Advanced Negotiations

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

OOC: All sections and Independent Study should comment to any course post. It feels really silly to post the same thing a couple times over.

IC:

*walks into class carrying only a large envelope*

Hello class. I trust your weekend was restful.

*She looks around and noted several hungover faces*

Or not.

Today we have only one topic and of course to turn in last week's assignment.

*She pulls out a picture from the envelope and tacks it to the board*

This is our subject for today. Harmless looking, oh yes, but deceptively so. It is a living example of how something can look one way, but then prove to be something entirely different. This is a reality to which you much get used to quickly as deception is something that you will all face in your lives if you have not already to some degree. We will discussion deception in more detail next time.

For now, I want this:

How would you realistically go into advanced negotiations with a tree that attacks people? Is it even possible? If it is, explain in detail and in real time, try to negotiate with said attack tree. If negotiations are not possible, how would you go about dealing with the tree? Then, in real time, try putting an end to the tree's reign of terror. To the victor goes the reward of a perfect core and a ride in my ship to your destination of choice.

Comments

[sheldonjsands.livejournal.com]

*passes forward last weeks assignment, typed and doublespaced, but with some grammar errors from his voice recognition software - mixed up homophones and whatnot (basically what Jayne as his proofreader wouldn't catch).*

I'd say first stay out of the tree's reach. Then I'd assume since trees have no ears, it won't listen to negotiation. That's when you distract it with something one one side, and get your large, strong friend to sneak up the other with a chainsaw.

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

I trust you would have a back up plan in case the tree turned on the strong friend with the chainsaw, picked him up by the ankles, and pounded him into the ground like a stake?

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

*Parker thinks Padme has lost it*

Flamethrower?

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

*doesn't give a damn as tree has ruined a perfectly good, expensive ensemble*

Good answer, but what if the tree should stillbe moving while aflame. You run the risk of a large scale fire and putting yourself in peril.

[emo-padawan.livejournal.com]

Turns in paper, neatly typed and entitled "Advanced Negotiations with the Trade Federation: The Naboo Example" for maximum kiss-up points effectiveness with the teacher.

Master Kenobi always said that if it has a mind it can be reasoned with, but I've never really found that to be true. I would see if there were a reason that this tree felt it necessary to, for example, keep tossing teachers into the lake, and see if it could be persuaded to stop. Since the tree seems to laugh every time it does such a thing, I'm believing it's unlikely that such behavior would be stopped. Being such a massive thing, I think it's also unlikely it could moved. In that case, and for the safety and well-being of the school, it would have to be destroyed. Branch by branch, if necessary.

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

*smiles at the paper and then at Anakin*

Now how would you go about destroying it, "branch by branch"? The logistics of it may be difficult.

[sensethevisions]

*doesn't think Padme has lost it. In fact thinks Padme has a good idea*

I don't think there is a way to peacefully negotiate with an attacking tree just like there is no way to peacefully negotiate with a large white interferring bouncing ball. It is times like that that shiny sharp objects become tools of negotiation.

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

Quite true.

[threeweapons.livejournal.com]

Passes in the work from last week, hastily written on a piece of paper. Some of the words are a bit hard to read, since she hasn't mastered the use of a ball-point pen fully.

Couldn't you figure out it's weak point maybe? Most magical artifacts have some sort of trigger.

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

Very good. It is always wise to investigate before acting if afforded the time.

[notcalledlizzie.livejournal.com]

*passes in last week's assignment, quickly jotted down in less than neat script and with graduate level terms scribbled out and then made more high-school appropriate*

*looks at the picture with curiosity*

I would presume that you can't actually communicate with the tree. However, it is living, so does that not mean that it has a right to live? If it sees the persons it attacks as a threat to it; something which we do, only with the military, then can we judge it for what it does.

I'd head over to the physicists and see if they could come up with some sort of force-field or something to restrain it. Maybe it would calm it down? It certainly would prevent people from going near it anymore and being attacked

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

*smiles brightly*

That is an excellent and very feasible idea. You're the first to suggest a nonviolent and might I add, clever solution.

[can_be_more]

*blink*

Name: Aeryn Sun
Date: whatever day of whatever month you people have
Class: Advanced Negotiations

I think my translator microbes are frelling up again. I thought you said a tree.

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

No, it is functioning correctly. We are indeed talking about a tree. A tree that attacks people without reason.

[2ls-in-oneill.livejournal.com]

Find the one that keeps calling everyone "Little Orc" and have it tell the other to knock it off. If that doesn't work make a small fire with twigs to make a point.

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

*nods then pauses*

What's an Orc?

[miss-monochrome.livejournal.com]

::hands in last week's homework::

Uh, I'm guessing that the tree doesn't talk? Do you know if it can, uh, hear? 'Cause then you'd just havta get some kinda plant that *can* talk and they could, like, mediate or something. 'Course.. the only one I know is, um, gone. Oh! banikslaveboy could help ya out, 'cause he understood Zhaan (the, um, talking plant) more than almost anybody.

Otherwise, I'd go with the princess' flamethrower plan.

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

Very good. You've done well to come up with two courses of action.

[carter-i-am.livejournal.com]

Um. Ma'am. I didn't know about last week's assignment. May I have an extension or a waiver?

Realistically, ma'am? I haven't met any trees that attack people. But if there were, then I suppose I'd probably have to work under the reasoning that trees can't communicate.

Of course, if evidence was presented that explored the possibility that the tree was trying to communicate with us, then I'd have to rig up something so we could talk with it. Starting with 'humans are sentient beings, too' and working our way around to 'you killed my team-mate, prepare to die and that's unacceptable'.

Putting an end to the tree's reign of terror? Maybe a sign or label nearby to warn people. Cordon it off, perhaps?

And if all else failed, then I'd blow it up. With C4 explosives.

[02maxwell.livejournal.com]

Well, since mosta my negotiations are of the, uh, physical sort, I'd do what I always do: jump in my 70 foot tall Mobile Suit and see what the tree's got to say. I've got hyper jammers that block radar traces, so if they tree's monitoring enemy radars, it still won't seem me comin'. After that, if the tree's not inta negotiatin', my 50 foot beam scythe will take care of the rest. *grins*

[02maxwell.livejournal.com]

Oh and *hands in last week's assignment* there ya are, ma'am. *smiles brightly*

[jayne-serenity.livejournal.com]

*comes in way late and drops a few pages on the teachers desk that are rumpled and stained - his homework*

*goes and sits next to Pheobe*

C4, ma'am.

a few pounds of C4 should do ok in taking it down.

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

*looks at the paper and shakes her head*

C4?

[pure-blooddraco.livejournal.com]

Hands in last weeks homework. The paper is a little soggy at the edges. Draco had decided to do his homework during a Death Eater meeting last week and it was always so damp in those graveyards the Dark Lord insisted on meeting.

Well, I have some experience with trees that fight back. I've learned that crashing a flying car into them will do some damage...about the only good thing Potter has ever done. Personally I'd blow the thing up to hell and back. You'll get so much satisfaction out of that.

[fh_jackass]

*hands in homework*

Explosives sound promising. But you'd have to get in and get the roots, too, or it'll just come back to get you later.

[neptune-wallace.livejournal.com]

uhh, I would just walk around out of reach of the tree. If it can't reach you, there's no problem, see?

[neptune-wallace.livejournal.com]

*hands in homework also*

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

*hands in his homework*

Ma'am, I was thinking what sort of tree would this be? If it does attack people, that would mean it is sort of sentient so maybe it can be reasoned with. Not by talking obviously, but perhaps by intimidation. Using a helicopter, a tarp might be able to be lowered on top of it so it wouldn't get any sunlight. After a certain period of time, the tarp could be lifted. Showing of our higher power because we can walk around, might intimidate the tree enough to calm down. Unless of course this is against the Convention of Geneva.

If the tree remains hostile, we might have to resort to taking it out completely. A grenade would probably do the job and you wouldn't have to get close.

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

An intriguing tactic.

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

*hands in late homework* Sorry Professor. I got lost. The story involves slime, but no trees.

If the tree is stationary, I'd use a standard tactical approach with a four-man team under the cover of night. The idea is to get a thick rope of some kind and arrange it so that it loops around the tree.

This can't be done up close, so we'd have to make it real long and ensure that there's a fair distanced perimeter around the tree, looping it at least once, preferrably three or more times. Then, when the rope is in position, pull the rope (maybe using a humvee or a tank depending on how heavy the rope is) and anchor it to a sturdy foundation. This will secure the tree so it can't move, thus making it more likely to stay put and listen to negotiations.

notcalledlizzie can do that part.

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

If the story involves places I should avoid on campus, at least drop that part of it on me.

And that is a very good potential move. You've thought this out.

[julian-lawless.livejournal.com]

*hands in his homework, neatly typed and fonted and all that good stuff*

Negotiation implies that both parties are of roughly equal intelligence and are both willing to compromise. An effort (if we are trying to be fair) should be made to discover if this violent tree matches us in intelligence, and also if it has any interest in negotiation at all. From what I have heard and seen, the former is debatable, but the latter is not. The tree exists to be violent and attack people, it will not change.

It follows that we should try and determine the tree's level of sapience. Threats of violence might cow it if it's clever, but would not slow a mere plant. Once that is determined, there is one final thing to consider.

*smiles winningly at the Professor* Do you want it merely destroyed, or do you want it to suffer first?

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

I'll let you know on the latter after my dry cleaning bill comes back.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_gottahavefaith/]

*hands in homework, hastily handwritten and probably not that good*

*blinks* Can you argue with a tree? Like, does it have a mouth and stuff?
Cause if it can't talk, you might as well just chop it down. Or avoid it.

(OOC- so so sorry, i forgot Faith was in the class.)

[tru-relivesdays.livejournal.com]

*hands in assignment*