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fandomhigh2012-02-08 02:26 pm
scary-jeff.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2012-02-08 02:26 pm
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Jeff's Solo Tour of Totally Awesome School-Board Mandated Madness, Wednesday
Today, the students would find themselves in the Danger Shop... facing Jeff and a chihuahua.
Jeff looked markedly less energetic than usual - in fact, he seemed downright mopey. "Jamie's a dog this week so we won't be doing our planned lesson," he said. "Actually I'm not even sure why we're here because I think the school board was really clear that Jamie had to be in the class, but I brought him and I thought I'd try and teach you after all. It would be a shame if you had to miss a class."
Some people might beg to differ about that, Jeff.
"Anyway, I thought I'd take this week to teach you all about dogs," he said. "Now dogs can be really useful, but they're also treacherous. They make me nervous, and it's for a really good reason. I used to have this dog actually, a Saint Bernard, she'd drool on everything and clobber me mid-conversation and it never ended well."
Apparently teaching with only a yippy dog at his feet made Jeff talky.
"So I think it's important we all learn how to deal with dogs in a social context, because you might think that trying to chat up a woman with a puppy on you is a really good idea, but it's not realistic, is it? I mean, I've tried-- well, okay, I told someone I had a dog because I got nervous about her dog and then she wouldn't stop asking after the dog which made me even more nervous. And that tends to lead to stupid lies. No good can come from lying about dogs, all right? It's a recipe for disaster is what it is."
He stepped aside, pulling on a curtain. On one end of the Danger Shop was a large kennel with a variety of puppies. On the other side was... the inside of a coffee shop.
"What I want you all to do is get a puppy," he said, "and attempt to chat each other up while you have the puppies on you. Or just chat, that can be disastrous in and of itself."
There was a long pause.
Jamuahua yipped.
"...that's it."
Jeff looked markedly less energetic than usual - in fact, he seemed downright mopey. "Jamie's a dog this week so we won't be doing our planned lesson," he said. "Actually I'm not even sure why we're here because I think the school board was really clear that Jamie had to be in the class, but I brought him and I thought I'd try and teach you after all. It would be a shame if you had to miss a class."
Some people might beg to differ about that, Jeff.
"Anyway, I thought I'd take this week to teach you all about dogs," he said. "Now dogs can be really useful, but they're also treacherous. They make me nervous, and it's for a really good reason. I used to have this dog actually, a Saint Bernard, she'd drool on everything and clobber me mid-conversation and it never ended well."
Apparently teaching with only a yippy dog at his feet made Jeff talky.
"So I think it's important we all learn how to deal with dogs in a social context, because you might think that trying to chat up a woman with a puppy on you is a really good idea, but it's not realistic, is it? I mean, I've tried-- well, okay, I told someone I had a dog because I got nervous about her dog and then she wouldn't stop asking after the dog which made me even more nervous. And that tends to lead to stupid lies. No good can come from lying about dogs, all right? It's a recipe for disaster is what it is."
He stepped aside, pulling on a curtain. On one end of the Danger Shop was a large kennel with a variety of puppies. On the other side was... the inside of a coffee shop.
"What I want you all to do is get a puppy," he said, "and attempt to chat each other up while you have the puppies on you. Or just chat, that can be disastrous in and of itself."
There was a long pause.
Jamuahua yipped.
"...that's it."