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madrox and murdock

The Continuing Classroom Adventures of Jeff and Jamie

"Good morning class," Jamie said cheerfully as they all filed in. "Today we have a special treat for that goes along with what happened over the weekend. Specifically a part of the female anatomy called... The bosom."

"But what makes for a good bosom?" Jeff said, picking it up easily. "Is it heft? Shape? Cleaaaavage?"

"Does size matter? What about bounce?" Jamie continued. "All important questions. But really the most important question of all-"

And with that Jamie pressed a remote control to reveal the image of two women posing on the movie screen behind them.

"Who had the best pair of boobs: Me or Jeff when we were women?"

"These are the swimsuit pictures," Jeff said, waving at it, "We've also got one with blouses on."
"And in a moment you'll also see a brief clip of each of us running in slow motion while wearing swimsuits," Jamie continued as dupes appeared and began to hand out score cards. "Your assignment today is to evaluate our breasts and determine which of us had the best pair."

Jeff nodded along. "But one rule," he called. "We are keeping this PG-13, so please, from this moment on, you will all refer to them as 'top-stuffers' or 'frontal pillows'."

"Yes, because we certainly don't want to offend anybody," Jamie agreed. "So please use discretion. Now let's begin!"

[OOC: Today's assignment deals with Jeff and Jamie talking about female anatomy and assigning students a task that no teacher in their right minds would ever ever ever assign. Jeff and Jamie are not in their right minds. If we spirits have offended think but this; and all is mended that you have but RP'd here while these visions did appear and this weak and idle theme no more yielding but a dream. Gentles--do not reprehend if you pardon, we will mend. And, as I am an honest Madrox if we have unearned ...Box. Now to scape the serpents tongue. We will make amends ere long else the Jamie a liar call. So--goodnight unto you all. Give me your hands if we be friends. And Jamie shall restore amends.

Also: If you're easily offended by the use of female anatomy in jokes and feel uncomfortable, you may not wish to read.]

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Genderswapped!

Miley Ray Stewart

Dave Nelson

Elphaba Thropp

Stacey McGill

Sam Puckett

Jim Hawkins

Jeremy Darling

Juliet Darling

Butters Stotch

Sov Thade Tage em Ereb

Hanna Marin

Rilla Blythe

Billy Kaplan

Anna Korlov

Hank Venture

About... yes. That.

Dave was just going to put his head down and not look up for the rest of class, thank you very much.

Stacey had no problem at all judging people if they were going to put themselves out there like that, but... This was weird. For so, so, so many reasons.

What? No. No, no, no, no, no.

Juliet wasn't really that prudish, but the idea of assessing her teachers' breasts had her burying her head in her arms and trying desperately to unsee the footage. There was no way she was doing the assignment.

"TOP STUFFERS?!" Rilla ~~squawked~~ squawked. "No."

Billy stared at the pictures for a moment before shutting his eyes tightly. Oh god, he could still see them even like that.

Okay, Jim could get through this class in one piece. He could do it. All he had to do was look busy by doodling in the margins of his notebook. Plans for a modified surfer or something. That would be safe.

Or, well, it would have been if his pencil hadn't hopped across his desk when he reached for it. Someone's pet pink blob was learning that, while Jim left him behind for classes, he did take his school supplies with him when he left the room.

Morph.

"Hey, does this count as sexual harassment?" Hank asked. "You better not try to touch my junk!"

The first image is the female versions of Jamie and Jeff in bathing suits.

Your scorecard rates from 1 (the lowest) to 10 (The highest) with a column for both Jamie and Jeff.

Sam's score card so far:

Jamie: negative fifty bajillion
Jeff: now there is a bra that could tell ghost stories

Butters considered both teachers carefully, his pencil tapping on his chin. Then he nodded, satisfied, scribbled down his numbers, a very definitive 5.5 for Mr. Murdock and a 7.3 for Mr. Madrox.

Boy, that was tough! He had a feeling that the evening wear was gonna be a real photo finish!

Edited 2012-02-01 18:13 (UTC)

Jim was not looking. Jim was resolutely not looking.

Not that it did him any good, because there was a dramatic performance in miniature on his desk, of the two women on the screen, in the middle of a catfight. A very... bouncy one.

Jim buried the small occupant of the top of his desk under his jacket when Morph started throwing blows at the other half of himself using his breasts.

Hank's score card was empty, because he was too busy watching the breasts.

Yes. It's female versions of Jamie and Jeff in evening gowns. Yes. It is disturbing.

Remember to mark your score cards.

Sam's score card:

The word "why?" scrawled over and over in large letters across the entire page, with exclamation points and extra bold.

Also, a rather impressive drawing of Jeff being eaten by a bear.

And now it's a brief clip of Jeff and Jamie in bathing suits. Running in slow motion.

No, it really can't get more disturbing that this.

Sam's score card:

is actually on fire.

There was a couple of reactions to the score card being on fire.

The first was a dupe running around hysterically because something was on fire.

The second was another dupe giggling stupidly and pointing at the score card.

The third was actually Jamie who somehow produced a marshmallow and a roasting stick and was trying to toast his marshmallow.

"Oh," Jamie said in an offhand manner. "You have detention. Sorry. The fire thing."

Sam shrugged. "Had to happen eventually."

Who are probably wondering if this gig is worth the credit.

No. This gig was not worth the credit.

Miley stared.

"Oh, sweet niblets."

"Miley? We're going to be using the phrase 'top-stuffers' or 'frontal pillows' as euphenisms," Jamie said kindly.

"Yeaaaaaah," Miley said, stretching out the word nice and long. "Can I go to the nurse? I have a... thing."

She wasn't even going to try to come up with a fictional ailment now, no.

"Oooo. Things can be bad," Jamie said with a nod. "You're excused."

So, on the bright side, they weren't talking about panties.

Sam was weighing her options on pulling out the ballpeen hammer she kept in her bag and finding out just how many times Jamie could duplicate before she broke him, though.

Though after this class, calling them "teachers" is... well they're just plain not.

Jeff was reaching the point in his tenure where he was visibly attempting to repress the urge to just break out and start muttering 'breasts' under his breath.

He was a responsible ahahahah so not a teacher.

Yeeeeeah. It's weird.

I GET THE REFERENCE. BE PROUD OF ME!!!!!!!!

Dear Sam: ILU.

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The Continuing Classroom Adventures of Jeff and Jamie

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