fandomhigh | Wednesday: How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse - Period 1

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survive the zombie apocalypse

Wednesday: How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse - Period 1 - Class 2

Today when the students entered the danger shop they would find that the room had been transformed into a shooting range. Like the first class there was a horde of zombies standing frozen on one side of the room, except this time this zombies looked... well for lack of a better term they looked like rednecks. It might be all the PBR cans littered about the place that gave that impression.

Also lying out was a variety of firearms and targets had been posted at the end of the shooting range with pictures of zombies on them.

“Good morning,” Columbus said cheerfully. “Hopefully you’ve been keep up with your cardio for the last week. Make sure you turn in your training logs. For those that have? You get a twinkie. For those who don’t... well you get a twinkie.”

How could Columbus deny anyone from golden sponge cake goodness?

“Today we’re going to talk about rule number two to surviving the zombie apocalypse.”

Columbus hit a button on the remote and once again giant block letters appeared behind him.

“The double tap. The premise is simple: If you can’t outrun a zombie, you have to kill it. For zombies the weakest point is always their head. A good shot to the head will take anyone down... almost When you’ve taken down a zombie with a baseball bat, gunshot or another weapon... always take a second hit. Now is not the time to worry about how much ammo you’ve used. If the difference between using another shell, being eaten or becoming a flesh eating zombie.. take the second shot.”

“Now let’s talk about using a gun.”

What followed was a brief discourse on how to use the multiple firearms that were available and how to use them safely. Columbus was very careful to point the advantages of various firearms and how they could be used to their best advantage.

“Now, if guns are not something you feel comfortable with,” Columbus said as he gestured to the pile of sports and gardening equipment that were set up on the other side of the guns, “You have the option of using something to bash a zombie’s head in. In this particular case the double tap rule should still apply. I would also only recommend this method if you have a severe aversion to guns however I believe this is more of a method of last resort. A gun will allow you to keep space between you and your attackers. If you miss with a gun? You can still run. If you miss with a bat? You better be running very fast.”

Yes. It all came back to Cardio.

“We’re going to take a few minutes for you all to practice with the weapons a bit before we let the zombies loose. And if weapons aren't your thing? Feel free to just run. All right? Let’s go.”

[OCD is up! Warning: This class contains zombies and probably violence against zombies. If you are squeamish this post might not be for you.

For the students: Please use the Request thread if you wish zombie interaction. Otherwise feel free to mod your own.]

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The redneck zombies have been release. And yes, you do have a purty mouth. Is that banjos I hear?

This would be the part where you kill some Zombies. Or run from zombies. Your choice! Both are totally valid options.

K-Mart would always choose killing zombies. Because at least here she got to have fun doing it.

As opposed to back home, where it was less having fun and more surviving.

So that'd be why she was getting ready for a zombie coming her way.

And this was a special zombie. Yessiree. This one had a big old beer gut, a shiny belt buckle and a trucker hat.

Ironically when he was not a zombie he really like Justin Bieber.

Now he just wanted to eat humans. And K-Mart was his target and was running toward her at full speed.

"Gyah!"

No, she hadn't gotten attacked, she just got blinded by light glinting off the belt buckle.

Which didn't change the fact that she'd brought her gun up and was taking a shot at it.

Oh! It was a hit! The zombie was down on the ground lying very still. EXTREMELY STILL!

Clearly this is a dead zombie.

OR IS IT?

Yeah, no, Annie didn't like this. Not even a little. But the way she figured, she couldn't run from these things forever, and it was just a simulation, and shooting something from farther away had to be better than letting them to get close enough for you to... bash their heads in.

....So anyway, guns!

She was holding her gun exactly like she saw in the movies, looking super cautious and aiming the gun at a zombie's head.

Neeeeeever thought she'd be doing this.

For its part, the zombie was not looking super or even slightly cautious, instead shambling aimlessly with arms outstretched.

It just wanted a hug. A hug and tasty, tasty brains.

Even in a simulation, this was really, really, really weird, and Annie didn't want a hug right now. She barely even realized she'd pulled the trigger until she heard and felt the gun go off, and it was probably really lucky that she apparently had naturally scary good aim.

Very good aim indeed. The zombie's shambling turned into stumbling as a decent chunk of its head vanished and it fell over.

Mean, Annie, it just wanted to give you a hug before devouring your tasty brains.

It took her a second to let it really sink in that she'd just downed a zombie by blowing part of its head off. On the first try. And it was kind of awesome.

"I'm a badass," she decided, nice and awed.

She pondered shooting the zombie in the head again, just to make sure it was dead. But no. That'd be wasting bullets. Bullets she'd need for more zombie killing.

And she'd need them sooner than she might think, given the zombie was not quite dead...deader, and if it couldn't have tasty brains, maybe it'd be able to crawl over and gnaw on an ankle instead?

She saw it moving toward her, and rather than freak out as she would have last week, she calmly pointed the gun at its head. "Nice try," she said, narrowing her eyes, and pulled the trigger.

"Very good," Columbus observed from his vantage point. "Though I'd suggest being quicker with the second shot. You don't want to give them a chance to get you with your guard down."

And just at that point a zombie started running at Columbus. Columbus fumbled for a second with his shotgun but was able to get one shot off which took the zombie down. And then like a reflex, he fired another shot into the zombie for insurance sake."

"Like so," he said with a heavy breath.

"But you didn't get in a good parting line," Annie noticed.

Columbus frowned at that and then at the body on the floor.

"Honestly, that's not exactly a sound tactic. Zombies sometimes travel in packs. Making quips looks good in a movie but they don't serve you well if someone is trying to kill you,"

There might be a new rule there. Columbus would have to dwell on that one.

Well, that was less fun. "Okay," she said. "Can I get another one? Just for practice?"

Far cry from she who ran screaming like a girl last week.

Angelica ran like hell. She could have used her powers, but she still had hiding them so ingrained in her that she couldn't do that yet.

"Good speed!" Columbus called out. "Don't wear yourself out too quickly!"

Surreal was being proactive and attempting to shoot the zombies before they zeroed in on her, although 'attempting' was the key word. She was utterly unprepared for the recoil and yelped as she jerked back, and her aim was not nearly as clean as when she used her knives.

"Darkness take this," she muttered, flipping the safety on and tucking it safely away. There were other ways to deal with demon-dead.

Like the large rake with the heavy handle. The handle she was quickly detaching from the metal prongs, since it would make a good staff for bashing in heads. And in the worst-case scenario, she had Craft.

And there would be said zombie running towards Surreal. He was looking rather hungry and seemed to have little concern for garden tools.

That was fine, Surreal had little concern for how hungry he was.

Tossing the 'rake' part aside, she spun the long handle and put force behind the motion to spear him right in the throat. At best, she'd get a kill. At worst, well, maybe it would wind him? She had no idea what weaknesses it had beyond 'stupid.'

How about killing some zombies while running from them? Cally was pretty good at firing on the move.

"Very good!" Columbus shouted out as Cally ran past. "Keep it up!"

Dave just started running. Run, Dave, run.

"Good job!" Columbus called out. "Nice pace!"

If anything, Dave will be in good shape by the end of the seventh week.

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Wednesday: How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse - Period 1 - Class 2

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