fandomhigh | Diversity and You, Class #1, Period #2, May 7th

The woman standing in front of class looked mostly human. She had candy-pink skin that was too uniform to be a sunburn, and prominent horns sticking out of her forehead; the points of her ears just barely peeked out on either side of her head. Her hair was a bright fiery red, jutting upwards at implausible angles in proud streams. Other than that, she'd fit in at any corporate office, especially dressed as she was today, the white button-down shirt to the pencil skirt and the strappy black shoes. Give her a hat and a slight palette swap and no one would know the difference.

"First things first," Callie said. "Some of you may not want to be here. I don't care. I don't want to be here, but Daddy lied to me. Oh, by the way: if you're signing a contract with a demon? Get a lawyer to look over it. Maybe two. At any rate, I don't really feel like dealing with cranky teenagers this early in the morning, but apparently I can't kill any of you, so do your best to keep it to a dull roar. And unless you've got a better excuse than 'I was sent here by the Dark Lord and Ruler of Hell who is personally mocking me,' you're not getting out of class, and don't waste my time."

And a warm welcome to all of you!

"Now apparently this class is called 'Diversity and You,' a.k.a., some bleeding-heart touchy-feely garbage about how we're all different but we can try our best to hold hands and all get along anyway. Good for us. There, class is finished. I don't know how I'm supposed to stretch this out for the next several weeks, so I'd expect a lot of filler if I were you. It's not like I got to pick the subject. If I had, it would have been something interesting like 'Flaying 101: Finding the Right Tool for the Job.'"

She happened to collect weapons. She didn't judge your hobbies.

"I found out about this class on Saturday, so I haven't exactly had time to prepare anything, so let's be ridiculously cliche and do introductions. Tell everyone what species you are, although it looks like most of you are human." Except for the cat, at least ~~if Bucky was there~~. "If you're not human and you don't want to talk about it, just lie and say you are, or make up something else, and then, I don't know, tell us something interesting about yourself. And try to make it something actually interesting instead of just the fact that you play the harmonica, because nobody really cares about that. Although who knows, maybe someone else in class also plays the harmonica, even though you're human and she's secretly a flesh-eating bacteria sent here to destroy the world, and you'll end up having crazed sex in the hallway. Diversity."

If she eyerolled any harder, it might actually induce vomiting.

"So ... let's do that, and not think about how we're sitting here in class doing this and not something useful with our time, like opening the clothing store we came here to run that is just sitting there with all those crates of shoes unboxed." Someone was entirely not bitter, you guys.

"Oh, last thing, is there a See-fer ... Sigh-fer ... something like that, here?" she asked, holding up a scrap of paper she'd brought in with her. "I got this notice, something about being assigned a graduate student as a TA. And apparently I can make one of you a TA as well. Is that anything like a minion? Anyone want to be a minion? I won't take your soul. I'll even put it in writing."

She was being sincere. You had to have your parents' permission to sell your soul, if you were under eighteen. And that was probably just as frowned on as killing students, anyway.

(please wait for OCD!)

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"W--I'm Sholeh Zeela a Zhahar." This whole topic of species and demons had Sholeh so nervous she'd nearly went and used the plural again. "I'm human, of course--" and that was said with a darted glance at their teacher to see if she'd say anything, "--and, I, umm...don't really have anything interesting to say." Because all of the things that might make her interesting at a place like Fandom were all things she was Strictly Not Allowed To Talk About.

And maybe if she was very, very lucky, the floor would open up right now and swallow her whole.

Callie wasn't exactly sure what kind of vibe she was getting from this girl, but she knew a panicky nervous glance when she saw one. And she could bluff with the best of them. It came from negotiating with her father.

"Really?" Callie asked, as faux-sweetly as possible. "You don't have anything interesting? All of these other ..." the pause here was slight, perhaps not even noticeable to the other students, but just long enough to be excruciating "... humans could come up with something about their boring selves. I'm sure you can if you try."

Edited 2012-05-07 21:28 (UTC)

See Sholeh. See Sholeh do a spectacular deer-in-the-headlights impression. With a side order of panic that only grew more acute with that very-perceptible-pause Ms. Maggotbone had included.

"I like reading?" Sholeh squeaked. "I have two sisters? I'm from a different landscape?"

Please oh please let the scary teacher lady be happy with either of those!

Bingo! Oh, maybe this class could be fun after all. Humans (and apparently, not-quite-so-humans) were so easy to manipulate.

"What are your sisters like?" she asked. "Are they ... a lot like you?"

Perfectly innocent question, Sholeh.

"Uhhhh..."

STOP TORMENTING THE NEWBIE, CALLIE. Damn demons.

Sholeh was just going to make squeaky noises in lieu of an actual answer.

All right, this was fun, but it was better to pull this back to a simmer than to waste all her ammo in the first go.

"I'm an only child myself," she said brightly. "I don't get much time to read. And I grew up on the Lake of Fire, like I said, so different landscapes are par for the course. Welcome to class."

"Thank you?"

Asking it like a question didn't exactly make it sound sincere, Sholeh. On the other hand, she was grateful to be able to sink back in her chair. And maybe hide behind a book or something.

"That's not a name, that's the sound a dying baby makes," Bucky insisted. "You and Sparkle and Butters should form a club."

Sholeh had never been sassed by a cat before. Actually, she'd never had a conversation with a cat at all, never mind a sassy one.

"Uhh...are you a student who got changed into an animal?" she asked.

"What kind of question is THAT?!?!? No, I'm a cat who got changed into a student."

Bucky hadn't quite understood her question, which was good, because if he realized she had been calling him a HUMAN, there would be hell to pay.

"Because you can talk?"

Sholeh, stop courting your own death on the first day of classes.

And by that, the narration means 'talking to Bucky.'

"Yeah, sure, whatever. I got changed into a student 'because I can talk'." Bucky rolled his eyes and added unnecessary air quotes to show his contempt. "How does that even make sense as a question?!?"

=If you punt him like a football, he'll probably go away,= Zeela advised.

*Sholeh wouldn't do that!* Zhahar protested. *...He'd probably get a good clawing in before he went, anyway.*

"Well, you clearly didn't get in because of your manners," Sholeh snapped. "Or the sweetness of your breath. Did you hawk up a hairball in the back of class just now?"

Arguing. With. A. Cat.

"Not yet," Bucky told her. "I'm kind of off my game, with the plane ride and all. Ask nicely and I'll give it a try."

"What's a plane and why were you riding it?" Sholeh asked, picturing a cat riding something like a pony. It was kind of an amusing image and why not? It could speak, so it possibly did ride other domesticated creatures. "And no, thank you. I'd rather not."

Diversity and You, Class #1, Period #2, May 7th

Re: Introductions. This is super original. - DIV01

Re: Introductions. This is super original. - DIV01

Re: Introductions. This is super original. - DIV01

Re: Introductions. This is super original. - DIV01

Re: Introductions. This is super original. - DIV01

Re: Introductions. This is super original. - DIV01

Re: Introductions. This is super original. - DIV01

Re: Introductions. This is super original. - DIV01

Re: Introductions. This is super original. - DIV01

Re: Introductions. This is super original. - DIV01

Re: Introductions. This is super original. - DIV01

Re: Introductions. This is super original. - DIV01

Re: Introductions. This is super original. - DIV01

Re: Introductions. This is super original. - DIV01

Re: Introductions. This is super original. - DIV01