fandomhigh | How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse: Wednesday Period 1

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survive the zombie apocalypse

How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse: Wednesday Period 1 - Class 1

When the students entered the dangershop today, they would see that it had been turned into a deserted sports arena, complete with a track encircling a football field.

Well it wasn’t completely deserted. First there was the teacher who was standing in front of his students looking somewhat awkward and nervous holding a shotgun. Honestly if a bunny had been transformed into a human being and given a weapon, he’d look a lot like Columbus Ohio.

Also? There was a zombified football team standing behind him. They were all frozen much as if someone had hit a pause button in the middle of a horror movie while they went out o get a bucket of popcorn.

But we’ll get to them later.

“Hi,” Columbus said with a nervous wave. “My name is Columbus Ohio and I’m your teacher.”

There was a slight clearing of his throat. “So if you’re here it means you want to learn something about surviving a zombie apocalypse. Or something about zombies. If you look at the literature involving zombies, they are typically living undead under the control of some sort of magic or source of evil.”

Columbus then gestured at the frozen zombies standing behind him. “However there are variations. For instance these zombies are from my own world and don’t fall into a magic type of category. These people were transformed into zombies from a mutated version of the mad cow virus. Yes, technically they are still alive however one bite from these guys and within hours you’d be one of them. However no matter where you might have these types of monsters, the rules for survival will always apply. This of course brings us to the first rule.”

Columbus fumbled with the dangershop remote for a moment or two until words in giant block letters appeared behind him:

“Cardio. That’s the first rule of surviving Zombieland. When the outbreak first hit, the first to go were the f-”

Columbus coughed for a second there before continuing.

“Were the people who were out of shape. For obvious reasons. Your homework for the rest of this summer session will be to go for a run at least three times a week and keep a log of how far and how long you were able to go. Don’t laugh. It may not be the most manly of skills but it’ll serve you well in the long run. Uh. No pun intended. As for your classroom activity today-”

Columbus punched off the pause button the remote.

“Let’s see how in shape you are.”

[Please note that this is a class about zombies. If you are squeamish or don't like violence this might not be the post to be reading. OCD is up!]

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Nope. There's no fuzzy-wuzzy-hold-your-classmates-hand-introductions. Run for your life, damn it!

And while there are no weapons, there is plenty of equipment (sporting, gardening, riding lawnmowers) that can be used as makeshift weapons.

Feel free to mod your own zombie encounter or ping below for interaction with simulated zombies.

"Holy crap."

Running! Running very fast! Running very fast and picking up a weed whacker in case any of those guys got too close!

Even knowing it was Danger Shop didn't help with the skin-crawling feeling of euuuch that the threat of having her brain eaten imparted to Scully.

"Interesting choice!" Columbus called out as Scully ran by.

[Are you going to mod your zombies or did you wish to have someone chase you with our zombie account?]

"THANK YOU!" Scully called back, rattled, but glad to have a weapon in hand. "GOOD SELECTION!" Well, it was true.

[gonna tag someone and mod them this week, I think! Thanks!]

WHY HAD TRY NOT TO DIE!! CLASS NOT PREPARED HER FOR THIS.

As far as Annie knew, you didn't really have to be able to kill zombies as much as you just had to outrun everyone else ~~and stay away from windows~~. Which may have been why she was all-out sprinting somewhere that was just not towards the zombie football players, screaming like a person being chased by zombies the whole time.

For some reason.

"Nice pace!" Columbus called out encouragingly.

Though that might not be heard over the screaming. Hmm.

Alex took off at a run, looking for something to use as a weapon. He was Fear son of War. He wasn't going to just run like a wuss, he was going to fight back.

"Good form!" Columbus shouted as Alex ran by. "Keep up the pace!"

[Did you want zombie butt to kick?]

"Thanks!" Alex yelled, and bent down to grab a shovel. Perfect.

((Yes please! I didn't ping below earlier because, well, I was headed to bed.))

The zombies were coming pretty fast and furious. But not in Vin Diesel kind of way.

These zombies had hair.

One of these zombies dressed in full football gear (including a helmet) came running at Alex thinking he might make a good snack.

Re: RUN!

godofxbox - 2011-05-12 04:14 (UTC) - Expand

Re: RUN!

fh-dangershop.livejournal.com - 2011-05-12 04:23 (UTC) - Expand

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godofxbox - 2011-05-12 04:59 (UTC) - Expand

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shotbillmurray.livejournal.com - 2011-05-12 10:29 (UTC) - Expand

Cally had no pop-culture-induced feelings about the shambling creatures, but there was still something intrinsically flight-inducing about the way they moved. Running was not something she had to work up the motivation for.

Or something she was unused to; she was a hundred pound girl with a two hundred pound dog. You do the maths.

"Good pace!" Columbus called out to Cally. "Keep it up!"

Simon was, thankfully (if rather unfortunately) used to running, and had already been doing it semi-regularly for a month or so. Of course, it was a bit different with zombies coming after him.

He grabbed a baseball bat even if his main goal was just staying out of the zombies' reach. (And yes, he did consider turning invisible but that somehow felt to be against the rules, and he wanted to get through this without his powers, anyway.)

Edited 2011-05-11 09:49 (UTC)

"Good choice!" Columbus called out to Simon. "Remember to aim for the head!"

[Did you want any zombie interaction?]

Luke was used to doing stuff like this at camp (with monsters and other demigods rather than zombies, anyway) so he had no problem with doing this assignment. He skipped over the lawnmower since that would slow him down and grabbed a shovel instead. He liked hitting zombies in the face with it more than he'd like to admit.

She would've thought her class yesterday about not dying would've been more like this, but there wasn't really time to think about it. Angelica shrieked and started to run.

The first vaguely weapon-like thing that came to hand was a cricket bat. Since it'd probably be unsporting to use her angel blades, she liked the heft and length of the bat. It seemed like it'd be good for smashing skulls in.

Weapons? Ha! Marshall laughs at your weapons!

Or, y'know. Screamed at them as he ran by, muscles still sore from his Monday workshop getting a burst of adrenaline that pushed him a little faster than he'd thought he could go. Because those were zombies and they were coming at him and was every single teacher at this school completely crazy?

A few strides in, Marshall forcibly cut off his screaming when he realised the air could be put to better use. Like the running.

"Remember, they're not real," Scully called, the swung the weed-whacker at one who got a little too close.

RRRRRRRRRRRRR!! acshl splurfle and then there was blood everywhere as a zombie hand went flying.

"Breathe!"

Marshall dove out of the way of the blood splatter. At least, he tried to, but there was a spray right across the left side of his torso. "Tell them that!" he shouted back over his shoulder before zagging away from another zombie.

Zombies! Zombies! Lucas would be spinning conspiracy theories about how the mad cow was modified by the government. Corrine would be arguing about how logically it wasn't possible. Vaughn would be... probably grabbing a baseball bat or something and smacking zombie heads off. (Stew would probably be ripping them off with his bare hands.)

Marshall ignored the little voice in the back of his head telling him how much Josie would love this class.

"That trick never works," Scully said in weary tones, speeding around Marshall to wave the weed-whacker at another pursuer. All that marathon training was paying off here, yay!

"FASTER! Or you'll start frothing at the mouth when they bite you!"

Way to motivate, Scully.

Re: RUN!

wheeler-360.livejournal.com - 2011-05-11 18:49 (UTC) - Expand

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showmetheproof.livejournal.com - 2011-05-11 18:51 (UTC) - Expand

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showmetheproof.livejournal.com - 2011-05-12 03:42 (UTC) - Expand

"...What the--"

Ender was the one who dealt with this kind of violence, not him!

Which didn't mean that Peter didn't do his fair share of cardio out of vanity, so he took off like a madman. That lasted about as long as it took him to get to a brick wall, where he fished a spade out of a nearby broken-in shed.

Any zombie getting near his wall was getting stabbed in the head, thank you very much. (And probably peeled apart layer by layer as soon as he was sure it was dead, or at least incapable of getting to him.)

[[ nooo zombie required! *mods* ]]

Oh, sure, Surreal would run.

Straight up into the air, waiting until she was a good ten feet up before calling in a stiletto and looking around to see if she could just drop on one. Or wait. She could sit here and wait until class was over, since she did not see any zom-beez doing anything that looked like magic.

Dave was small but spry and had a lot of nervous energy on reserve for when something insane happened. Usually that energy was used on sarcasm, but it turned out it could give him a little bit of a speed boost, too, as he ran flailing from the zombies.

Oh, if only he still had his rapier on him, or the crossbow from that underwater hell. He did have the smoke bomb, but that might not be useful in the class setting.

Still, if they were to catch him, they'd have to catch one of the fleetest Mockers of Krondor, even if he had not actively thieved in several years.

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