fandomhigh | Talking Is A Free Action - 21/7

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talking is free

Talking Is A Free Action - 21/7 - Thursday

There was something written on the board when students arrived for class today.

villainous monologues

"Now, some of you all might have experience with this subject," Deadpool said. "Either giving or receiving. Possibly dirty."

He didn't judge your kinky ways! Much.

"You know how it is, their nefarious plan is mere seconds from completion and they have the plucky hero right where they want him. And they just wanna lord over 'em. It's slightly less expensive than therapy or comic book collecting. Which, as we all know, is only one step down from crack."

He held up a comic book. "Deadpool volume 2, issue 41 is available August 10th!"

Helpful.

"Enough shameless self promotion! Partner off," he demanded. "One of you will be the babbling villain and the other the helpless hero. And of you really want to get into character, try shouting a lot. It's the super cool thing to do! Just ask Doctor Doom. Though, with him, it could be an unfortunate speech impediment..."

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...Or shameless self promotion.

Jack just sat and stared at Deadpool. Again.

"How in the world does he have a comic book about himself?" Jack asked looking extremely confused.

"Roll with it, dude," Claudia advised. "You start asking that too much around here, and your head'll explode."

"Literally?" Jack asked. "I mean you're saying my head will literally explode if I ask questions."

"No," Claudia said. "But I wouldn't put it past this place. Trust me, dude, I've been here for ages."

Ages in this case being a term meaning "about a year and a half".

Jack sighed and rubbed his bar arms to keep warm. "This place is just disturbing."

"It totally is." She tilted her head. "Uh, you know it's, like, the ice age out, right? Are you trying to prove your manliness or something?"

A dark look crossed Jack's face. "No," he groaned. "Someone broke into my room and decided to cut off the sleeves off my shirt. Though, yes it does make me more manly, don't you think?"

Yes, Jack was being sarcastic there.

"I dunno, you might be from the dark ages or something."

"Dark ages" here generally meaning "circa 1985".

"Maybe it was the laundry machines. I hear they go on strike sometimes."

"...You mean that the people who do the laundry go on strike," Jack said with a wary look. "Right?"

"Have you not been to the laundry room yet? The person who does the laundry is you."

"I was really hoping not to deal with sentient laundry machines," Jack said with a sigh. "A sentient computer is bad enough."

Claudia's eyes went a little wide. "You have a sentient computer? Like a fully functioning AI system?"

Oops.

"Sure," Jack said trying to make it sound offhand but totally failing. "Doesn't everyone?"

"Wow, you really didn't pull that off, man."

"Okay, so I have an AI. I'd think everyone on this island has one as a pet or something."

"Most people on this island have managed to be their own pets at some point or another," Claudia said. "An actual operational AI is pretty rare, though, as far as I know. Too many magicians, not enough scientists."

"Yeah, well this one tends to be a bit needy," Jack said with a sigh. "Neurotic might be a better word."

"Is that an error in the programming? Or is it just . . . that full of personality?"

"Oh, it's a personality, all right," Jack said in a weary tone. "Don't get me wrong. She's very nice and back home she was fantastic. It's just that she's a bit... motherly."

"Awww," Claudia said. "She wuvs you!"

Jack shuddered a bit at that. "Don't... Don't encourage her," he warned. "Especially if you want to meet her."

"But it sounds totally adorbs!"

Yeah, this Nathan could do. If there was one thing he could do in his fucking sleep, it was shag a girl and talk. And since he couldn't shag a girl in class, talking would work just fine.

Hell, he'd already proven that he could rock at monologues. Those cardigan cult members could vouch for that.

"Dude, you have your own COMIC BOOK!?!?!?!?!"

Hank was in AWE.

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Talking Is A Free Action - 21/7 - Thursday

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