fandomhigh | Wednesday: What was the school board thinking giving Jamie Madrox a teaching position?

Instead of going to a classroom today, the students were directed to the third floor of the dorms where they would find the hallway teeming with Jamie-Dupes wearing labcoats and goggles. Each one of them had a clipboard, calipers, measuring tape, litmus strips, cotton swabs and all sorts of scientific goodies that they seemed to be using on all of the doorknobs on the third floor.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Jamie said stepping forward and pulling down his goggles. "Today we leave our childhood behind and step into the future. Into the grand thing we know as... SCIENCE!"

If Reed Richards knew what was going to happen next, there would be a lot of weeping for the future.

"It has long been hypothesized that the doors in the dorms have curious properties."

Um. No. They really haven't.

"In fact one might say the doorknobs of these doors... taste like bacon."

Yep. Reed Richards. Big honking tears.

"Your job is to lick these doorknobs and see if they taste like bacon. FOR SCIENCE!"

Don't expect to get a Nobel prize for this one Jamie.

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"Okay Annie," Jamie said coming up along side her. "Which doorknob are you going to lick."

...

"For an A+"

Yep. Jamie is crazy. And perhaps evil.

Well, that confirmed he knew her name, at least.

"...I want that in writing," Annie decided.

"Certainly," Jamie said and suddenly there was a dupe holding a contract that stated that Annie would get an A+ for this assignment if she completed to the instructor's satisfaction.

"That... was scarily fast," Annie said. "Sign it? Publicly?"

She was so not taking chances.

"Certainly!" Jamie said signing said document with a flourish and handing to another dupe who then certified it.

"I'm a notary public. Also a CPA. And a lawyer. And a PI."

...

"I have a lot of spare time."

"I bet."

Annie turned slowly to the door knob, like she was waiting for something to happen that would stop her without it being her fault. Like a gremlin invasion.

And it was just at that moment Jack stepped out into the hallway. "Hey roomie!" he said cheerfully before realizing the hallway was quite busy at the moment. "What's going on here? Did I miss something?"

Oh, great, that just made it better. ~~It totally made it better.~~

"Class thing," she explained. "Um. I'm trying really hard to get an A+."

"Doing... what exactly?" Jack asked slowly.

Annie had to look a little embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I have to lick our doorknob."

And for about thirty seconds you can see how the thought of that percolated through Jack's brain before it came to an outraged response.

"That's INSANE!"

"I know. But... A+. And at least I know the germs that have been on this doorknob!" ...Sort of.

Jack boggled for a moment at Annie and then boggled at the doorknob. Then he boggled at the fact that there were a ton of Jamie duplicates before boggling back at Annie.

"Seriously?!"

""Seriously. I'll clean it," Annie promised, and then, before anyone could stop her, she leaned down to lick the knob.

The door knob, that is.

"IT'S SUPPOSED TO TASTE LIKE BACON. THAT TASTES LIKE PENNIES."

"Good, Edison," Jamie said and turned to the duplicates in lab coats behind him. "Pennies!"

And in unison all the duplicates checked off a tickybox on their clipboards.

"You get your A+."

"EEEWWWWWWWWW!"

Wednesday: What was the school board thinking giving Jamie Madrox a teaching position?

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