fandomhigh | Jeff's Solo Tour of Totally Awesome School-Board Mandated Madness, Wednesday

Today, the students would find themselves in the Danger Shop... facing Jeff and a chihuahua.

Jeff looked markedly less energetic than usual - in fact, he seemed downright mopey. "Jamie's a dog this week so we won't be doing our planned lesson," he said. "Actually I'm not even sure why we're here because I think the school board was really clear that Jamie had to be in the class, but I brought him and I thought I'd try and teach you after all. It would be a shame if you had to miss a class."

Some people might beg to differ about that, Jeff.

"Anyway, I thought I'd take this week to teach you all about dogs," he said. "Now dogs can be really useful, but they're also treacherous. They make me nervous, and it's for a really good reason. I used to have this dog actually, a Saint Bernard, she'd drool on everything and clobber me mid-conversation and it never ended well."

Apparently teaching with only a yippy dog at his feet made Jeff talky.

"So I think it's important we all learn how to deal with dogs in a social context, because you might think that trying to chat up a woman with a puppy on you is a really good idea, but it's not realistic, is it? I mean, I've tried-- well, okay, I told someone I had a dog because I got nervous about her dog and then she wouldn't stop asking after the dog which made me even more nervous. And that tends to lead to stupid lies. No good can come from lying about dogs, all right? It's a recipe for disaster is what it is."

He stepped aside, pulling on a curtain. On one end of the Danger Shop was a large kennel with a variety of puppies. On the other side was... the inside of a coffee shop.

"What I want you all to do is get a puppy," he said, "and attempt to chat each other up while you have the puppies on you. Or just chat, that can be disastrous in and of itself."

There was a long pause.

Jamuahua yipped.

"...that's it."

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"Surreal?" Miley said, making a face. Figuring that Juliet and Surreal probably didn't run in the same crowd, she clarified, "Long dark hair, attitude issues..."

"I've had classes with her," Juliet nodded, nose wrinkled. "I can never figure out why somebody would call their kid Surreal. It's mean."

"It so is!" Miley agreed. "I mean, it's not Blue Ivy or Exton Elijah or whatever that was, but it's still weird. I mean, it even means weird. Who does that?"

Juliet thought about it for a moment. "Celebrities," she decided. "Or people who want their kids to be strippers. Wonder which hers were?"

"The second one," Miley said immediately. "It would match the outfits."

Well...

Juliet laughed. "That's mean," she protested, but in a way that meant please, keep being mean.

"Weeeell..."

It was also kinda true. So.

So. Yeah. Juliet cleared her throat, not having much more to say about Surreal.

"Anyhow," she said, feeding Coco a little treat, "how have you been, other than the weirdo roomie? It's been forever."

"It has!" Miley agreed. "I've been mostly good! We totally need to hang out more. Like maybe at a pet store. Getting you a puppy."

Nudge, nudge.

Juliet laughed at the obvious nudging. It was easy to laugh when you had a puppy on your lap.

"Maybe next week," she offered. "I have a sick dress for the dance and I don't want a new puppy to mess it up."

"Gooood point," Miley agreed, scratching little Louboutin behind the ears. "What kind of dress is it? Tell me everything."

Juliet used a lot of words to describe the (in truth fairly simple) hot pink Mikael Aghal (http://www.bluefly.com/Mikael-Aghal-pink-jersey-tiered-one-shoulder-down/cat60019/314727501/detail.fly) dress she'd settled on.

"But I'm not sure about the shoes," she finished. "I want to go strappy, but is that a little too much for February?"

"Oooh, I can totally picture it," Miley said, because there were a lot of words there. "Strappy would be adorable with that, actually! And, like, way festive. Maybe, like, a gold or something?"

"Gold is exactly what I was thinking," Juliet burbled, scritching Coco behind his ears. "And I'll leave my hair down. Have you figured your dress out yet?"

"Not yet," Miley admitted. "I'm down to, like, two or three, and I was gonna ask Dave what he thought, but you would be, like, way better at it. Wanna come with me to the store to check out some options? Ooh! And we could find shoes for you, too!"

Juliet gave Miley a pitying look, because she'd been considering asking Dave for shoe advice.

"Sure," she said. "I'm ... pretty much free the rest of the week after this class."

She had Oz's thing Friday, but that was hardly a heavy load.

"Okay!" Miley said brightly. "How about tomorrow?"

"I'll meet you at the shop," Juliet agreed, and cast a longing look at Miley's dog's little shoes. "... too bad we can't bring Louboutin."

Jeff's Solo Tour of Totally Awesome School-Board Mandated Madness, Wednesday

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