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The Elements of Friendship, Thursday, Period 1

The Danger Shop today was programmed to resemble a barren, rocky field, nothing but dirt and rocks as far as the eye could see. Above the field drifted a bright pink hot air balloon, and in the balloon basket sat Pinkie, peering down at the students with a broad grin, one hoof braced on a megaphone.

"WELCOME STUDENTS!" she crowed. "Today's an easy one! This field is full of pretty pretty gemstones! Grab a gemstone finder," she pointed to a pile of fake unicorn horns on headbands, "and get digging! Whoever digs up the most wins!"

[ooc: OCD ~~on its way~~ is up and ready!]

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Not long into the gem-digging process, a series of giant holes open up in the field, and a trio of giant dog like creatures reach out to grab the students and drag them underground.

"Welcome, humans!" said the dog things. "We're the Diamond Dogs! And you are now . . . our slaves! Find the gems! Dig them up! ForEVER!"

They weren't going to want to let you keep the gems you dig, either. Might make it hard to win Pinkie's contest!

"What? No no no--"

There was a lot of kicking and flailing there as Scully was dragged downward. "HOW IS THIS FRIENDSHIP?!"

"It's very friendly!" crowed one of the dogs, its voice eerily high pitched and gravelly. "Diamond Dogs want gems, so humans dig them for them!"

"And what do the humans get out of this?" Scully demanded, flailing helplessly.

"They get to dig. Now be quiet! The noises hurt!"

Scully paused. A hundred thoughts about dogs' hearing went through her head.

Then she put her fingers in her mouth and let out a piercing high-pitched whistle.

That netted her a set of Diamond Dogs running around her in circles, shrieking and flailing their arms in the air. "STOP! STOP WITH THE NOISES! THE HURT, THE HURT!"

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"WE DON'T HAVE SLAVES IN CANADA!" Rilla shrieked at them.

Because that would help.

The dogs clearly were not fans of the shrieking. "BE QUIET HUMAN!" shouted one of them. "Your whining! It hurts!"

"I'm not whining," Rilla retorted, even though she was.

"Stop that!" The Diamond dog grabbed its ears in its fists. "PLEASE!"

Well, it did say please, even if it was an evil talking dog and Rilla was Canadian enough to take some pity on it.

"Will you let me go if I do?"

"Fine!" decided the Diamond Dog. "You go, rest of humans stay and DIG!"

These things seemed sufficiently "evil" enough that Squall figured it was okay to try to kill them.

Which was why there was now a huge lightning bolt hurtling at them from the... well, from the ceiling of the cavern. Thundaga didn't need any "sky".

The bolt struck one of the dogs, leaving him a charred mess. A blinking charred mess with little smoke lines coming out of him. It stared mournfully at Squall, then threw its charred arms in the air.

"YOU ARE EVEN MORE TROUBLESOME THAN THE PONY! HOW CAN THAT EVEN BE?"

"This is what I do," Squall replied. Although normally he used a weapon, but there din't seem to be anything handy. So he cast another Thundaga.

And now there were two charred Diamond Dogs, running around in circles flailing their arms.

"NO! STOP! BAD HUMAN!"

But there were three dogs, so he needed to cast one more Thundaga to make things fair.

After that, maybe they could strike up some sort of deal. "Let us go. NOW."

The third dog was perhaps an eensy bit smarter than the other two, and had the presence of mind to dodge. "Stop that!" it shrieked. "No more! No more!"

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"But I am not human," Spock informed the Diamond Dogs.

The Diamond Dogs were entirely unprepared for this. "Then dig, pony!"

Pinkie had only just stopped thinking of all her students and neighbors as being either ponies or weird hairless bears. She hadn't even heard of humanoid aliens, yet.

"I am not a pony, either," Spock informed the Diamond Dogs. Perhaps he really was trying to confuse them.

"You're not a dog!" said the Diamond dogs. "Are you a mule?"

"No," said Spock. "I am a Vulcan."

The Diamond dog blinked at him blankly for a moment, as though a program were getting stuck on a subroutine. Then it flung its arms into the air.

"VULCAN CAN DIG GEMS!"

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