fandomhigh | Childcare for Dummies [Thursday, June 21, 2012]

When the students arrived in the Danger Shop for the last class, their teachers were nowhere to be seen. What *was* to be seen was an elaborate grocery store, carts shaped like cars (and don't think those wheels would point in the same direction the whole time. The teachers are not that nice), and a pair of irritated looking toddlers for each student.

Guess who wanted lunch and a nap. No, not you. The other ones.

Did everyone think that maybe this class would be an easy one since it was the last one? Ha! Your teachers had endless material for this class, kids. Endless.

"The grocery store. Or, as I like to call it, JAN, THAT IS NOT FOR CLIMBING ON," Deadpool informed the class gleefully.

Anakin materialized from behind a precariously stacked sculpture of canned pineapple. "Or 'How Fast Can I Get Out of Here Before Someone Starts Screaming?'"

That screaming person was generally not Juliet.

"Oooo, always a fun game!"

"We've given you a grocery list of fifteen items to find. Get out of the grocery store alive."

That was overdramatic, Anakin.

Or not dramatic enough. Deadpool shrugged at that. "Think if it as a zombie apocalypse movie where you need supplies. And the kid is the zombie. The zombie that has to pee right now."

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Full of terror for the task in front of you. Or glee that you don't have to deal with these teachers again after this.

And the OCD. SO MUCH OCD.

Make the stupid cart stop before it runs over the little old lady who INSISTS on stopping to read the sale flyer two steps inside the door.

Stupid little old lady.

You need to buy strawberries. One kid is stealing an apple, the other is crying because the produce mister got him wet. Save the situation!

No, they can't have the cereal with the creepy bird on it. Yes, they're crying about it.

And yes, people are staring at you.

This seems like a good place to learn what happens when you drop a bottle of Perrier, right?

Why did they put a giant display in the middle of this aisle? WHY? Get around it with your stupid cart without knocking everything over.

Or the fight over what ice cream to buy. Enjooooy.

THOSE YOGURTS ARE NOT FOR THROWING, CHILDREN.

With all the candy in the world being sold. And of course the woman in front of you has coupons. Somewhere. At the bottom of her purse. And the checkout girl is in training.

Don't kill them, the children or yourself.

They laugh at your pain. LAUGH AT IT.

I WILL MISS THIS CLASS SO MUCH.

Luke Castellan

Atton Rand

Yeah, after yesterday's grand conversation with Sia, Atton really wasn't in the mood for this.

So his shopping cart ran over the old lady. Whoops. Just slipped. Honest.

"Don't do it like that, at least have the common decency to stuff it down your shirt," Atton said to child one.

"Sit at the front of the cart," Atton said to child two.

Then he drove the cart over to the recently-recovered old lady in front of the strawberry section and let the kid unleash the full fury of a temper tantrum. Cleared her out pretty fast, didn't it?

"I told you, if you're going to steal something, you have to stuff it under your shirt," Atton said, "And now shut the hell up or I'm stuffing you onto the next shelf I see."

That just got him more stares of the 'HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT TO A CHILD' variety.

He felt much better after that one.

"Whoops," said Atton, looking at the floor. "Guess I just have slippery hands."

After the third 'accident', most of the supermarket staff were giving him the kind of looks that could boil water.

Lex Luthor

"Whoops," Atton told the angry supermarket worker who came storming up to him three minutes later. "Hey, it's not my fault you put all the stuff I needed at the bottom of the pyramid, you brainless mynock."

Atton wound up putting half the contents of the freezer into his cart.

The kids would just have to deal with sitting on it.

"Keep throwing things!" Atton called, "It's good for you!"

By the time Atton got to check out, the area behind him was in shambles, the kids looked shell-shocked, and the coupon lady was more than happy to step aside and let him take point. And the checkout girl? Scrambling to get him his change.

Probably too much change. He didn't care. He was in a much better mood now.

Hey, you could take the boy out of the Sith, but some days, you just couldn't take the Sith out of the boy.

Edited 2012-06-21 15:30 (UTC)

Rilla Blythe

"I am so sorry," Rilla gasped as her cart missed the little old lady and rolled into the flower display instead. "This thing is heavy!"

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Childcare for Dummies [Thursday, June 21, 2012]

Sign in [6/21]

THE GROCERY STORE

Entering the Store

Produce Section

Cereal Aisle

Soda & Juice Aisle

Snack Food Aisle

Frozen Food Section

Dairy Aisle

CHECK OUT

Talk to the Teachers

OOC

Re: Sign in [6/21]

Re: Sign in [6/21]

Re: Entering the Store

Re: Produce Section

Re: Cereal Aisle

Re: Soda & Juice Aisle

Re: Sign in [6/21]

Re: Snack Food Aisle

Re: Frozen Food Section

Re: Dairy Aisle

Re: CHECK OUT

Re: Sign in [6/21]

Re: Entering the Store