fandomhigh | Personal Improvement Through Science: Aperture Science Presents Physical Education (Wed/Per 2)

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Personal Improvement Through Science: Aperture Science Presents Physical Education (Wed/Per 2)

Caroline didn't want to be in charge here today; she'd much rather have been back at the main facility back in Michigan, overseeing her usual round of experiments, but for whatever reason -- and she didn't ask -- Mr. Johnson had asked her to do this. Apparently, he'd left detailed instructions on the mainframe computer in the office she'd been assigned -- which she must have been up all night going over, since she woke up in the office. Not a new occurrence, honestly. (In reality, GLaDOS had just recreated one of Aperture's old test chambers from archived plans and was about to give it a modernized facelift when Fandom's latest quirk had kicked in.)

Well, if it was in the name of science she wouldn't really object, and besides, she knew how lucky she was to get to do as much hands-on work at the labs as she did. Not many 18-year-olds, especially women, got that opportunity. And to be running a pilot project like this, a test run for the program they planned to start now that they'd gotten that big shower-curtain manufacturing deal with Eisenhower's Department of Defense? That was a lot of pressure in itself, which explained the nervous demeanor of the young woman standing by the door in the entry corridor, wearing a crisp white lab coat with the Aperture Science Innovators logo neatly embroidered on the lapel, clipboard gripped tightly in one hand. It was nice to know Mr. Johnson had that much confidence in his fledgling personal assistant, but that only made her more determined to do the job well.

"Hi, everyone," she said, enthusiastically if quietly. (Remember, Caroline, just keep playing along like it's really a class, she reminded herself.) "The usual . . . um, administrator couldn't be here today so Mr. Johnson sent me to cover. It looks like you'll be working with repulsion gel today -- you're familiar with that already, it says, so if you've got your Portable Quantum Tunneling Devices ready?"

She opened the door to the test chamber and gestured for them to step inside.

"Go ahead and begin. I'll be monitoring you from the observation room."

[OOC: Remember, if a future you appears in the post, ~~don't let it do anything before the OCD's done~~ the OCD's done, but don't make eye contact anyway. Time paradoxes are detrimental to science.]

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Like it's really weird to have an actual person teaching class today.

Korra

Evan Sabahnur

Victor Mancha

Stiles Stilinski

Susan Sto Helit

Topher Brink

Ace McShane

Billy Kaplan

Jackson Whittemore

Hanna Marin

Jessica Drew

Richie Ryan

These are the same as always: modern look and all. Their purpose is also the same as always.

Otherwise known as the traditional time to WTF at the teacher. At least when Fandom has one of these weeks. There isn't even a lighted sign this week, but there is a beat-up poster telling you cake is tasty (http://half-life.wikia.com/wiki/Aperture_Science?file=Cake_picture.png) on the wall just inside the door. Because the taunting is a universal constant.

Edited 2012-11-28 07:25 (UTC)

No fancy computerized panels for you today! This test chamber (http://theportalwiki.com/wiki/Portal_2_Chapter_6_Enrichment_Sphere_1) is all greyish-green concrete and everything looks like it was built by hand. Even the Weighted Storage Cubes look like white wooden crates with metal reinforced edges. Because that's what they are.

There's a pit coated with blue repulsion gel in the center of this room, a pair of high platforms flanking two sides of it, and an old-fashioned, square, metal version of a Vital Apparatus Vent in the ceiling. There's also a pair of sliding metal doors underneath the EXIT sign that you'll need to open. Bounce across the pit and portal yourself up to the first high ledge where there's a large square button. Step on it and the exit doors will open, but you'll need a cube to put on it. Hey, there's a small button pedestal on the opposite platform! Bounce across the pit to hit the button and drop a cube, then head back down to floor level to retrieve it and put it on the large square button. Now you can use the repulsion gel pit one last time to cross over to the exit and actually leave this section!

(In short: boingy boingy boingy.)

Evan would actually get around to finishing this part of the course eventually, sure. After all, if this was what the first room was like, he was definitely looking forward to the second.

But if he lingered for a while at the huge pit of repulsion gel just so that he could bounce back and forth across it a few more times than strictly necessary, would anybody blame him?

So basically this was like a really cool inside playground. It seemed a little more low-tech, but the bouncing made it worth it.

Actually, the exit took you up a short staircase and into another room with a giant splotch of repulsion gel in the middle of the floor. Here you'll have to portal your way up to a moving platform, snag the cube on the ledge as the platform passes by it, then set the cube on the button to flip a portal-holding panel around, high up on the wall. Portal yourself through that panel so the gel bounces you high enough to get to the upper platform. Now you get to cross from one ledge to the other to get that cube by bouncing yourself back and forth off the repulsion gel on the walls. Put that cube on that button (careful not to take the cube through the Emancipation Grill there) to reveal yet another panel even higher up. Go through that one to bounce off the repulsion gel, and it'll propel you up to the top platform and the exit!

And you're done.

Edited 2012-11-28 07:20 (UTC)

Showers might be a good idea after all that repulsion gel.

"Oh, in case you got covered in that repulsion gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me: do not get covered in the repulsion gel. We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this: it's a lively one -- and it does not like the human skeleton."

After class, she'll be in the corridor outside the locker rooms with her clipboard again.

Oh yes, Caroline was getting approached. By a Topher who was still picking repulsion gel out of his hair, yes. Hush.

"So... what's the deal with GLaDOS?"

"With who?" Caroline asked, blinking at him in confusion; it was a good couple of decades before the GLaDOS project would even go into developmental stages. "Is Gladys the --"

Maintain the pretense that it was a class, right.

"Usually your teacher?"

"Yeah, is she glitching or something?" Topher pressed. "Because if so, I was gonna volunteer to help out."

Meanwhile, he was wondering how many ruthless AIs Aperture had, for one of their scientists to just forget her like that.

That actually did sound like the kind of thing Cave and some of the 'lab boys' would say when a test subject got injured or was underperforming.

"You sound like some of our scientists," Caroline said with a brief laugh; she hadn't quite gotten used to some aspects of Aperture's brand of humor yet. (Give her a few decades. She'd turn it into an art form eventually.) "You'd probably fit right in at the labs in a few years. And I'm not sure -- I didn't even know we had an employee named Gladys. I'm not even sure why my boss chose to send me here today."

"You think?" Topher asked, preening. "Thanks! I really want to apply there. Or what's-it-called, the other one." Black Mesa, Topher. AND THAT WAS AN EQUALLY BAD PLAN. "So wait, what's your job? I figured with the lab coat and all..."

Caroline frowned a bit at the mention of Black Mesa, but if she had any biting commentary on the subject she kept it to herself, choosing instead to say, "Black Mesa? You don't want to work for them."

She straightened a bit and smoothed down the lapels of her lab coat so the (very old-fashioned) lab logo was prominently visible, looking quite pleased, and a bit proud. "I'm the personal assistant to the CEO, Mister Cave Johnson. He even lets me handle some of the more important projects." She gestured toward the door with her clipboard. "Like this one."

Oops.

"Branching out into the educational fields is a new thing for us." That was their story, and she was sticking to it,

"Well, their tech isn't as cool," Topher conceded. HE WAS SUCH A NERD. "GLaDOS never mentioned a CEO-- hang on, wait, this is important to you guys?"

Aww, the naive little genius had thought it was just a class.

"We're interested in working with the best and brightest minds at Aperture," Caroline replied immediately, glad she could fall back on standard company talking points for this; it meant less scrambling for things to say. "Why not contribute to making sure those minds have a good academic foundation to start from?"

Never mind that it was ostensibly a gym class. That is not Aperture logic.

"I mean, it seems like PR charity stuff," Topher reasoned. Incorrectly, but, well, that happened. "You know, like splurging AI resources to educate the masses or whatever? And it looks like you guys are all considerate?" He was pretty sure that happened. Maybe. "Oh, wait, are you doing the thing where you act like that's a crazy big deal to seem even more... PR-y?"

Because Cave Johnson did public relations or something.

Ha ha.

"I'm just doing my job," Caroline told him. Her job, which was science. SCIENCE. "PR isn't my department, but that's why we have programs like the Aperture Self-Esteem Fund For Girls. This is a public service."

Lies, of course.

"If you say so," Topher said dubiously, but he didn't care enough to press it. "...Wait, self-esteem? That's the lamest-sounding charity ever."

"Maybe you think so," Caroline replied with a flash of defensiveness, "but you wouldn't be speaking from experience, would you?"

Maybe that hit a little close to home, but then again . . . it did sound pretty dubious.

"Nope, my self-esteem is impeccable." Uh, sometimes. Usually, even. But certainly not always. "What, was the charity your idea or something?"

"It's not mine, it's Mister Johnson's," Caroline said immediately. Actually it was highly likely he'd stolen it from someone else, but she was loyal enough not to say so. "He likes being innovative in a lot of different fields."

Yes, that was what they were calling it.

This is an actual level from Portal 2! Here's a video walkthrough (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Bb30T0R3xMA#at=73) for reference.

I will be on and off while I explore Portland today (whee!), but down with SP should you want to talk to the teenage version of GLaDOS's human component. (The ancient IBM 702 mainframe in her office, that is the teenage version of her computer component, isn't advanced enough for speech. Aw.)

This PB was chosen purely for the sake of an obscure joke, mmkay.

I adore you <3

Because you are one of the maybe three people who get it.

I was REALLY REALLY HOPING you would give us teen!Caroline. <3 <3 <3

Also I'm super disturbed that I knew exactly what level this was.

Edited 2012-11-28 14:19 (UTC)

Admittedly I didn't even think about it until I sat down to write class last night and decided it'd go well with the retro-level theme. Maybe being sleep-deprived isn't such a bad thing!

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Personal Improvement Through Science: Aperture Science Presents Physical Education (Wed/Per 2)

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