Childcare for Dummies [Thursday, June 21, 2012]

[sith_happened]

When the students arrived in the Danger Shop for the last class, their teachers were nowhere to be seen. What *was* to be seen was an elaborate grocery store, carts shaped like cars (and don't think those wheels would point in the same direction the whole time. The teachers are not that nice), and a pair of irritated looking toddlers for each student.

Guess who wanted lunch and a nap. No, not you. The other ones.

Did everyone think that maybe this class would be an easy one since it was the last one? Ha! Your teachers had endless material for this class, kids. Endless.

"The grocery store. Or, as I like to call it, JAN, THAT IS NOT FOR CLIMBING ON," Deadpool informed the class gleefully.

Anakin materialized from behind a precariously stacked sculpture of canned pineapple. "Or 'How Fast Can I Get Out of Here Before Someone Starts Screaming?'"

That screaming person was generally not Juliet.

"Oooo, always a fun game!"

"We've given you a grocery list of fifteen items to find. Get out of the grocery store alive."

That was overdramatic, Anakin.

Or not dramatic enough. Deadpool shrugged at that. "Think if it as a zombie apocalypse movie where you need supplies. And the kid is the zombie. The zombie that has to pee right now."

Comments

Sign in [6/21]

[sith_happened]

Full of terror for the task in front of you. Or glee that you don't have to deal with these teachers again after this.

Re: Sign in [6/21]

[trickydemigod.livejournal.com]

Luke Castellan

Re: Sign in [6/21]

[suitably_heroic]

Atton Rand

THE GROCERY STORE

[sith_happened]

And the OCD. SO MUCH OCD.

Entering the Store

[sith_happened]

Make the stupid cart stop before it runs over the little old lady who INSISTS on stopping to read the sale flyer two steps inside the door.

Stupid little old lady.

Re: Entering the Store

[suitably_heroic]

Yeah, after yesterday's grand conversation with Sia, Atton really wasn't in the mood for this.

So his shopping cart ran over the old lady. Whoops. Just slipped. Honest.

Re: Entering the Store

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

"I am so sorry," Rilla gasped as her cart missed the little old lady and rolled into the flower display instead. "This thing is heavy!"

Re: Entering the Store

[twintuitionist.livejournal.com]

"Excuse me," Juliet tried.

Then, louder: "Excuse me!"

Then she just pushed past the old lady. Honestly, some people had no manners.

Re: Entering the Store

[dollpocalypse]

Topher sighed when he reached the obstacle that was Grandma over here, took a few steps back, and released the cart to wheel forward on its own.

The old lady yelped and moved away, waving her cane at him.

Good enough.

Re: Entering the Store

[serial-quitter.livejournal.com]

"Whoa! Watch it, lady!" Ryan shouted, managing to stop the cart just in time. She was rewarded with a nasty look from the old lady.

Re: Entering the Store

[inaskinnyway.livejournal.com]

So far this was simple. Susan didn't have to say anything, she just kept the cart as steady as she could and the old woman simply stepped out of the way without looking up.

Susan had that effect on people.

Produce Section

[sith_happened]

You need to buy strawberries. One kid is stealing an apple, the other is crying because the produce mister got him wet. Save the situation!

Re: Produce Section

[suitably_heroic]

"Don't do it like that, at least have the common decency to stuff it down your shirt," Atton said to child one.

"Sit at the front of the cart," Atton said to child two.

Then he drove the cart over to the recently-recovered old lady in front of the strawberry section and let the kid unleash the full fury of a temper tantrum. Cleared her out pretty fast, didn't it?

Re: Produce Section

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

Rilla, truth be told, had been a little started by the water spraying her as well, and had shrieked softly and jumped back.

"Maybe I'll come back for the strawberries...."

Re: Produce Section

[twintuitionist.livejournal.com]

"Honey, did you want me to get that for you?" Juliet asked the apple thief. Maybe this was a Jean Valjean thing and the right thing was to keep him from being hungry.

Getting an affirmative answer, she added the apple to her cart along with the strawberries. She ignored the crying kid -- that one wasn't as cute, and one person could only do so much.

Re: Produce Section

[dollpocalypse]

Topher took in the problem.

"Screw it, we'll just get strawberry ice cream instead," he decided. "They're basically the same."

And off he went, wheeling the cart briskly in front of him.

"I dropped my apple!" one of the kids whined.

"Don't care."

Re: Produce Section

[serial-quitter.livejournal.com]

"Well, now you know what they play that warning before the mister starts," Ryan told one crying toddler while trying to avoid the glares from other shoppers. She snatched the apple from the other child. "So, you want to get apples?"

"Nuh uh. I licked it and it tastes yucky!" squealed the other toddler.

Ryan groaned, chucked the apple in the cart and moved on. She'd have to come back to get the strawberries once the current crowd of shoppers had moved on from the produce section.

Cereal Aisle

[sith_happened]

No, they can't have the cereal with the creepy bird on it. Yes, they're crying about it.

And yes, people are staring at you.

Soda & Juice Aisle

[sith_happened]

This seems like a good place to learn what happens when you drop a bottle of Perrier, right?

Snack Food Aisle

[sith_happened]

Why did they put a giant display in the middle of this aisle? WHY? Get around it with your stupid cart without knocking everything over.

Frozen Food Section

[sith_happened]

Or the fight over what ice cream to buy. Enjooooy.

Dairy Aisle

[sith_happened]

THOSE YOGURTS ARE NOT FOR THROWING, CHILDREN.

CHECK OUT

[sith_happened]

With all the candy in the world being sold. And of course the woman in front of you has coupons. Somewhere. At the bottom of her purse. And the checkout girl is in training.

Don't kill them, the children or yourself.

Talk to the Teachers

[sith_happened]

They laugh at your pain. LAUGH AT IT.

OOC

[sith_happened]

I WILL MISS THIS CLASS SO MUCH.