fandomhigh | Wednesday: How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse - Period 1

Today when the students entered the danger shop they would find that the room had been transformed into a shooting range. Like the first class there was a horde of zombies standing frozen on one side of the room, except this time this zombies looked... well for lack of a better term they looked like rednecks. It might be all the PBR cans littered about the place that gave that impression.

Also lying out was a variety of firearms and targets had been posted at the end of the shooting range with pictures of zombies on them.

“Good morning,” Columbus said cheerfully. “Hopefully you’ve been keep up with your cardio for the last week. Make sure you turn in your training logs. For those that have? You get a twinkie. For those who don’t... well you get a twinkie.”

How could Columbus deny anyone from golden sponge cake goodness?

“Today we’re going to talk about rule number two to surviving the zombie apocalypse.”

Columbus hit a button on the remote and once again giant block letters appeared behind him.

“The double tap. The premise is simple: If you can’t outrun a zombie, you have to kill it. For zombies the weakest point is always their head. A good shot to the head will take anyone down... almost When you’ve taken down a zombie with a baseball bat, gunshot or another weapon... always take a second hit. Now is not the time to worry about how much ammo you’ve used. If the difference between using another shell, being eaten or becoming a flesh eating zombie.. take the second shot.”

“Now let’s talk about using a gun.”

What followed was a brief discourse on how to use the multiple firearms that were available and how to use them safely. Columbus was very careful to point the advantages of various firearms and how they could be used to their best advantage.

“Now, if guns are not something you feel comfortable with,” Columbus said as he gestured to the pile of sports and gardening equipment that were set up on the other side of the guns, “You have the option of using something to bash a zombie’s head in. In this particular case the double tap rule should still apply. I would also only recommend this method if you have a severe aversion to guns however I believe this is more of a method of last resort. A gun will allow you to keep space between you and your attackers. If you miss with a gun? You can still run. If you miss with a bat? You better be running very fast.”

Yes. It all came back to Cardio.

“We’re going to take a few minutes for you all to practice with the weapons a bit before we let the zombies loose. And if weapons aren't your thing? Feel free to just run. All right? Let’s go.”

[OCD is up! Warning: This class contains zombies and probably violence against zombies. If you are squeamish this post might not be for you.

For the students: Please use the Request thread if you wish zombie interaction. Otherwise feel free to mod your own.]

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Very good aim indeed. The zombie's shambling turned into stumbling as a decent chunk of its head vanished and it fell over.

Mean, Annie, it just wanted to give you a hug before devouring your tasty brains.

It took her a second to let it really sink in that she'd just downed a zombie by blowing part of its head off. On the first try. And it was kind of awesome.

"I'm a badass," she decided, nice and awed.

She pondered shooting the zombie in the head again, just to make sure it was dead. But no. That'd be wasting bullets. Bullets she'd need for more zombie killing.

And she'd need them sooner than she might think, given the zombie was not quite dead...deader, and if it couldn't have tasty brains, maybe it'd be able to crawl over and gnaw on an ankle instead?

She saw it moving toward her, and rather than freak out as she would have last week, she calmly pointed the gun at its head. "Nice try," she said, narrowing her eyes, and pulled the trigger.

"Very good," Columbus observed from his vantage point. "Though I'd suggest being quicker with the second shot. You don't want to give them a chance to get you with your guard down."

And just at that point a zombie started running at Columbus. Columbus fumbled for a second with his shotgun but was able to get one shot off which took the zombie down. And then like a reflex, he fired another shot into the zombie for insurance sake."

"Like so," he said with a heavy breath.

"But you didn't get in a good parting line," Annie noticed.

Columbus frowned at that and then at the body on the floor.

"Honestly, that's not exactly a sound tactic. Zombies sometimes travel in packs. Making quips looks good in a movie but they don't serve you well if someone is trying to kill you,"

There might be a new rule there. Columbus would have to dwell on that one.

Well, that was less fun. "Okay," she said. "Can I get another one? Just for practice?"

Far cry from she who ran screaming like a girl last week.

Before Columbus could say anything there was a giant redneck zombie snarling and running towards Annie and her teacher.

Columbus wisely stepped to the side.

Ew. Annie raised her arm, calmly aimed for the head, and fired.

And then she allowed herself to actually say, "Ew," before shooting for the head again. Because she didn't want it popping up when it already fell down again. This was not a horror movie, right? Then he didn't get a chance to act like a horror movie villain!

"Much better!" Columbus said encourangingly... in between bites of a sno-ball.

"Twinkie?" he offered.

Wednesday: How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse - Period 1 - Class 2

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