Advanced Negotiations

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

OOC: All sections and Independent Study should comment to any course post. It feels really silly to post the same thing a couple times over.

IC:

*walks into class carrying only a large envelope*

Hello class. I trust your weekend was restful.

*She looks around and noted several hungover faces*

Or not.

Today we have only one topic and of course to turn in last week's assignment.

*She pulls out a picture from the envelope and tacks it to the board*

This is our subject for today. Harmless looking, oh yes, but deceptively so. It is a living example of how something can look one way, but then prove to be something entirely different. This is a reality to which you much get used to quickly as deception is something that you will all face in your lives if you have not already to some degree. We will discussion deception in more detail next time.

For now, I want this:

How would you realistically go into advanced negotiations with a tree that attacks people? Is it even possible? If it is, explain in detail and in real time, try to negotiate with said attack tree. If negotiations are not possible, how would you go about dealing with the tree? Then, in real time, try putting an end to the tree's reign of terror. To the victor goes the reward of a perfect core and a ride in my ship to your destination of choice.

Comments

[sheldonjsands.livejournal.com]

*passes forward last weeks assignment, typed and doublespaced, but with some grammar errors from his voice recognition software - mixed up homophones and whatnot (basically what Jayne as his proofreader wouldn't catch).*

I'd say first stay out of the tree's reach. Then I'd assume since trees have no ears, it won't listen to negotiation. That's when you distract it with something one one side, and get your large, strong friend to sneak up the other with a chainsaw.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

*Parker thinks Padme has lost it*

Flamethrower?

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

*doesn't give a damn as tree has ruined a perfectly good, expensive ensemble*

Good answer, but what if the tree should stillbe moving while aflame. You run the risk of a large scale fire and putting yourself in peril.

[emo-padawan.livejournal.com]

Turns in paper, neatly typed and entitled "Advanced Negotiations with the Trade Federation: The Naboo Example" for maximum kiss-up points effectiveness with the teacher.

Master Kenobi always said that if it has a mind it can be reasoned with, but I've never really found that to be true. I would see if there were a reason that this tree felt it necessary to, for example, keep tossing teachers into the lake, and see if it could be persuaded to stop. Since the tree seems to laugh every time it does such a thing, I'm believing it's unlikely that such behavior would be stopped. Being such a massive thing, I think it's also unlikely it could moved. In that case, and for the safety and well-being of the school, it would have to be destroyed. Branch by branch, if necessary.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

*passes in her homework*

Uh, I think Sheldon's got a point, since you can't negotiate, so I stand by my flamethrower idea.

So I suppose you should have some Agent Orange as backup. Less risk of conflagration.

[sensethevisions]

*doesn't think Padme has lost it. In fact thinks Padme has a good idea*

I don't think there is a way to peacefully negotiate with an attacking tree just like there is no way to peacefully negotiate with a large white interferring bouncing ball. It is times like that that shiny sharp objects become tools of negotiation.

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

*smiles at the paper and then at Anakin*

Now how would you go about destroying it, "branch by branch"? The logistics of it may be difficult.

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

*takes it with a nod*

An excellent suggestion.

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

Quite true.

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe looks at Anakin, listening to what he says.

"Tteamwork?" She suggests.

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

It is doubtful one could take it on alone. In fact, to do so would probably result in injury.

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

I trust you would have a back up plan in case the tree turned on the strong friend with the chainsaw, picked him up by the ankles, and pounded him into the ground like a stake?

[threeweapons.livejournal.com]

Passes in the work from last week, hastily written on a piece of paper. Some of the words are a bit hard to read, since she hasn't mastered the use of a ball-point pen fully.

Couldn't you figure out it's weak point maybe? Most magical artifacts have some sort of trigger.

[notcalledlizzie.livejournal.com]

*passes in last week's assignment, quickly jotted down in less than neat script and with graduate level terms scribbled out and then made more high-school appropriate*

*looks at the picture with curiosity*

I would presume that you can't actually communicate with the tree. However, it is living, so does that not mean that it has a right to live? If it sees the persons it attacks as a threat to it; something which we do, only with the military, then can we judge it for what it does.

I'd head over to the physicists and see if they could come up with some sort of force-field or something to restrain it. Maybe it would calm it down? It certainly would prevent people from going near it anymore and being attacked

[emo-padawan.livejournal.com]

*thinks really hard because tactics outside of "killing it/him/her/them with my lightsaber" aren't really his forte*

With a tree this size, I'd have to say that as much as I'm all about doing things on my own this would probably take a couple of beings. Lightsabers, large-scale blaster power, a couple of pieces of heavy machinary to push it towards the lake, where it would do less damage than if it fell towards the school or the other trees.

*shrugs* Something along those lines, maybe.

[emo-padawan.livejournal.com]

Yeah, probably. Something this big and mean? I've been called reckless foolhardy impulsive, but I don't think this would be a one-being project.

[can_be_more]

*blink*

Name: Aeryn Sun
Date: whatever day of whatever month you people have
Class: Advanced Negotiations

I think my translator microbes are frelling up again. I thought you said a tree.

[2ls-in-oneill.livejournal.com]

Find the one that keeps calling everyone "Little Orc" and have it tell the other to knock it off. If that doesn't work make a small fire with twigs to make a point.

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

No, it is functioning correctly. We are indeed talking about a tree. A tree that attacks people without reason.

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

*smiles brightly*

That is an excellent and very feasible idea. You're the first to suggest a nonviolent and might I add, clever solution.

[sheldonjsands.livejournal.com]

Nah... just time to get another strong friend.

*mumbles* Which ain't really a half bad idea...

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

*nods then pauses*

What's an Orc?

[miss-monochrome.livejournal.com]

::hands in last week's homework::

Uh, I'm guessing that the tree doesn't talk? Do you know if it can, uh, hear? 'Cause then you'd just havta get some kinda plant that *can* talk and they could, like, mediate or something. 'Course.. the only one I know is, um, gone. Oh! banikslaveboy could help ya out, 'cause he understood Zhaan (the, um, talking plant) more than almost anybody.

Otherwise, I'd go with the princess' flamethrower plan.

[padmeofnaboo.livejournal.com]

Very good. You've done well to come up with two courses of action.

[can_be_more]

Then I would shoot it until it stopped.