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fandomhigh2012-04-18 02:40 pm
scary-jeff.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2012-04-18 02:40 pm
Entry tags:
'Driver's Ed', Wednesday
For once, the class hadn't been invited to some kind of bizarre Danger Shopped monstrosity.
They were out at the parking lot instead.
"Um," said Jeff. That was his greeting. "Um," he repeated, and waved his arm at the parking lot. "Um."
Jamie blinked at Jeff for a second in confusion. "Are we doing yoga today?" he asked mistaking Jeff's "um's" for a mantra. "Because I thought we we're doing the Driver Ed thing."
"I'm sorry!" Jeff said, at a volume much louder than necessary. "I'm under a lot of pressure today!"
Jamie sighed and then grinned at the students. "Today class we're going to be continuing-"
And this would be the point where Jamie was giving the class a very obvious wink.
"-Our driver's education studies. Yes. Where we make sure that we're always following traffic rules. And wearing seat belts. And watching movies of car crashes with disembowled people who didn't wear their seat belts. Just like we do every week."
"Yes," Jeff said. His voice had an audible squeak to it. "As we do every week!" He couldn't sound less convincing if he tried. "Oh god."
"Unfortunately due to a slight snafu in planning, we won't have cars for you to drive today," Jamie said only showing the slightest trace of hesitation in his voice. "So instead you'll be driven around today in limos. By a driver named Ed."
Jamie then let out a slight embarrassed cough. "Except for a few of you who have the lucky opportunity of being driven around in a clown car by a clown named Ed."
"Jamie," Jeff hissed. "We have to act normal!" He was sweating pearls just trying to do that, Jamie! You couldn't do that to him! He was flailing! ... Yes, actually flailing, limbs and all.
"It could have been worse," Jamie hissed back. "We almost got mimes."
"No mimes!" Jeff declared. "Look! We'll just... we'll look at cars!"
His voice broke like he was a fifteen-year-old.
"But we can't have Drivers Ed without driving," Jamie reasoned. "Otherwise the class would just be 'Looking at Cars with a guy named Ed getting paid to stand around'."
"Toy cars!" Jeff exclaimed, apropos of nothing.
"You mean like bumper cars?" Jamie asked. "I'm not sure some of the kids are tall enough to go on that ride."
Yes, Dave. Jamie was looking at you.
"No, no, no no no no no no. No." Beat. "I'm over-noing, aren't I?" Don't answer that, Jamie. Just don't.
Jeff shook his arms. Then shook them again. Then shook them a third time, when suddenly a bunch of tiny toy cars fell out onto the pavement. "You need to-- safe! Drive these around. Safely!" he exclaimed.
"...Very safely! Keep things safe, or you'll fail the class, and we can't... we can't... ohgodJamieIcan'tdothis!"
At which point Jeff started to shake. Which was as good a 'get started!' as they were ever going to get.
They were out at the parking lot instead.
"Um," said Jeff. That was his greeting. "Um," he repeated, and waved his arm at the parking lot. "Um."
Jamie blinked at Jeff for a second in confusion. "Are we doing yoga today?" he asked mistaking Jeff's "um's" for a mantra. "Because I thought we we're doing the Driver Ed thing."
"I'm sorry!" Jeff said, at a volume much louder than necessary. "I'm under a lot of pressure today!"
Jamie sighed and then grinned at the students. "Today class we're going to be continuing-"
And this would be the point where Jamie was giving the class a very obvious wink.
"-Our driver's education studies. Yes. Where we make sure that we're always following traffic rules. And wearing seat belts. And watching movies of car crashes with disembowled people who didn't wear their seat belts. Just like we do every week."
"Yes," Jeff said. His voice had an audible squeak to it. "As we do every week!" He couldn't sound less convincing if he tried. "Oh god."
"Unfortunately due to a slight snafu in planning, we won't have cars for you to drive today," Jamie said only showing the slightest trace of hesitation in his voice. "So instead you'll be driven around today in limos. By a driver named Ed."
Jamie then let out a slight embarrassed cough. "Except for a few of you who have the lucky opportunity of being driven around in a clown car by a clown named Ed."
"Jamie," Jeff hissed. "We have to act normal!" He was sweating pearls just trying to do that, Jamie! You couldn't do that to him! He was flailing! ... Yes, actually flailing, limbs and all.
"It could have been worse," Jamie hissed back. "We almost got mimes."
"No mimes!" Jeff declared. "Look! We'll just... we'll look at cars!"
His voice broke like he was a fifteen-year-old.
"But we can't have Drivers Ed without driving," Jamie reasoned. "Otherwise the class would just be 'Looking at Cars with a guy named Ed getting paid to stand around'."
"Toy cars!" Jeff exclaimed, apropos of nothing.
"You mean like bumper cars?" Jamie asked. "I'm not sure some of the kids are tall enough to go on that ride."
Yes, Dave. Jamie was looking at you.
"No, no, no no no no no no. No." Beat. "I'm over-noing, aren't I?" Don't answer that, Jamie. Just don't.
Jeff shook his arms. Then shook them again. Then shook them a third time, when suddenly a bunch of tiny toy cars fell out onto the pavement. "You need to-- safe! Drive these around. Safely!" he exclaimed.
"...Very safely! Keep things safe, or you'll fail the class, and we can't... we can't... ohgodJamieIcan'tdothis!"
At which point Jeff started to shake. Which was as good a 'get started!' as they were ever going to get.
Listen to the... Uh.
Re: Listen to the... Uh.
Could she take the subway for her final?
Re: Listen to the... Uh.
Re: Listen to the... Uh.
Re: Listen to the... Uh.
She looked more than a bit panicked as she figured out what the class was about today.
Re: Listen to the... Uh.
Re: Listen to the... Uh.
Re: Listen to the... Uh.