fandomhigh | Personal Improvement Through Science: Aperture Laboratories Presents Physical Education (Wed/Per. 2)

Upon entering the classroom through the circular sliding doors, students would find themselves in a short corridor with a plain white wall at the far end and two much more boring rectangular doors on either side, each one labeled ENRICHMENT CENTER PRE-TEST EQUIPMENT REQUISITION CHAMBER. At least the little figures on each sign matched the kind you might find on any public restroom door if you needed to know which one to use.

Behind each of those doors was a locker room: much fancier and cleaner -- you could even say sterile -- than an ordinary locker room. (You know, like the locker rooms in the school gym, which begged the question of why exactly physical education was meeting here, didn't it? Well, that question was irrelevant to the task at hand: namely changing into . . . not exactly typical gym wear.) Each student would find a locker with their name on a placard that read "The enclosed Vital Testing Apparatus is mandatory. Thank you for helping us help you help us all!" Each locker contained a bright orange jumpsuit and white tank top, as well as a pair of high-tech-looking white boots. Look, kids, just be glad you got actual locker rooms with walls. Most test subjects just got to wake up from suspended animation in a clear glass cubicle. The locker rooms did have one thing in common with Relaxation Vaults, though: if you flushed any of the toilets, they would cheerfully inform you that your business was appreciated.

After ten minutes or so, a chime rang out over the PA system -- yes, in the locker rooms -- and a prerecorded voice, pleasant and apparently male, announced, "Once preparations are complete, please proceed to the testing area entrance."

On cue, but without explanation, a blue oval hole suddenly materialized in the middle of the wall at the far end of the corridor. Through the door-sized hole, another, larger room was clearly visible.

Well then.

"Welcome to the Enrichment Computer-Aided Satellite Learning Center," said a second voice, this one slightly electronic, monotonous, and female, coming from well-concealed speakers once students had entered the main chamber. You did walk through the glowing blue portal, right, kids? Because if you did, you'd realize that you were standing on a platform about twenty feet above the floor, where you could look down and across the room at the blue portal you just stepped through. As a matter of fact, you could see the locker room corridor through it, and any classmates who might have been behind you standing there . . . until they emerged through the orange portal behind you. Mounted high on the wall near the orange portal was a white surveillance camera with a blinking red LED, because that wasn't creepy at all. "As a preliminary exercise, please state your name and class year. This activity will serve to confirm our testing roster."

There was a brief pause. "In addition, any conversation that may occur as a result of this preliminary exercise will be a valuable bonding experience." A chirping sort of beep. "Sarcasm self-test complete."

"I'm kidding about the bonding experience," the voice went on, sounding much less digital now, closer to human, and even conversational -- if condescending. "I really don't care about that. Do that on your own time, somewhere far away from me. Oh. What I said just now wasn't sarcasm, by the way, unlike the last thing. Just clarifying that in case you're incapable of telling the difference. I wasn't kidding about the testing roster, though, so get on with the names, if you have them. After that, we can start."

[OOC: OCD is up. Have at.]

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"None of us are," Tony replied, trying to pinpoint where the speakers were. Because he'd been stalked by one AI too many, damn it.

"Oh so this isn't a normal thing then?" Stiles asked. Look, he wasn't assuming anything about this place anymore.

"Well..." Look, it happened sometimes. "Unless we find out the teacher just has a really weird sense of humor and is hiding on us, I'm assuming the worst of the situation."

Female AIs, man. This is why he needed a sassy British guy for his.

"Very wise," Stiles said with a nod. "Optimism and disembodied voices shouldn't mix."

He had seen enough robot overlord movies to know it was a dumb idea.

"On the plus side, I'm pretty sure they can't kill the students, so..." Because Fandom was the kind of school where that was a legitimate concern.

"Pretty sure?" That wasn't sure enough!

Tony at least had the good grace to look sheepish about that. "Well, someone would avenge us at least. I'm pretty sure Mr. Rogers would avenge me."

"You know Mr. Rogers?"

Not that Mr. Rogers, Stiles.

No, but that would be pretty awesome if he did...

"Well, yeah. He's teaching me self defense." A beat. "Wait, do you guys have one where you're from too?"

Captain America was freakin' EVERYWHERE.

"Depends, are we talking about the guy who wears sweaters and randomly has a puppet world in his house?" Wow, that show sounded ridiculous when explained out loud.

"Whoa, no. Wrong Mr. Rogers," Tony replied quickly. "One I'm talking about is from World War II."

That didn't clarify things at all.

"Oh! Well that makes more sense." Did it, Stiles? Did it? "Cool that you have an old guy avenging you."

Run away, Stiles! The 'logic' of Marvel will suck you in and make you cry!

"He's... not that old. There was apparently some cryogenic stasis involved. And no, I have no clue how that happened in World War II."

IT WAS AN ICEBERG, TONY. STEVE ROGERS WAS THE AVATAR.

"Dude, I didn't even know cryogenic stasis was a thing now!" Stiles exclaimed. "Well, I mean, I had a sneaking suspicion it was for people with more money than me, but it's kept secret in some CIA vault."

"Oh yeah, totally. It's just a matter of how you thaw the person without rupturing all their cells."

What the hell, Tony.

"That's a thing that can happen?" Stiles asked. "Somehow that is both horrifying and cool at the same time."

"Oh yeah, it's like when a soda can explodes when you put it in the freezer."

That was a horrifying mental image, Tony. Horrifying.

"Congratulations, you just put me off soda for life." Or for the afternoon, whichever.

"It's a gift I have."

"Try to use your powers for good instead of evil next time," Stiles said. "Though some might argue I should cut back on the caffeine."

"They would be so very wrong about that," Tony replied. "If I could, I'd have an IV of the stuff."

SOMEWHERE A DOCTOR WAS CRYING.

"That would be the dream," Stiles said with a sigh. "It'd be great until your heart exploded."

"Been there, done that. Got the scars as a souvenir."

It was possible he was at the punch drunk point of sleep deprivation.

"That's not a metaphor, is it?" See, Stiles, you were learning!

Tony tapped his chest, ringing oddly metal in the spot right over his heart. "You get used to this sort of thing here. A think of it as being a cyborg. Which is pretty cool."

Not superhero cool, but close enough.

Re: In the Corridor [PItS Week 1]

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