | Practical Etiquette [Thursday, July 25, 2013, 2nd period]

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Practical Etiquette [Thursday, July 25, 2013, 2nd period]

If the Danger Shop today smelled like popcorn and spilled soda that was because Josh had decided to take you all to the movies!

If you were afraid, it was because you were very, very smart.

"All you want to do is go to the theater, plonk down your forty bucks and see a movie while drinking a vat of soda and swimming in a small pool of popcorn," Josh said, "as is what I'm pretty sure is your Constitutional right."

It wasn't.

"But then other people have to come to the theater too and ruin everything. Your task today: get yourself a snack and sit through the previews and a movie without killing anyone nearby. It's gonna be harder than it sounds."

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Movie day!

Jim Kirk

Marasiah Fel

Mercy Thompson

Bay Kennish

Alec Lightwood

Surreal SaDiablo

Alex Aaron

Mordin Solus

Alexandra Jones

Without smacking, stabbing, or kicking anyone and getting caught.

Alec Lightwood: The person in front of you is trying to pick up tickets with what must be the wrong credit card because he's been there five solid minutes and his tickets aren't printing out. Your movie starts in another five and you still need popcorn...
Alex Aaron: The counterperson just doused your popcorn in the butter stuff when you specifically said not to do that.
Alexandra Jones: The couple next to you in the theater is making out and keeps smacking your arm rest.
Bay Kennish: The girl next to you is still talking on her phone and the previews have just ended.
Emily Thorne: A couple has come into the theater with a loudly shrieking child and is making no moves to shut it up.
Jim Kirk: The kid behind you is kicking your chair.
Marasiah Fel: The couple behind you won't stop talking through the movie and keep saying really insightful things like "he's getting out of his car now" when the character is getting out of his car. You've already shushed them once.
Mercy Thompson: You have entered the theater with a group of four friends and everyone in the place has spread out so there are plenty of single seats available but not five together.
Mordin Solus: The child behind you has finished all of his popcorn during the previews and is now whining loudly about how he's staaaaaaaaaaaarving.
Shira: You're by the door and halfway through the movie a pair of teenagers are clearly sneaking into a movie they haven't paid for.
Surreal SaDiablo: The woman in the middle of the row with the world's tiniest bladder has gone past you four times now and the movie hasn't even started.
William Murdoch: The person in front of you in line is trying to pay for his one movie ticket with a hundred dollar bill.

He couldn't flirt his way out of this one. For awhile, he tried to ignore the incessant kicking but after about the sixty seventh time of getting jerked forward, Jim was done with it.

He figured he could have just gotten up and moved but he didn't want to. So, he turned around and gave the kid his most winning smile.

"Hey man, if you stop kicking my chair and manage not to do it for the rest of the movie, I'll buy you whatever you want from the snack bar outside. And I mean whatever you want. But, you can't kick anymore. That'll kill the deal, all right?"

Bribery. It worked more than most people thought.

She looked around and looked around and finally found a place where only a couple of people would have to shift to give her group five seats together.

Then she let a little bit of the predator show in her eyes as she asked them politely if they'd all move down. They stared at her for a brief second, not sure why this girl suddenly seemed so scary, then moved. The couple at the end actually decided they really weren't in the mood to watch this movie after all and fled.

See? Growing up with werewolves had some advantages!

Bay started small, by clearing her throat. The girl had to be wrapping this up, right?

The girl kept chatting away.

"Excuse me," she said, and was utterly ignored. Apparently there was a sale at Old Navy that had to be discussed, oh em gee.

"Excuse me," Bay repeated more loudly, tapping the girl on her arm. "The movie's about to start. Are you brain damaged or something?"

The girl finally signed off, glaring at Bay as she did. Apparently, she thought Bay was the rude one.

"Trade," Surreal said firmly, before the woman could try and squeeze past her a fifth time. "I think that male in the coat will start yelling at you if you step on him again, so you take my seat and I'll take yours."

Of course, the woman started yelling, and then the other people started yelling, and the usher ended up throwing most of the people in the row out of the theater.

So now Surreal had a whole half-row to herself. Score.

Alex liked the butter stuff, so he considered just chalking this one up as a win and going on, but he decided to at least go with the spirit of the class. "Excuse me," he said politely, "but I asked for no butter?" The counterperson just shrugged, and Alex sighed, "Fine, whatever," and took his popcorn.

Now it was a win.

Politely?

Mercy was looking more than a little pleased with herself.

"I think it worked fine." That was because you had no regard for other people's feelings, Surreal.

Who at least would turn their cell phones to vibrate, good God people, you're not waiting on a message from the President.

This was why private home cinemas were a thing. After all if you were going to overpay for everything, might as well get your money's worth.

Lex left a cup from the Perk next to Josh's seat. Black, two sugars.

"Oh em gee," Nonny said ironically because she didn't actually understand irony. "They have actual classes too? Not as cool as fake blood. And I'm pretty sure they could have picked hotter teachers."

Sorry she's not sorry.

Josh arched up an eyebrow. "And you are?"

Other than "rude much", naturally.

"Chyah, like I'm going to fall for that." SHE WAS SMARTER THAN YOU SILLY CHARACTERS.

Well, it was a class on being polite, so Josh was going to try to, you know, do that.

"Okay, then I'll call you Skippy," he said. "Are you lost, Skippy?"

Nonny rolled her eyes at him. "Where are the hot teachers? I don't really like old guys."

"Hey!" Josh protested. "I'm hot! And I'm not old."

"Okay, grandpa. Make sure to drink your prune juice. You're like... Bel old." That was super old, Josh.

"I taught him, I think..."

Not helping your case here, Josh.

"And I'm not a grandpa. I don't even have a cat!"

"Oh my god, just being near you is giving me wrinkles."

Sorry, Josh. Teenage girls are pretty much weapons of mass emotional destruction.

"Don't let me stop you from leaving then," Josh said dryly.

"Why don't they have Eric teach? I'm sure he'd be shirtless."

And hot. Mostly hot.

"I think because he catches fire if he goes outside in the daytime," Josh said. "Undead Americans do that."

"Well, that's lame," Nonny replied. "Can't the writers change stuff so it's like when Angel was on island?"

"I think that they're different kinds of vamp--wait, what do you mean, 'writers'?" Josh asked.

"The writers," Nonny said, like he was a slow child. "You know. Of the show? God, are you, like, method acting or something? Is this a Tom Hiddleston thing? That's so lame."

"Which show?" Josh asked.

"Fandom. Duh."

"Is it Big Block of Cheese Day and no one told me?" Josh demanded.

I'm discovering that I have a lot of buried rage about people as I write this class...

Re: Marasiah's issue...

I'm pretty sure that if she shushes them two more times, she then has the right to kill them with a big stick. That's what Dave Barry says anyway!

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Practical Etiquette [Thursday, July 25, 2013, 2nd period]

Sign in [7/25]

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Try to see a movie!

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Bitch about people!

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Talk to Josh or Lex!

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OOC

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